Dennis' Adventures

The Birthday Party

2012-01-16T17:22:00.000-05:00

If you've been following our blog since the beginning, then you probably already know that we fondly refer to Dennis and Amanda as our "twins." They share the same birth-DAY, just a different year! :)

This year is actually the 2nd birthday party we've had for the twins, but this year it was actually ON their birthDAY! It was a school holiday, so the kids were all out of school on this Monday! Last year on their birthday, Dennis and I were still in Ukraine and would return home the following day!

(Something extra special about their birthday last year, though, was that Dennis and I met Anya in Ukraine on that day -- she is now their new sister, Amber!)

The day started with chocolate chip pancakes with chocolate sauce ...

Then they had a big pile of gifts to open ...

Dennis' favorite was a remote control motorcycle

How can a kid be so cute while frowning!!?? :)

Amanda's favorite was a puppy that walks, sits, and barks when you pet it

Then we were off to the roller skating rink ...

Had some pizza with friends ...

"Baby Dennis"

And, some cake ...

Did some limbo ...

Amanda in the blue shirt

Amber in the yellow shirt

and generally had lots of fun!

You can view all our fun on FB here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.3136030361152.155918.1276629484&type=3

Celebrating 1 year GOTCHA DAY

2012-01-10T18:39:00.000-05:00

Dennis has been our son for 1 year! YIPPIE! It was about another week before we got home from Ukraine, but 1-11-11 was our official GOTCHA DAY!

Today we celebrated with an oreo ice cream cake and a big smiley face balloon! I will let the pictures tell the rest! :)

Look at that sly little smile! :)

Dennis' First Thanksgiving

2011-11-27T19:37:00.001-05:00

Dennis has been home for 10 months now, but this is still his first Holiday season with us. He was very excited about Halloween last month, and while not quite as excited about Thanksgiving, was still pleased with the holiday. He is now asking every day if it's Christmas!

The preparations for Thanksgiving began the evening before when Dennis had some fun with the left over apple skins from the apple corer peeling machine.

This will be apple pie tomorrow, Dennis!

He didn't actually participate in the cooking, however he does like to hover near whoever IS cooking and at least feels like he's part of the fun! One of the many great things about D's personality is that although he sometimes cannot physically participate in some of the things, he is more than happy to just stand by and enjoy the fun anyway! Always has a big smile on his face!

Dennis prefers the big sisters ... and he is the preferred brother as well!

Amber and Dennis getting ready to go outside and ride bikes.

He doesn't let a little thing like him being on a trike while the girls are on bikes slow him down! He seems to understand his limitations, but does not let that effect his joy in life!

"I'm gonna get you ..."

Skidded out when Mama moved out of the way!

Look, Mama - no hands!!! (Taking after Ashley)

Amanda & Dennis by our newly planted Christmas tree that I won through Dutchman Tree Farms online.

This goofy face on Dennis is because he kept saying "I'm big" and wanted to show Amanda how to jump from the ledge onto the rings. He made it, but didn't try it a 2nd time!

"My baby" he says, but in reality Princess is Ashley's baby!

"MOVE IT ASHLEY"

"Mama, I'm driving"

Dennis and me with the very last of the fall leaves -

everything else is bare bones!!

Getting ready for turkey time!!

Dennis' first round - he liked the turkey and had more, but they all had to have just a small scoop of everything to try it first. Notice his hand on the Matrinelle bottle? Each person at the table had their own bottle!

Gus got some leftovers, too!

Some more Thanksgiving Day Fun!

Not sure what the deal is with #1 and #3 being party poopers!

You can read more about our Thanksgiving fun on Amber's blog here:

http://piecesofmyheartukraine.blogspot.com/2011/11/first-thanksgiving.html

and see all the pictures on Facebook here:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2687464067275.147298.1276629484&type=3

Photo Journal

2011-11-16T16:34:00.001-05:00

November 2011

Ashley & Dennis @ Ruby Tuesdays after family portraits

Ashley & Dennis @ the sushi place for Amber's 1 month adoption celebratory dinner

As you can see, Dennis is the brother that Ashley prefers - and he clearly does not mind!

Amanda & Dennis "helping" me put the food out for Amber's welcome home party

First Halloween

2011-10-31T22:59:00.000-04:00

For Dennis' first Halloween, he chose a Spider Man costume. Sam wanted the black Batman (aka, The Dark Knight). We looked at the options on line and that's what the boys picked. I took Amber to Party City to buy the costumes. (Amber starts school next week). They didn't have them, so after we bought butterfly for Amber and a fairy one for Amanda, we went to Target and found the right ones for the boys. We also bought about 10 bags of candy and 5 pumpkin buckets for trick-or-treating.

Amanda as a fairy princess

When the day/night came, they actually had school that day, we had take-n-bake pizza for dinner and then they dressed up as quickly as they could!! Dad took them to the community center for trunk or treating and then went to our friend Jamie's house and walked around her neighborhood. They hit a couple of homes in our neighborhood, but it's not big on trick or treating.

Sam & Dennis being goofy doing action shots

Mom held down the fort at home. I only had about 5 groups of kids come to the door. I think the barking sounds coming from inside our house helped out a lot!

All 5 - Angel, Spider Man, Bat Man, Fairy, Butterfly

Upon their return home they dumped all their candy out on the table and were given until 9:00pm (almost 35 minutes) to eat as much candy as they want/can. This is a tradition handed down by my mother-in-law so as to avoid any more candy being eaten in the following days/weeks after Halloween. My husband was all over the idea. And, since we have candy stealing issues in our house (won't name which members of the family), I agreed that it was probably the best plan.

See the parallel post on Amber's blog here:

http://piecesofmyheartukraine.blogspot.com/2011/10/first-halloween.html

The rest of the Halloween photos are on FB here:

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2567921838794.144567.1276629484&type=3.

Watch the Halloween/candy eating video posted on youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4V0N3THC4c&feature=youtube_gdata_player

It is really funny!!!

But, what's even funnier is the Jimmy Kimmel Live video about parents who told their kids they ate all their candy!!! Watch all the way to the end, the last two boys are HILLARIOUS!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YQpbzQ6gzs&feature=share

SNOW IN OCTOBER!!!

2011-10-29T13:17:00.000-04:00

Throw that snowball D!!

My apologies for not having updated the blog very much; my husband mostly took that over since we got home in January. We've been a bit busy as of late. If you aren't aware, we went back to Ukraine in September to adopt a girl we hosted over the summer, named Anya. While she is not Dennis biological sister, Snezhana, she is from Ukraine and speaks Russian with him. He likes her alot! :) If you'd like to read about our journey to adopt her, go over to my blog here: http://piecesofmyheartukraine.blogspot.com/

Dennis & Amanda ready to go play!

Anyway ... back to the point of this post! Yes, is it October 29th and we had our first snow of the season today!!! My mind is a little foggy about if we had snow in January of this year, but I'm thinking we didn't. Sometimes we have snow in early spring and its still on the ground at Easter. I'm not thinking that happened either! At any rate, this is the first snow of the fall/winter season and unusual for Virginia to have snow this year on in the season.

We had to dig through the boxes in the basement to find our snow clothes that we'd put away from last year. Since we didn't have any snow yet, we hadn't bought D any snow pants. In Ukraine I had bought him snow boots, so we got those out and they still fit!

I was unsure if Sam's snow bib would fit D or if D would end up wearing one of Amanda's pink ones (she has 2)!! Ended up that Ashley's brown ones we could cinch up by the straps well enough for him to use them - wheph!! So, they bundled up and went out to play.

Dennis & Amanda making and throwing snowballs

I have a good excuse for not being outside this time. I have a broken bone in my foot, so I'm in a walking boot for now. I took most of the pics from the cozy house, but a did venture onto the porch for a few!

I think Dennis loves the snow! You can view all our snow pictures on FB here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2558644646870.144192.1276629484&type=1

First Pumpkin Carving

2011-10-24T12:53:00.000-04:00

Even if you don't participate in Halloween, it is still time for pumpkins and harvest, and then Thanksgiving. Of course they already have Christmas decorations up in the stores!!!

Amber helping Dennis with the pumpkin carving

Dennis came home in January, so this year has been and will be year of firsts for Dennis. We started with his birthday party in January, then Valentine's Day back in Feb, followed by first Mother's Day, Easter, Father's Day, 4th of July (during which his sister was being hosted by us), first day of school, and now we have arrived at Halloween.

Brian took the kids to pick out their own pumpkins. Sadly, not from a pumpkin patch, but from the Giant grocery store. Pumpkin carving kids, complete with sample images to use, were also purchased. After watching all the other kids choose their images and create jack-o-lanters, Dennis chose a cat for his pumpkin carving.

Due to his CP and lack of fine motor skill set necessary to puncture holes or use the small cutting tool, Amber carved his pumpkin while he watched. Thankfully Dennis has a very laid back personality, so his physical struggles do not usually frustrate him very often. Today was one of those days and he was happy to just watch while she crafted a cat for him. At one point he tried to help and accidentally knocked off the cat's tail - oppps! Dad to the rescue used a large staple to re-attach the tail back on the cat.

If you're interested, the rest of the carving photos are on FB here: http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.2556193905603.144105.1276629484&type=3

Bunny ears go with everything, if you're from Ukraine!

The orange

2011-08-24T23:12:00.000-04:00

Melissa has been doing flash cards with dennis and this story is second hand.

The other day she went through a stack of flash cards and at the end he asked where the orange was. Apparently he has come to enjoy saying "The orange is orange"... So much so that they asked me to come over so he could show me how well he does on it.

Water park

2011-08-19T20:25:00.000-04:00

The kids went to the water park today. Dennis is Progressing on getting used to the water... He road the big kids slide and came home quite pleased with himself.

He also surprised Melissa when she told him we were having chicken tonight. He always says "I'm chicken" but this time he said "I love chicken". There were a few other good communication items around dinner tonight too.

Dennis did get his favorite teacher at school again this year... She moved up with her 2nd grade class. Amanda and Sam got their assignments too... From what I know, the schoo, really does not have any bad teachers... Everyone was pleased.

Only one week u til school starts and two weeks until the boys go to gma and gpa... Three weeks until melissa, Ashley, and I head to Ukraine. Woohoo!!! Prayers please.

IEP meeting

2011-08-17T13:48:00.000-04:00

The folks are really helpful at school and Dennis' teacher is on his short list of favorite things in his life. That said they clearly want Dennis in a dedicated special Ed class. I know the real reason... If you take all his needs together, he is a unique case for them. If you ignore his age and look at him as a non-English speaker with developmental delays he is normal. But it is hard for them to separate the age and the delays... Concerns over standardized tests and such. The vice principal almost was straight with us about the reason, but not quite.

For us it is easy, basic math and reading/writing is all we care about this year... He doesn't need to know who the President is or what year the first Olympic games was held.

Anyways, I think we are ok here. They understand and are willing to agree to a plan that includes OT/PT but not a dedicated special Ed class. The special Ed teacher was there trying to sell us on it... It is at a separate school with an hour bus ride each way instead if 5minutes. The big selling points were that we could put him in or take him out at anytime and that it is the only environment where he will be educated with peers. So I asked how many kids have ever left the program... None. What are the ages of these peers... 2 in kindergarten, 2 in first, 1 in 3rd, and 1 in 5th. I wasn't really getting warm fuzzies here.

So the agreement was that he will stay in the normal school/class and we will reevaluate at the end of the first qtr after Melissa has gotten to visit the special Ed class. Honestly I just want ELL with some basic math to demonstrate his ability to learn now that he is in a good environment... That is what he needs this year.

I want to go to Ukraine?

2011-08-14T15:34:00.000-04:00

So as Dennis' sister Snezhana was going through an emotional last week, Dennis decided he wanted to go back to Ukraine too. Much if this was being encouraged by an emotional big sister who had to go back.

One of the days he was sitting on my lap at the computer and he brought it up again. I asked why and he said "Ukraine good". Seizing the opportunity I asked him what it was he really liked... He named mama, papa, his teachers, school, Gus, Troy, Ashley, a neighbor girl, chicken, and Ukraine borscht. When I reminded him all those things are here in America, including the borscht we make that he loves, he quickly decided he'd only like to go to Ukraine for a short visit. So I chuckled and told him when he gets older.

He's been talking a lot about his sister coming here forever... The other girl we hosted too. He says staying in Ukraine would be bad with a big thumbs down and coming to America is good with a large smile. That's his main topic every night for prayer time. He's a sweet [stubborn] boy and he has it figured out.

IEP

2011-08-10T22:38:00.000-04:00

IEP eligibility meeting went fine today. We rejected the first one based on recommendations including the development specialist we saw. Unfortunately the obvious "developmental delay" label is not allowed in Virginia as a determination for kids over 6.

The school administrator still wants to push him into a traditional special Ed class at another school and I have my own theories as to why but won't discuss them here. To a large extent the way the system works in Dennis case really allows us as parents to choose. Basically we can reject the entire IEP thing if we want in which case he still just gets ELL which would be good for this year. We could be making the wrong choice, I don't think so... But that is what being a parent is about.

Dennis really wants to go see grandma macy. At least he's replaced his asking if there is school tomorrow every day with whether he is going to see grandma tomorrow.

Amanda and Sam are fine with school starting in a few weeks. Not really all that excited. Amanda is excited about being able to stay with a friend.

Ashley doesn't want to start school though I think a lot of that is a fear of being new to middle school. She is really excited about traveling with us to Ukraine though. She will be the keeper of the iPad while there... I'm not sure which she is more excited about... The iPad or the trip.

I (dad) am not at all excited about school starting. I've been enjoying being able to have a more relaxed morning schedule. I maybe be working until 10p all the time but in the summer I tend to be able to schedule things so I don't have to set an alarm. And homework... I hate homework... Mine or the kids. I was the guy in college who would figure out what grade I'd get when I don't do any of the homework and cheered when the teachers lost TA funding as homework suddenly was no longer part of your grade at all. I am excited about another trip to Ukraine and what that means for the family when it is complete.

We still only have one chicken laying eggs and they are pretty small. Considering the eggs started coming 3 months earlier than I expected I'm not going to complain.

Major Fail

2011-06-25T21:15:00.000-04:00

Wow..did we mess this one up. Melissa and Ashley went away for a retreat this weekend and we didn't think anything of it. Well... we didn't think ANYTHING of it... like it is the first time Dennis has been without mom overnight since they left the orphanage on Jan 11th.

It took me until about 4p today to realize the reason he majorly regressed this afternoon was likely that he was having a hard time with that. It was a weekend for just those two and they had some important stuff to get done so we hadn't taken time to call them.

Dennis just got off the phone with mom and understands she is coming home after church tomorrow. He has a big grin.

We will have another shot at this to do this better next month with the girls (Ashley, Melissa, and two hosted girls) going away for a girl's weekend.

But wow... the only thing I can say in my defense is that we forgot cause Dennis has so well integrated into the family.

Today Sam ended up in urgent care for a sting/bite he got on Thursday. It got worse last night... whatever it was spread fast. It went over 2" down his arm from the time I left home to when I got to urgent care. The doctor still couldn't explain the clear blistering at the edge of the swollen area... that was just weird. He blamed it on poison oak or something but I seriously doubt it... I guess the only way to know for sure is if someone else gets it too -- but it won't be me as I'm not allergic :)

As a second part of Sam's birthday present we got more fish... at first that is a crazy idea but the Platys' haven't bred as aggressively as the Swordtails so we were down to one platy and 40+ red velvet swordtails. I had also let the water ammonia level get a little high which inhibits their breeding and makes them die off quicker so our population dropped from the 80-90 fish. So we decided to add some color to the tank.

School wrap-up

2011-06-18T10:50:00.000-04:00

Thursday was the last day of school for the kids so we started summer vacation. Playing outside, sleeping in, catching up on cleaning out rooms, etc. We are preparing for the girls to come in 1.5wks.

We never did get ahold of Snezhana. I have had a SMS on Skype going 24x7 for a week. Skype will retry for 24hrs at a time and then fail... it'll also tell you when it was successful. Unfortunately this means S' phone is off... I doubt she got a new SIM card as they are at camp. Hopefully it's just that she lost the ability to charge it. It's hard as D wants to talk to her every day now that his mornings are free and the last time we talked to her she was really sick and couldn't really talk. Right now we just ask for prayers that everything is ok and she'll be able to come for hosting.

If there is something wrong with the phone we'll have to find a way to get her a new phone... for both the girls actually assuming things go as planned. We'll also have to figure out a way to get more minutes for the phones as we only have 7wks of minutes left. With the SDA shutdown in July for a while it gets a little more complicated but God will work things out.

Back to Dennis... we have an educational meeting on Friday where we understand the school is going to try to put him in special education at a different school because he's so far behind. Um... a kid who was NEVER really in school, is 4 months in a country with a new language, and you are concerned that he's not ready for 3rd grade?

Yes, he certainly has learning difficulties but NO ONE knows what they are or how severe they are. All the standardized learning tests are meant for people who know English, were born in America, and are educated in America... he scores at essentially a preschool level "floor level" for nearly all categories. As an example of the culture bias, the tester made a big deal of pointing out he thought he was 7 and he didn't know his birthday... well, he was supposedly 7 when he went to the orphanage and the kids there lose sense of time. Even his sister who is quite intelligent had lost track of the age of her siblings and still thought Dennis was 7 until I walked her through it. On the birthday... he didn't even get a birth certificate until 2007 and we actually don't believe it is accurate... but more so, he was in a culture where he probably had never had a birthday celebration and would not have a reason to remember the day. The tester dies not on nearly every test that it is potentially invalid.

In American after 2nd grade he'd have a [hopefully] stable home, 2 yrs pre-school, 1yr kindergarten, and 2 yrs elementary... not 4mo of school. Anyways... I rant, please pray that the administrators will listen... even the specialist we saw told us NOT to let the schools push him into anything yet.

On a humorous note on his evaluation... they asked him what an oven was for in both English and Russian. His answer... "chicken!". I burst out laughing when I read that in the report. If you'd read previous posts, he LOVES chicken... he'd eat it every meal if he could and starts asking if he can have chicken when he wakes up. He KNOWS an oven is generally for cooking but from his perspective it only serves one important purpose... I bet he'd say the same thing about the BBQ.

He impressed us this morning... he was reading the brand on the cheap sunglasses we bought him that he loves. He's never been asked to think and simply looks at things (letters, colors, shapes, etc) and spits out whatever he wants. With reading it's always "D E N N I S". So I decided to see how well he's doing retaining what he knows since it has been a week since he really did anything in school... "P L A C E". Right the first time... so Ashley grabbed the alphabet cards and he only missed 1 after an initial review. That's really good... we were all impressed.

2 more days of school

2011-06-15T09:08:00.000-04:00

All the kids were up early and excited to be off to school. They were all ready more than 20minutes early.

Ashley was impressed that when she said "G U M" that Dennis knew that spelled gum. We went through spelling a few words like STOP -- which seems to be his favorite new word to recognize -- and he knew some of them. On the way to the bus stop he started counting by 10s out of the blue... 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 .. 20. Ok, some work to do but I'm good with it.

Tonight Ashley has 5th grade promotion as next year she goes to the middle school. It is going to be a LONG ride. Right now they are the last stop for pickup and first for drop off and the school is maybe 2miles away. Next year the school is quite a bit farther and we are the first stop for pickup and the last for drop off. So will go from an 8 minute bus ride to a 60 minute bus ride each way... and the bus picks her up 15minutes later. In winter it'll be sunset by the time to get home and she'll still have to do her school work. I'm hoping she can get a lot of it done at school or the bus ride.

Dennis will move into 3rd grade with the same teacher he has this year. Sam will be the big brother helping him with Ashley at the middle school.

For now, we are less than 2 weeks before the girls get here. I think Dennis' Ukraine sister will be impressed with his progress and that he's the same old silly Dennis she knows. We plan to have a lot of fun.

Slowing pace

2011-06-13T08:06:00.000-04:00

I've noticed my blogs generally slowing down. I guess that is a good thing in most ways. We are just about to be done with school for the year and we have two weeks before the girls get here. WOW! Lot's to do :)

The boys and I got to wash the van and clean out part of the garage yesterday. They were big helpers and we got a lot done... with a lot of fun leaving us all soaking wet.

Dennis has had maybe 3 difficult times in the last 7wks. Not even bad days... just that he got a timeout on the bench. But the last 3 days have all had melt downs. Ashley is away for a week and I didn't realize how much she means to him. It makes sense as Ashley is filling the role of the big sister who didn't come with us. On top of that, Skype calling to Ukraine is broken now so we couldn't connect with her on Saturday or Sunday.

It's been a long time since he was crying hard giving me a hug when reconciling and even longer when he couldn't bring himself to apologize to mom. So a bit of regression over the weekend but hopefully we'll be back on track today.

Perspective

2011-06-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

Got the transcript of D's last conversation with S... well mostly S' aunt and boyfriend.

Aunt as expected was great. D says he "Love it here" and he's doing well in English. Her cow had a baby and she's going to milk it after the call. That was pretty funny but you can tell she really tries to engage him. She made sure he's going to get a hug and kiss from S when she gets here.

Boyfriend... well, that is a different story. He seems to be a nice guy with no ill will but D really wasn't nearly as engaged and you can tell it from the conversation. Starts out good saying S is coming and D confirming he really misses her, and that he's "fed well" with "ice cream" -- followed with boyfriend chuckling -- ... then it goes to where the perspective is key and it is hard for boyfriend to understand. That mixed with not paying attention and responding with "yes" as an american child would whenever his name is mentioned (like by me prompting him to pay attention) or a mix of English "what?" leads to some rather humorous nonsensical exchanges. The oddest one...

B: "What else will you tell me?"
D: Nothing
B: How come nothing? Do you want back home?
D: yes

This one can really irk you on face value. Is he saying he wants back to Ukraine? Well... you have to know D and remember he just told Aunt explicitly that he "Loves" it here -- not a yes/no answer that you can't be sure of. First he may be responding "Yes" thinking that he was asked if he was doing nothing... ignoring the second part of the sentence... or responding to me and ignoring the entire question all together. Second he thinks of OUR house as his home AS HE SHOULD. He's never referred to any other location as home -- well, except the fort he and Sam made of their bed--. You can ask D, THIS is HIS home. So obviously he wants to be home. Third, boyfriend may be thinking he's on vacation as the conversation talked about that a few times and home is home... I would expect boyfriend to say "Ukraine" or "School" if he meant going back there.

Anyways... if he's even responding to the actual question, I classify this like the "Are you learning English" -- "No, not at this moment" --, "Are you going to school?" -- "No, not at this moment" --, "What are you doing?" -- "Nothing but talking to you at this moment" --, and such questions where he just doesn't get the implicit context. So wanting "back home" leads to "why" boredom questions...

D says he's bored but his siblings play with him and he's excited about the checkens... yes, at this point he is really bored on the phone... he wants outside and off the phone. I don't think boyfriend got that and D doesn't get the temporal question. I kept having to prod him to talk.

D says he's been swimming in the ocean... heh... he can't swim and we haven't been in the ocean since last summer.

D says his favorite thing is cartoons. We don't watch TV (no cable, no antenna) and nearly never see cartoons... that comes from left field. The question was about what he's done recently and likes most.

Anyways, it is mostly humorous if you step back and S will see what reality is with him happy and home. She missed most of the conversation as she was sick and seeing the doctor at the time.

BTW he is still behaving and responding well. He is fully integrated into the family.

Work day

2011-06-04T23:21:00.000-04:00

I guess it was more of a me work day and the kids tag along. Picked out new carpet for the living room, Home Depot, Lowe's, Walmart, Michael's, Costco... and wjatever else I'm forgetting.

We are on well water and had a really bad period of "rust" so rust off and CLR almost have that resolved. The problem is limited to kids showers/tubs which I suspect has something to do with their tendency to let the water run for long periods of time whether or not they are in it. Need to actually repair some tile and grout tomorrow. Worked on "tuning" the drip irrigation system as a couple of plants look like they aren't getting enough water... the gardenia blossoms smelled really good though.

Dennis and I did call Snezhana. She's at the Black Sea camping and she didn't sound excited about it last week. Her boyfriend actually answered and when she got the phone she sounded awful. She nearly immediately 3-way called in her aunt to talk to D... D talked quite a bit to her, she seems very nice. Then back to boyfriend who chats with D sometimes and D doesn't mind. Then briefly back to S who said she was sick and the phone dropped... probably due to battery.

Dennis had done better responding in Russian than usual. Though he did say "sleepy on floor" on one occasion which I'm sure was not understood... which is probably best as it means "camping" as Dennis can't seem to remember that word.

Dennis has built himself what he calls his "Doma". He and Sam set up blankets and comforters so it encloses the bottom bunk of their bed. They both enjoy hiding out in there playing. He's had a really positive attitude this week stating he really likes his family and house. Ashley did really well today with a good attitude too so it was an enjoyable day even if it included scrubbing tile with toxic chemicals. I personally can't wait til school is out... that means I get to sleep in and, frankly, I didn't like school and homework when I had to do it... it isn't any more fun working with the kids to get theirs done... that's Melissa's thing.

Operation chicken coop complete

2011-05-30T10:08:00.000-04:00

Our mobile chicken coop. It really isn't much taller than the AC unit and looks better. The handles are so you can move it easily which prevents the place from getting fouled and gives the chickens new ground to forage.

One of the chickens we forced on the ground. Everyone is posing waiting for Dennis to get his shoes on. The sides pull off so you can clean out the inside.

Some day those trees will be big enough to provide privacy on this side of the house.

Dennis finally made it. The food and water hang from hooks so they stay off the ground and come with you if you move it.

The little ladder for the chickens to come up/down. There is a pulley system so you can raise/lower it from the side.

Two doors on each end. The bottom is used for getting to the food/water. The top on each end is for the nesting box.

Package to S

2011-05-29T20:54:00.000-04:00

Relevant to here and there... Package to S... most people only follow the Dennis blog though. Follow the other if you are interested on how hosting goes and stuff centered around the girls.

Weekend

2011-05-22T21:15:00.000-04:00

Ashley and Dennis playing ball. Dennis spent a lot of time on the ground trying to kick the ball. The other kids would run kind of playing keep away so it really worked on his muscles to be able to change direction.

He LOVES the dogs. I caught him many times hugging them. We chained them up in the yard with them so they could enjoy the nice day and play also.

This was a good one. Sam is thinking UH OH!

Sam's turn but he's being a nice "big" brother.

I just loved this one... you can see he puts everything into kicking that ball.

Both kids in the new tent. Last year's was a 2 person tent and I was VERY pleaed to have to upgrade. This one was nice... front area enclosed for all your stuff, easy to setup, the kids could practically stand. Plenty of room. Costco special. Dennis calls it a "big balloon".

Kids playing kick ball. Sam is on the right in the red shorts. Dennis felt a bit overwhelmed with all the boy activity going on. He spent most of the time with me but later we got a football and he, Sam, and I played for quite a bit.

Dennis spending time with me.

Sleepy! He really liked camping. He kept saying he was sleepy though I'm not sure if that is cause he got really tired out or because he wanted to go into the tent and sleep in the sleeping bag.

Pre-camping

2011-05-20T21:03:00.000-04:00

Talking about camping seems to be nearly as entertaining for Dennis as his reaction is to us. "Sleeping outside tomorrow?? Outside on the ground?????!?!!". Sam and I just affirm and we get this big smile like "YOU GUYS ARE CRAZY" in a fun silly way. I guess he's never gone camping in a tent before. Their trips to the camps each summer in Ukraine must be to bunkhouses... not outside or, as in our case, tents.

So to start out the weekend enjoyment the boys got to have popcorn and movie night. They asked if they could sleep on the floor in the basement watching TV and I said yes. Might as well get some practice for tomorrow but without the ticks :)

The girls had to go to bed as they still had cards to do and lots of them. Actually all the kids did well at school this week. Amanda brought home perfect behavior scores every day this week, Sam got his first day of perfect scores (behavior and work quality) with a couple of notes from his teacher about how well he has done, and I talked to Ashley's IEP teacher and she said that she had a really good week -- ignoring not studying enough for her science test and mixing up some terms.

So we are looking forward to a fun weekend. Actually I need to ask Melissa if I can go to the local grocery store. They have drumsticks, thighs, and thigh/leg combos that are awesome for BBQ at $0.99/lb... I'm thinking this summer and going through 15lbs of chicken at a meal... I think I need to clean the grocery store out.

Summer planned!

2011-05-20T20:53:00.000-04:00

Melissa spent the last hour on the phone with our timeshare company. They are actually pretty good and very helpful. Melissa and Ashley already have a purity weekend at one of the resorts in the mountains... pool, miniature golf, spa, horses, etc. She booked it again for her and the older girls to go for a few nights. We also used it go to a theme/water park for a couple days... including paying for the theme park and a lot of meals.

A friend... actually the best realtor ever is letting us stay at his vacation home in Smith Mountain Lake.

So we are pretty booked up for July... we'll manage to make church pretty much every Sunday though on 1-2 occasions it'll probably just be the Russian church in the afternoon. We'll have two weeks to do more relaxed things like sit around the house, visit the caverns, maybe meet up with another girl from the same orphanage who was adopted, or other various local activities.

We had been hoping to go to Sight & Sound Theatres again but it is the same play we saw last year. It was really good but really don't see going ($$$) when only one person hasn't seen it before.

Anyways, that's the nice thing about the timeshare... we'd probably never do much stuff like this if it wasn't for it.

Almost 3 weeks

2011-05-17T08:39:00.000-04:00

Dennis is doing so well... when I came in the boys to wake him up this morning I could hear him giggle. He knows I'm going to go in and tickle him up. He got up really well though had bags under his eyes... probably from his not wanting to go to sleep last night.

Ironically Sam and Amanda got in a little trouble for waking up and coming out of their rooms at like 5:30a. They know they can't come out until 6:30a but I think there is a contest going to see who can get ready first. Amanda just hasn't figured out she actually has to get all the way ready, not just throw some clothes on. But I can't complain about not having to pull them out of bed.

For Dennis, tomorrow would have been 3 weeks since the last meltdown. That is HUGE and shows how responsive he's been to consistent love and discipline. I'm proud of him. "Would" since after getting up so well we couldn't quite hold it together. He's actually done with his time out and is just sitting on the bench waiting to say he is sorry.and give me a hug... then off to school.

Sam went on a field trip to a local park and had fun. Brought home a bit of a sunburn and 4 ticks. 3 he picked off himself and one I got when I checked him out at home. Need to call the doctor today and see what we need to do... they looks like nymphs so I don't expect they carry Lyme's... and with 2 bites the chance of one of them having rings if there is Lyme's is pretty high.

Showers

2011-05-15T09:57:00.000-04:00

The boys share a room and their own attached bathroom. It used to be our guest room, which is now located in the basement. After months of the evening routine taking showers one at a time the had a couple of "rushed" days where there was very little time to shower. On their own they came up with the idea of taking a shower together rather than having to rush through two showers.

I think it is a much better idea than wearing the same underwear every day so they don't have to fold and put as much clothes away.

Where to put the energy

2011-05-14T10:54:00.001-04:00

Looks like blogger.com is partially up again...

Yesterday the kids came home completely wound up... more so than the usual Friday. I know Sam's class got pancakes at school... chocolate chip and he ate 7 of them. Wonder what the other kids were given. Dennis was on the edge of a meltdown... even breaking a cabinet door from trying to open it too hard -- since motor control is a problem he had to apologize but didn't get into trouble.

Three of the kids working on putting together the poles to support the cucumbers and bell peppers. Dennis has strong hands so instead of undoing the twist ties he'd pull the pieces apart.

It was a pretty stressful week and yesterday was not an exception. I had ended up having to go into town in the morning so I stopped by and got trees and shrubs I had been planning to this month. Some leyland cypress, azaleas, and some other brushes... as well as replacement cucumber plants (again) as I apparently planted the others too soon and all but one died in the cold. They were still sitting in the van... so figured the kids could use the energy to help. That managed to help settle the boys down at least.

Dinner was beef brisket and corn bread... which disappeared quickly. The dogs are always pleased too as they get the left over fat and such.

We tried to call Snezhana this morning but her phone is off. Sent an SMS and will try again if delivered... hopefully she didn't change SIMs yet again without telling us. There is a family there right now that we'll ask to get the new number if this doesn't resolve itself in the next 2 days.

We are going to work on the chicken coop today... hoping to get it done this weekend to the point I can stain it. It is warm, cloudy, with a light rain so I will probably leave the tree planting for another day when I won't be turning the dirt into mud preparing the area. Figured I'd use the rototiller to chew up the grass in the area that I'm going to mulch next month.

81%, 81%, 89%

2011-05-10T16:24:00.000-04:00

We started Rosetta Stone the last couple of weeks with Dennis. He's been retaking the first core lesson over and over as he started with like 43%. Part of this is to just get him used to the program. Ashley and I have been splitting the time working with him.

Well today he got 81% on the first core lesson (about 125 questions) and then proceeded to pronunciation and vocabulary. He got in the 60s for the time and then 81% and 89% respectively the second time. Woohoo! When he gets 80% or higher we let him move to the next section.

Mother's Day

2011-05-08T15:59:00.001-04:00

Mom got breakfast in bed this morning and then came out to join us for pancakes that Ashley made from scratch (no bisquick). It was good.

First Mother's Day with D.

We had child dedication today for D at church. The kids all stood up and behaved perfectly... apparently they were all replaced by aliens for a short time. We certainly had the oldest kids standing up there... our church used to have a policy that they only did child dedications for kids under a certain age. Apparently this was change not so long ago... I wonder if the many adoptive families had anything to do with that.

The little model wanting to look cute with attitude I think.

Well.. this was the best pose. Otherwise she just wanted to give sour looks.

All Sam' idea... maybe he was jealous of the D pict doing the same.

The entire clan with mom.

Ashley was really distracted by trying to get Gus into the picture. The big lug wasn't cooperating but I think you can see his ear at the edge of the picture. Just as well... I don't think mom wanted the big dog on everyone in their church clothes.

The boys went and got flowers on Saturday to make sure mom felt loved.

Mom took Dennis with her on her Mother's Day afternoon. He was the only kid without cards to do... he doesn't get cards yet but he's been doing well regardless. He helped with putting the chairs away after church today... picking up the papers on the gym floor and throwing them away. I think mom is going to get her hair cut and then head over the Kohl's. D is REALLY rough on shoes having ripped a hole in the shoes we got him less than 3mo ago. He's going to get a church pair and play pair... and I think mom is getting me some jean shorts.

I'm working with the kids to get their cards done and building the chicken coop. The 5 chicks we have are too big for their box. We are making a "chicken ark" that is the right size, has a low profile, and you can easily move around the yard so it never badly fouls an area. The boys helps me get the wood for it yesterday and get it to my workshop (in this basement).

Hosting dates

2011-05-07T07:18:00.000-04:00

Good news... we finally got dates for the hosting program. Dennis' sister should be here on June 28th or 29th depending on the flight arrangements. Hopefully we have nice weather this summer... last summer it was "August hot" all summer long.

Now time to start scheduling stuff. Hopefully Melissa can get a little bit of unpaid leave to augment her vacation time in order to enjoy things.

It's also time to get our letters together for the girls... need to introduce them to each other before they get on the plane together :)

Day at the capital

2011-05-05T21:09:00.000-04:00

Today the boys and I played hooky and went to get all the dossier documents from the state capital and send them off. They did really well with the 6+ hrs in the car and waiting, hungry, for me to sort, record, and ship the 64 documents.

As we were getting ready the school called panicked... apparently they scheduled the "psychological" evaluation for Dennis' IEP for today and had arranged for a Russian translator and everything. Sometimes it would help if they'd tell us their plans... or maybe I'm the only dad that a couple times a year just decides to pull the kids out of school for part of a day to have fun. At least I framed it as educational... "I know school budgets are tight, so this last minute trip is probably one of the few opportunities they will have to see this VA history" :) We ended up rushing over to school for the 45min eval.

While I was at the front office a woman, older than me, and her daughter came in. The woman had a Russian accent which I was sure of when I heard her ask her daughter if everything was good. I decided to say hi and thank her daughter for helping Dennis out in computer class -- how many Russian speaking 4th graders could be in our tiny southern German town. The mother was obviously uncomfortable with my saying hi... some of my employees say they are nervous to approach me so I guess it is a general thing, I'm scarey :) I solve it with my employees by finding the ones I give heart attacks to and communicate to them until they are numb... but for this occasion I just said thanks and went away.

This was our first picture. They liked the whole stepping out thing though neither understand the meaning of the monument. On the back side was another depiction with a little boy, amongst others, that we decided looked like little D... I think D kissed it.

They really thought this statue of George Washington and others was really cool. It is my favorite too.

On our way to FedEx. We actually got the documents first thing. The center is the "original" building mostly designed by Thomas Jefferson. The wings were added later and hold the Senate and House of Delegates. There is a lot of stuff underground these days.

Sam wanted to make sure D got a picture in front of the American flag that matches his shirt. Dennis now refers to it as his American flag.

They liked the armor in this old VA seal. This one is better than the others as I think the official one these days includes a woman in a toga with not everything covered.

Another picture with a statue of George Washington. This room has many busts of famous people. Sam was intent on finding where Abe Lincoln was despite my telling him that Abe wasn't from Virginia.

And of course the reminder we really do live in the south... a full sized statue of Robert E Lee. The closest "significant" town to us is actually Lee'sburg.

It took me a bit to convince them to pose for this one. They were quite concerned on whether or not they were allowed to sit in the chairs. I guess that is a good thing. This is the "old" part of the building... the Senate chamber I think... that they essentially have open to anyone... well, anyone who has gone through the metal detectors.

I have a bunch more pictures but this is enough for the blog. We are going to send some to Snezhana... I suspect we'll leave out the whole dossier part... well, and probably the skipping out on school part though maybe that would make me a cool dad.

Cautiously good

2011-05-02T22:19:00.000-04:00

Dennis has been dealing with things progressively better. We still have our tantrums but they are milder and he's reacting better to being told no... especially in regards to attitude.

Ashley and I started him on Rosetta Stone yesterday. He got through 30 tests so far at about 65%. I'm very pleased and I suspect the computer classes at school are helping too. He decided he did not want to do English classes so he got a timeout. Afterward he sat on the bench until he was willing to do the work... once he got started he didn't want to stop... even with Ashley and I telling him he could be done for the day. Eventually he decided he was done and it was time to Wii!

Tomorrow he's going to school "wounded" again. He's got a nice bruise on his cheek where he nailed himself on the timeout bench last week. After his shower tonight he came down and he has this red mark/scrape from his forehead, over one eye, to the middle of his cheek. He couldn't tell us how he did it... I figured he nailed himself with the shower door. Amanda claims she saw him not paying attention and ran into one of the legs of his bunk bed.... will be interesting how it looks in the morning.

Oh... and I forgot, Sunday after church he closed his hand in the door of my RX-8 after he had locked the doors so it took a few seconds for me to unlock it and get him free. Poor little guy.

Where does the food go?

2011-04-27T21:52:00.000-04:00

Ok... not what you think. A friend from church brought over dinner due to Melissa's leg injury... it has been really nice of our Sunday school class to do so. I thought it was great... mashed potatoes over ground beef and veggies.

Dennis on the other hand didn't want it. He decided that while I was working that he'd put it in the sink... and then try to tell me he was "all done". Well he was "all done" alright. Of course then he threw a little fit when he didn't get ice cream... one of those moments where you wonder what he's thinking. He never gets desert when he doesn't eat his dinner... why would he think he'd get it when he dumps the food into the sink? Kids :)

He ended up on the timeout bench with some little battling here and there but eventually served his time quietly and patiently... ending with an "I'm sorry" and hug. Sometimes when he is on the bench and gets mad while I'm talking to him, he throws himself sideways to lay down on it. Unfortunately this time he wasn't paying attention and misjudged the wooden arm rest... I think he'll have a nice little bruise line tomorrow. After he served the timeout he did fine for a while and then decided to give attitude so he got another 10minutes which ended up being painless and he willingly sat himself down and didn't move. Woohoo!

This didn't keep him from asking for chicken, bread, and ice cream later on a few more times but it didn't prevent his compliance with requests so I ignored it. It's like him saying "no" to a lot of stuff but then complying... except for when he's obviously mocking, I try to let the actual words go by due to communication difficulties and pay attention to the attitude and compliance.

As usual, evening ended great with prayers and getting tucked in. He gets over stuff quickly and moves on.

Oh... and he's gotten a little tired of some of the mothering he's been getting from his siblings and wants a bit more independence. He's also proven to be a little tattler... I think I need to find out how to say "mind your own business and worry about yourself" in Russian... I'm sure there is a similar colloquialism :)

Family Rules

2011-04-27T21:32:00.001-04:00

So I'll be frank, I so far absolutely hate this Family Rules program... but I'm trying to stick with it while we work the "tuning" out... but I'll rant anyways cause I feel like it...

Basically the plan works where the kids get cards to do stuff (clean, walk dogs, etc) if they break rules and rewards ($) if they obey during the day. It works fine for Sam but he's already compliant most of the time... pretty much any "system" works on him. We don't use it on Dennis cause it is too complicated for him to comprehend.

I have a couple issues with the cards but the fundamental issue is it takes too much time to deal with. You track the cards, check the work, stay on top of dawdling, etc. We've even instituted a 15min minimum time but that still requires disruptions over 12 times an hour as long as the kids have cards. I'm actually sure the system works fine for a stay at home parent but I get the kids off in the morning, work 50hrs+ per week from home, try to get the kids through their homework when they get home, half the time make dinner, and get the kids ready & in bed nearly nightly... besides taking care of the house and stuff outside. Not complaining, I enjoy it and being busy... but loss of privileges/toys, timeouts, grounding, and appropriately addressing outright defiance are much more immediate and efficient. This having to administer a program every 3-5 minutes just doesn't fit.

I finally gave up after 4 straight days of my oldest being difficult, ignoring the cards, and being snaughty... I "broke" the family rules guide to confront the behavior directly -- not just say "you earned a card for xyz" and write it down -- and within 30 seconds she had snapped out of it and was compliant... apologizing, hugging me, asking for forgiveness, and agreeing to try to work on the "family rules" program -- and no it did not involve a spanking. She is typically my biggest helper and since starting this system I've yet to ben able to get her back "on track" once she starts misbehaving. She is the girl that will find any possible way to manipulate a system.... she's really smart in that mischievous kind of way... I love that girl, she's a blast when she wants to be and a challenge when she doesn't! :)

I'm hoping we can work out cards that take an hour to complete or more. I think they actually enjoy the "positive action" cards too much and I'm not sure they aren't an incentive to actually misbehave to get cards. Even the "hard" cards like cleaning the shower have no teeth to them since they sometimes go through the cards frequently enough to where it hasn't had the chance to get dirty. I'm thinking one of those nazi prison camp tortures... moving a pile of dirt from one end of the yard to the other... of course I'm guessing my oldest would decide that looking busy outside in the sun all day was ok every day... maybe even get really dirty for fun :)

Made it

2011-04-26T08:18:00.000-04:00

Wasn't sure D was going to hold it together this morning. He was a bit grumpy and then got angry over Sam and Amanda having money. They each get ice cream money on Monday if they aren't in trouble... Sam and Amanda saved theirs and Dennis spent his. I'm not sure if he didn't understand or didn't care but he decided to fixate on it.

We just kept moving this morning and D stayed just behind us saying he wouldn't do each thing and then doing it. When outside he went halfway to the bus stop and turned around to walk back to the house with a "baca baca". Ashley was quite concerned I was ignoring him and letting him go. Sure enough... a few minutes later he was standing behind me at the bus stop :) He is continuing to comply when he's upset easier and push much less hard or often... he gets we are serious.

Last night we had lamb for dinner... apparently dad makes good food... BBQ lamb and strawberries. Dennis had 3rds... more than I did.

Happy Easter

2011-04-24T10:03:00.000-04:00

Despite not wanting to get out of bed today he was quite the happy boy this morning. The weather looks to be hot, good thing we spent yesterday getting all his shorts out.

The cooperative 3... the size is about right from a maturity/development standpoint. Keep in mind that Sam is 1.5yrs younger than D on paper.

Mom and the "little" ones.

Mom and the boys... Sam and the book he forgot he was supposed to read over break... ooops. We know what he'll be doing today.

The boys... mom decided we didn't need flowers in the background cause we are boys. D really wants a tie... we'll have to deal with that soon. Dad has been working on everyone else's laundry and spring wardrobe this week... he's got his shirt on with a collar that is .5" too small... it was clean.

You wouldn't know it by this picture but Ashley is having a really rough morning.

Ashley had to get a picture in with little D. The smiles were encouraged a little by the incentive of including mom's behind in the picture... just missed it. I think Sam was helping me get a chair in the garage that blew away in the storms last night.

Now off to church.

Coshca Vabbit

2011-04-22T19:08:00.001-04:00

The Children's Miracle Network was setup at our local "Coshca" (Costco) and they had a big Vabbit (Easter Rabbit) outside. Dennis was quite enamored by it. I remember New Year's being Ukraine's big holiday with all the animals.

Tonight D got upset at something and kicked Ashley. Frankly I'm sure she was asking for it. I just reminded him he needs to be nice and not hit. That was it... he started crying, then got upset, and refused to eat dinner with the rest of the family... even his favorite... chicken, cake, and ice cream... can't beat that. Instead he sat at the top of the stairs talking to himself trying to get attention. One of the kids said it well about his little tantrums... "I don't think [the behavior] is working out so well for him". Fortunately stuff is really winding down with him... I think he's seen the lines consistently drawn and is getting more comfortable with it.

911

2011-04-22T15:50:00.000-04:00

I don't think I ever posted about this... but it is from a few weeks back.

I get a call and caller ID is from the local sheriff. Says someone from our house called 911 and of course while I was on the phone dialing and you could hear it clicking. He took my name and canceled the call.

The kids tell me it was Dennis and someone had come to his class today and taught them how to call 911. DOH!

Anyways, that downstairs phone that is so tempting for the kids to play with has been disconnected and Dennis has been taught not to touch phones.

MRI

2011-04-22T13:17:00.000-04:00

Dennis was great. He liked the noises and laid really still holding my hand through the entire thing. I got him smiling several times. So how many people get to see their own brain? not me...

"Me monster"

This one is my favorite.

And of course the normal one.

I'm not a doctor but it looks all there to me :) We got the MRI on CD so we had fun looking at all the pictures. Some of them you can see his eyeballs, some his ears, a little of his spine, etc.

Ok... enough entertainment for now.

Singing away

2011-04-22T08:04:00.001-04:00

Dennis has started singing in the car a lot this week. I noticed he did so in children's church a couple of times when he first got here in January but it has been continual now. We listen to WGTS all the time... or playlists the kids make of music I've put on their DSi's (Toby Mac and Geoff Moore seem to be favorites). The singing varies from almost humming to pretty clear... I'm surprised how much he's picked up. And it's pretty adorable in his Russian accent and lisp :)

This is the last week day of spring break... boy does D like to sleep in. Not like Sam who is up at 6:30a every day... D would sleep til noon if I let him. I do need to get the kids back to bed by 8p this weekend so Monday isn't so hard. I get really lax on vacation and they've stretched it out to 10p a few nights... mom isn't so pleased about that.

I'm going to have to get D up pretty soon. Today we go for his MRI to see if there is actually any brain damage associated with his condition. He clearly has hypotonia but the medical records were translated as hypoplasia... I suspect that is just wrong but not impossible either. Hypoplasia can affect the brain so the MRI would tell us that. D really is doing great... he's been running a lot more and falling a lot less while doing so. You should have seen him this morning... I was out walking the dogs and he comes running clear across (100ft) our lumpy, unmowed, yard to where I was. No more "stomp", was a little out of control, but kept coming full bore with no falls... wish I had it on video.

Behavior wise we have had a nice last two weeks. I'm hoping we've transitioned out of the 2-3yr old tantrum phases to 4-5yr old... I'm going to withhold judgement on that until I see how transitioning back to school goes next week.

Not more shots

2011-04-20T21:15:00.000-04:00

Sam and I took Dennis to the doctor. He's never had a problem before but when he saw that needle his head went in his hands. He was a trooper but he was sad. He got hepA and MMR shoots... the blood tests showed he was missing one of the "M"s.

He recovered quickly and we walked over to IHOP for brunch... that was a BIG hit. Sam kept saying it was the best breakfast he ever had. We had plans for the rest of the day and next stop was the carpeting place. I was surprised at how expensive it is going to be but it has to get done... I'll work something out this week and get it scheduled.

Then Sam suddenly became really sorry he ate... he got really sick really fast. He also was a big trooper about it but we cut the outings short, got gas, and went home.

From there I conscripted Ashley and Dennis to go to Frederick (opposite direction then the morning) to finish our trips. Sears for stuff for the lawn "tlaktor", Walmart for misc household things -- got D a pair of shorts and sandals too --, Popeye's for CHICKEN, Michael's to pick up our family portrait, and PetSmart to grab some stuff for the aquarium -- everyone but D has something in the tank that is "their's" so he got frogs, loaches, and some plants.

The big thing for me was the family portrait. It has been a goal of mine since he got home to replace our family portrait with a new one. It hangs over the fireplace... I don't know if he sees it but I do.... a big glaring reminder that he's somehow different. Well, no more... he saw the old picture resting up against the wall of my office and we went looking for what is there now. When he saw the new picture he had a really BIG smile... and then asked about Snezhana in it... ouch. I told him he needs to tell Snezhana he wants her in this family.

Assessor

2011-04-19T23:00:00.000-04:00

I had to work today... trying to take most of the week off but only succeeded in taking off 1/2 a day so far. Had an email from my county assessor saying the letters were ready and that she'll send them tomorrow.

Employment verification letter was delivered to get signed. Now just waiting to waiting to see the return labels get sent back.

Chicken food

2011-04-17T21:18:00.000-04:00

The boys and I worked in the yard these evening. Planted 2 blackberry bushes that I'm sure aren't going to make it, fertilized the trees and blueberry bushes, and dug wider areas out around the fruit trees.

It was a few weeks ago that Dennis saw a worm, jumped back, and said "snake". This time we started finding grubs so Sam went inside and got a glass to put them in... food for our chicks. Dennis thought that this was great and proceeded to gather all the worms he could find. I would have rather left the worms for the trees but he was just so excited about it I didn't want to stop him.

The chicks didn't quite know what to do with the new menu... I saw them manage to devour one of the smallest worms. Some of those things were huge.... will be interesting to see what we find tonight when we check on them before bed.

D right now has his head in his hands at the table and is not saying whether or not he wants ice cream. I haven't decided if it is a good thing or not. It means he realized immediately he had disobeyed without ending up in a battle or tantrum over it. On the other hand he introverted. We'll see how it works out. We had pizza tonight and I caught him trying to sneak part of it to the dog -- minor infraction at our house. I told him no, not dog food and he stopped and went back to his plate. Then 20 seconds later he's trying to sneak a piece to the other dog. When I caught him he did the whole head in hands thing.

Started new blog

2011-04-17T16:55:00.000-04:00

So along with starting a new dossier and adoption, I started a new blog. Just to leave this one focused on D.

Wow, what a happy camper

2011-04-17T09:31:00.000-04:00

Mom is still injured and not coming to church today... I'm managing to get the family off for 2nd service which means D got to sleep in. He also took a shower. He is one HAPPY little guy this morning. Guess he likes his sleep... I suspect at the orphanage he was able to crawl out of bed at 8a and walk across the hall to school. Here he has to get up at 6:30a and get moving quick.

Ashley helped him pick out his clothes and did a really good job.

I was a bit worried... about D not the clothes. He got sick all over the bathroom Friday night and last night he told me he was really hot after prayers and didn't look so good... I looked at his bed heater and he had set it on "bake".

Finished letters for his Ukraine grandma and orphanage director last night. Melissa just needs to get pictures picked out.

I'll end with Sam's list of what he's grateful for... misspellings and all... this is one of the cards he pulled to do...

I'am grateful for my dad and mom
I'am grateful for Dennis and my sisters
I'am gratfull for you Lord and your son
I'am gratful for your world
I am gratfull for the cars that we make
I am gratfull for our nabors
I'am gratfull for our homes
I'am gratfull for money
I'm gratfull for the stores
I'm gratfull for me
I'm gratfull for Grama and Gamp
I'm gratfull for Ashley
I'm gratfull for Amanda

Run D Run

2011-04-15T23:04:00.000-04:00

Kids got home and started spring break... Yeah! As soon as I got off work Dennis and I started tilling the garden for the final time... mixing in the fertilizer. I think he likes the idea of controlling the motorized equipment. Then planted the tomato, cucumber, strawberry, and onions. The other kids didn't get to participate as they were doing "cards" in the house.

At one point we needed to go get something back at the garage so I ran off. I turned to find he was following me running too. He did this a few times... first 2 he lost control and bailed in the grass. The last 2 he was solid... none of the CP "stomping"... he was keeping up, making turns, and handling terran changes. He was awesome.

The kids were all excited to have cold ham from earlier this week for dinner... so that was easy. Melissa has a kickball injury from playing little kids... so she got back from her MRI and is milking it for all it's worth. I'm going to give her a horribly bad time if she missed church on Sunday. One of the guys in church had his heart stop, was in the ICU, got a pacemaker put in on Friday, and still was in church on Sunday... she get's a little boo boo and she's bed ridden.... ok... so the pain meds make her sick so she can't take them and she hurts laying down, but it certainly sounds like a good story :)

Poor D got sick upstairs and felt like he needed to clean it up himself... seemed to think he was going to get in trouble for it too. Poor guy.

Tomorrow we call Snezhana. Though I really have to get requests for marriage licenses and Virginia background checks notarized and FedEx'd out tomorrow. With S, I will try to tell her "no S mama" and see if she understands... she should. Other than that I think I can live with her 3-way calling again until we get the opportunity to have someone communicate things specifically.

Dossier quick start

2011-04-15T16:24:00.000-04:00

Well, we weren't planning on needing to submit our dossier until August. Then they announced that the SDA will shutdown June 1st'ish just accelerated it. So now we have 3wks to get everything done... WOOHOO! Home study scheduled, contacts being reconnected with... I think the long poles are the Marriage Certificate (mom/dad might be seeing if you are headed to Sac any time soon) and Virginia State Police background check.

Ashley and Dennis are legally required to be interviewed this time since they are both 10. Dennis of course can't communicate and even in Russian he really doesn't. Ashley won't communicate... that should be interesting. I've impressed on her it is important.

Woohoo

2011-04-14T08:36:00.000-04:00

It's an awesome day, everyone made it to the bus on time, and everyone was in a good mood. Dennis seems to enjoy our little ticklefests in the morning to get him out of bed.... I can see his mouth smiling when I come in as he curls up into a ball to delay the inevitable getting cradled in my arms out of bed. I'm good with that... all our kids have gone through that phase -- still do to some degree just shorter -- , usually for a couple of years and I'm sure he's never experienced it.

D was downstairs and wanted me to put his DSi on top of the fridge... the "timeout" location for toys taken away. I asked him if he was sure, he thought about it a second, smiled, and said no. Took a little time to get him to take it upstairs to his room... counter, no... stairs, no... but he was compliant, just trying to be lazy :)

Amanda was funny as she tried to get away with wearing her dress shoes to school. I told her she could not leave the house without proper shoes. Thought I might be bringing her in tardy to school for once. Keep in mind Amanda is our child who seems to move in slow motion all the time... she comes running out of the house as the bus is pulling up... going as fast as she can. Albeit her running is actually slow and the backless shoes she found didn't help, she didn't stop running and she made it on the bus just as everyone was getting seating. phew.

Yesterday D was late to school again... I don't think the school looks fondly upon seeing me a couple of times a week with him. I don't think they understand what goes on with adopted kids... but that's ok. I've tried to explain. I know Ashley has even tried to explain but they don't seem to get it. Despite that I'm not going to fireman's carry a screaming/kicking 10yr old boy throwing a 3yr old tantrum onto the bus and strap him in for them... though sometimes I think I should do so just once. D was just Mr Grumpy yesterday but the little battle was over putting on his medicine for his post surgery care... he doesn't care since he feels fine and it was something he thought he could try to control. I told him if he didn't put it on "it" might fall off and he wouldn't leave the bench until it was done.... it took a while to sink in yesterday but eventually he apologized, hugged (broke down crying as he does when reconciling), and let me put the medicine on. Ever since he's been very insistent we put the medicine on and knows the schedule very well... heh :)

Amanda is the bunny on the far left in front. She had a speaking part before this singing part.

I ended up picking up Amanda sick from school yesterday. She seemed fine by the time I got there but it was fine. I think it might have been nerves from the play last night. She was in the play and it was pretty cute... and fortunately short :)

Please pray for us for this afternoon... we have some stuff to deal with this afternoon that, in the words of my oldest, are "stupid". Sometimes you have to deal with stupid things though.

Drawing lines

2011-04-11T14:55:00.001-04:00

So we got the transcript of the last conversation with S and the 3-way call. Apparently biomom was briefly on the call... D didn't say much though oddly said twice he wasn't learning English, probably cause he isn't in English class right then. Ukraine gma and biomom clearly haven't spoken to D enough to realize that his communication is limited. Even stuff like are you in school... well it is Saturday, so he answers no. Most of the time D just didn't respond.

Aunt on the other hand did well talking to Dennis and noted he even speaks Russian now better than when he was there. If true it's probably cause he's enjoying himself, working on speaking specifically (even if in Englsh), and healthier.

So now we have to figure out what to do. Need to talk to Melissa about it. We will probably have someone call with us this week and tell Snezhana we want to be the ones calling gma and aunt (?) so as not to lead to the confusion of Saturday. Also, that we don't want him talking to biomom... though we were just going to have him talk to gma, clearly D does well with his aunt and we are [probably] ok with that.

Answers to unknown requests

2011-04-10T15:22:00.000-04:00

There are a lot of things I'm proud of my daughter Ashley for and I get more proud as time goes on. One thing is that she has no fear of asking others to pray for her at church. Nearly every week she puts a prayer card in at church and, unlike dad would do, she explicitly marks it to be published in the bulletin every week... and of course it is. Nearly each week it is something praying for Dennis...

I looked this week to see what she put and sure enough it was about Dennis being able to call his sister which is often a topic... but there was another that was new. That D could talk to his Ukraine grandmother. If you read our last post "Ambushed" you'd know D talked to gma, aunt, and a cousin (?) yesterday... but that's not the important part, this was Ashley's unknown prayer request.

* We had tried to call before but gma's phone was "broken"
* We weren't even planning to call Snezhana this week due to Dennis' surgery and we didn't really want him confusing S about what happened
* We didn't actually call Ukraine gma but Snezhana 3-way called her while we were on

What a great way to teach Ashley about answers to prayer.

I was almost flattered by Ashley today too. Her "punishment" card this morning was that she had to write something nice about everyone in the family. Mine says I was funny... pretty much every dad wants that... especially when his wife no longer thinks so :) I was pretty happy until I noticed she wrote everyone was funny... except for Dennis who she likes to play with. Oh well... it was nice while it lasted.

Dennis woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Not sure what it is about Sunday's and being cranky... even went to bed on time. He likes going to church and does well. He ended up insisting he would control where/what we were going to eat (MCDONALD's, CHICKEN, PIZZA, ICE CREAM!!! <repeat>). Instead he ended up on the timeout bench missing lunch... and spending another 1-2hrs there until he decided he could apologize. He makes an excellent object lesson for the other kids... I get to ask them things like "What do you think the chances are he's going to get what he wants by this behavior?" ... fortunately each gave the right answer :)

Ashley's helping him stay "level" now that he's reconciled. She's such a big help.

Ambushed!

2011-04-09T10:36:00.000-04:00

Ok, it wasn't that bad but I was on edge. We called S today... decided that Dennis is in a really good mood so it was ok. Oddly, the surgery isn't even on his mind. She was washing clothes which she tries to do nearly every day. As expected, the shoes we sent her were too big but we sent money with a family adopting a friend of her's right now... so hopefully we can take care of her that way.

Suddenly the phone went dead and 30seconds later we were in a 3-way call with Dennis' gma. Last week we finally got the aunt's phone number and weren't setup to call on our own so we weren't planning to until next week. I thought about just hanging up but I watched Dennis' face closely and listened to the words I could pick up... figured if we are trying to make nice, hanging up is a bad first impression if I don't have to. His Ukraine gma has a VERY forceful voice... old school soviet, many of you know what I mean. It all seemed good but we'll get the conversation translated. Dennis' did his typical "good", "no", etc type of answers. Snezhana interjected once in a while in her distinctly softer and quieter voice... she confirmed with us that was gma and said it was all good.

Then the silence repeated and a different woman was on the phone. A much more gentle voice... from what I heard about biomom I figured it wasn't her so it must be aunt. At one point she asked Dennis who his brothers and sisters in America were and he named them off twice... she didn't understand the names but that's ok. A little while later a little girl... probably 3yrs old got on the phone in a sweet little voice and talked to Dennis. I assume a cousin.

Then that was over with more silence... Snezhana came on for a little bit and confirmed it was aunt. Then she said something to me quick and the connection ended. I think it was that the battery was dead as we tried to call back and got the out of service message.

So all-in-all I think it was ok... we still want to do a call directly once a month or so with one of S' friends in America "monitoring" for us. As long things are ok and they don't try to guilt or manipulate him at least. Of course now that I type this, I guess we should have the kids call their America grandparents monthly at least too :)

Good Sleepy

2011-04-08T15:44:00.000-04:00

I think I might have a druggie in the making.. after he woke up completely he has told me several times "good sleepy" while making a motion of a mask over this nose and mouth. I'll be sure to keep glue bottles and aerosol cans away from him :)

He was a real trooper... the last time he ate/drank as 7p last night and the whole family helped to make sure he stayed that way. Making sure they ate before he came down, hiding all the cups, turning the water off in his bathroom sink, not talking about food/water, etc. I fasted with him just so he knew he wasn't in it alone. We left as planned right after the kids got on the bus and ended up at the surgery center 45min before we were supposed to.

We ended up in surgery WAY late. He watched the entire Shrek 2 movie in pre-op and we even stopped a couple of times for people to talk to us. He was ok until the anesthesiologist came in taking to him soon after we got to pre-op. He got upset for some reason and put his face in his hands. Then a nice nurse came by and got him out of it taking his temp, blood pressure, etc.

But then the gurney arrived... whatever his background, he associated that with something very scary. He started telling me he was all done with the bed, all done with the computer, wanted to leave. He was scared. He was sitting on the bed and eventually couldn't handle it so came to sit on my lap... instead I set next to him for the next 1hr+ on the gurney. He held my hand. Fortunately the staff realized he was barely holding it together and allowed me to get a robe/cap and join him to the OR.

When we finally got to the operating table he was a perfect angel... still scared to death and wouldn't let go but he didn't fight, argue, or anything. They put the mask on him and a minute later he was out. He still had my hand clenched though and we had to pry him off even as he was out... that was hard.

The guitar shirt, at home after surgery. He wanted the picture to show up on the AppleTV when playing music.

He did well waking up... was in tears at first but calmed down soon after I got there -- wished they had gotten me before he woke up. He was dazed and wanted nothing for a while. Then got him naming colors... when he finally came around he wanted his "guitar shirt"... literally an electric toy guitar built into a shirt with an amplifier and a pick. We then went to McDonald's and promised, and home.

The knife

2011-04-07T22:35:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow morning D goes under the knife... ok, minor thing but they do have to put him out. Hopefully I'll manage to not pass out on this one... I'm mean sheesh, no problem with my wife getting gutted with a C-section, even getting closer for a better view, but I'm on the floor with D getting blood drawn or after getting 3 shots myself... NEEDLES BAD.

He'll get his DSi back and I told him we'll go to McD's afterward -- though I suspect he won't even want ice cream for a while. He can't eat or drink until afterward and he's gonna be REALLY unhappy about that... I even turned off the water to his bathroom just so he doesn't try to get something. We'll actually leave a little early, right after the bus goes, and probably end up in worse traffic just so we don't end up in a battle at home over food and water.

We haven't explained anything in detail, pretty much just what we could in common language which isn't much. Figured it would cause more harm than good... just scare him. I'm sure he'd start thinking about everything he's been told in Ukraine about Americans cutting kids up for body parts... sheesh.

Speaking of that, when we were chatting with our Russian translator at the office in Baltimore we discussed this. She was aware of the whole body parts thing and just shook her head about it... something along the lines of silly ignorant paranoid people. She was very nice... I wonder if she just volunteers with the hospital.

Doctor

2011-04-06T19:02:00.000-04:00

Melissa and I took Dennis to see a CP specialist in Baltimore... takes months to get on his schedule. We worked hard and were successful, I think, to finally get Dennis out of this bad attitude he keeps falling into the past few days. The place is really nice and a Russian translator met us for the entire 2.5hr app't.

Initially a nurse did the typically pre-check stuff. We spent much of the time showing off his knowledge of colors, relative size, shapes, etc.

We spent quite some time with a social worker getting background information and asking how things were going. He seemed very pleased with everything... which makes sense, stuff really is going very well.

Then we were by ourselves for quite some time. The Russian translator chatted a bunch with D and at some point he realized he hadn't been doing well behavior wise (probably all the mention of ice cream and broccoli) and ended up with his head buried in his hands. The translator felt really bad but we explained that is what happens when he realizes he hasn't been behaving and it'll be ok.

When the Doctor showed up, Melissa managed to us that to get Dennis to open up and he was from then on. He did really well... and confirming he understands English well he got nearly every instruction perfect. Honestly the only new thing we "learned" was that the Doctor believes he is too functional and improves too much too quickly to actually have CP... probably some much more minor disorder. On our request he prescribed an MRI and we scheduled a follow-up in 6mo. I think that'll be the last one in unless something enlightening happens.

And this morning

2011-04-06T07:30:00.000-04:00

D: School Tomorrow
Me: Yes Dennis, School tomorrow, Doctor today
D: ICE CREAM ICE CREAM ICE CREAM

Ok... at this point I couldn't help but smile and chuckle. I had actually been concerned about his short term memory... you know past a few hours. No question now... hehe.

He ended up just sleeping in his skivvies last night as his PJs. He fought his PJs (I forced the skivvies) and I figured he'd have good natural consequences. I checked in a few times to make sure he was covered but he obviously wasn't comfortable and squirmed a lot.

Dennis has gotten really good at recognizing his name and the individual letters in it. He spends a good portion of his time in church flipping through a Bible finding the letters in his name. He's also figured out his brother Samuel's name is in it so I think he's looking for his. I had a sticky note on my monitor about his surgery on Friday with his name in the middle of a bunch of other stuff... he found that and has probably shown me his name and spelled it out a dozen times now. I'm proud of him... remember he had no reading, writing, or alphabet skills in Russian so this is all new to him... he's 6yrs behind from American born kids.

He's doing very well given he has no foundation of language like most kids who are adopted.

I'm not sure that word means what you think it means

2011-04-05T20:53:00.002-04:00

No brocolli, ICE CREAM... no ice cream -- I mean come on, have we ever allowed desert without eating dinner?

No brush teeth... teethed brushed

No shower... showered

No close door... door closed

Oh little "my will" attempting boy. The other kids are being very understanding even through the recent nightly ranting -- tonight around ice cream mostly. Sam, who shares a room with Dennis, came out asking if he could get toilet paper and stick it in his ears. Now D's shouting I love you mama, I love you papa... spooky night, etc... basically just trying to be defiant.

We'll see how "no doctor" works out for him tomorrow as we head to Baltimore.

He did have some fun today out walking our smaller dog out on his own in our yard. Think it made him happy he got to do something without direct supervision.

My best friend

2011-04-05T08:53:00.000-04:00

and I don't know it...

Dennis has been continuing to have a bad attitude, even through this morning. Got an "America bad" which it has been a while for that. He couldn't even get out a "money please" for his weekly ice cream money -- so of course he didn't get any. Ashley is really good to help coax him along trying to help him do the right thing and keep him out of trouble. She's pretty good at not overstepping her authority and responding to me when she is crossing the line. I'm certain he doesn't appreciate how much she helps him.

Dennis did actually make it to the bus this morning... much to Ashley's "let's go" encouragement... as D was saying "no" as he's getting down out of the car.

We'll see what the afternoon brings :)

Prayer time

2011-04-04T21:14:00.000-04:00

So I'll admit that we've never really done prayer time at bed with the kids. Bed time has historically been chaotic and when I was working at an office, rather than my home office, I was rarely home before the kids were in bed.

Since the beginning of the year I started putting the boys to bed with prayer time. Ashley and Amanda soon asked to join in as they were hearing what was going on. So now, nearly every night, we all gather in the boy's room for bedtime prayers.

The kids' prayers have quickly become a lot more grown up and they are getting good at praying in an orderly fashion without being given an order.

Productive... kind of

2011-04-04T21:09:00.000-04:00

We got nearly all the wood chopped and split that was fallen on the property. Dennis and Sam helped a little in the morning and then I conscripted Ashley to finish it off this afternoon.

Honestly, Ashley was the only one who took advantage of the day. Well, the dogs "enjoyed" being tied up outside. Ashley spent the entire day outside with her neighborhood girl friends. They even hung out with her while she was helping me with the wood and were entertained for a while with the log splutter that Ashley was running.

Sam decided to play StarCraft II... and frankly I let him for much of the morning since he hasn't gotten to play in ages. I made him stop at noon and am not sure what he did the rest of the day. I think Sam, Dennis, and Amanda watched movies all afternoon. This is where the trouble ensued...

The chickens are in my workshop which the kids are not allowed to be in... except for the chicks. You can't lock the workshop [yet] though. Well, Dennis decided to go look around and he found the portable DVD players... so he's addicted to that. Mom and I are hiding the DVD players and his bad attitude at dinner and bed time lost him his DSi -- I think both will be gone all week. Can you believe he turned down pepperoni pizza followed by cake & ice cream so he could whine about wanting to watch another movie? Really, we made getting dessert REALLY easy tonight. The rest of us happily indulged.

Ironically after getting himself in trouble for hours yesterday over his bicycle, today he declined to ride it. I think in the morning it was because he didn't feel he deserved it but the afternoon was the movie distraction. Ironically after he was done whining about wanting to watch another move, then he moved on the to bicycle... it was all I could do not to laugh as it was getting close to 7p. I had to put his PJs on him and brush his teeth... his bedtime antics were rather short lived and mild though, still DSi bye bye.

The morning routine should be interesting... I would wager I will end up driving him to school after a timeout.

"Free" day

2011-04-04T08:59:00.000-04:00

I only have one meeting -- I'm on vacation -- , weather is supposed to be fantastic, and I think mom is working from home, No requirements on anyone for the most part so we are going to "work" hard on having fun. Hopefully it'll be good for D to have a nice relaxing day... I know it will be for me... get some wood hauled and split, garden fertilized and tilled, etc.

Chicken

2011-04-03T20:23:00.000-04:00

Dennis seems to like the same kinds of foods I like to cook -- and eat. Earlier this week was Brisket and rolls. Tonight was BBQ chicken thighs and mom grilled potatoes. I didn't make D go out and chase down the chicken, though I think he forgot there is a BBQ outside as he did think it was funny I was going outside to cook it. The local Giant grocery store had chicken thighs onsale for $0.99/lb... I think we need to go get a LOT more tomorrow. I'm pretty sure all the kids would have eaten twice as much... next time we'll need to add rolls and salad.

Afterward Dennis, Ashley, and I decided to make a cake. We totally cheated with a cake mix but I'll survive. The most entertaining part was when I let D turn the mixer on. As I was speaking the words "just a little" he pushed it into a high speed and we all got dusted with cake mix.

The cake was a big hit... Dennis downed his bowl of cake and ice cream before I could finish serving up the other 4 of us. He was very pleased.

Tomorrow he goes to the Doctor to get his MMR immunization. Our Doctor had blood tests run to see what shots he had really had. Apparently one of the "M's" is missing so that will get taken care of. Fortunately D doesn't care at all about shots... does way better than me.

This week he's going to miss most of school. Monday is a day off -- and awesome 78degF weather --, Weds is the trip to Baltimore to see the specialists, and Friday is some minor surgery he needs... he'll get knocked out for that so it'll be interesting to see how he does.

Note to son

2011-04-03T16:15:00.001-04:00

Not sure what you were used to but, as a rule, constantly yelling you want you bicycle while in timeout is not wise. It neither satisfies the timeout or gets the bicycle.

I think we are into age 3... good that Melissa gets to enjoy this one first hand :)

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7

Progress

2011-04-01T20:22:00.000-04:00

Apparently I already had a blog entry called Progress... oh well. Work with Dennis on patience. Today after school he wanted to go bike riding but knows he can't go in the rain even though he says he doesn't care. As soon as the sun came out he was in my office asking. Ashley had a few things to do so he couldn't go outside until she was done. Instead of having a tantrum, as usual, he went and helped her so they could go outside.

Later in the day he came back in and I needed him to wait just a couple of minutes for me to finish with the work I was doing on a door in the house... then go find out where Ashley was to watch him. This time he decided on a tantrum... didn't turn out so well with him. A bit of a battle so he got some discipline and racked up 20minutes on the timeout bench. After he served that I asked him to come over so I could talk to him about apologizing and he refused.... 3 times. When I went to put 10minutes on the clock for his next timeout he suddenly came over... but when I told him to go sit on the bench he said no and refused... 15min... NO... 20min... bottom in seat. We had an uneventful 20minute timeout and when he was done he happily have me a hug and said he was sorry.

Out he went on his bike with Sam for 30minutes before deciding it was too cold.

Right now he's figured out how to use one of the nerf guns in my office. I'm glad he's getting the dexterity to do so... it will be useful in this family, especially when water and hoses are involved :)

Another thing that snuck up on us this week... Dennis has started speaking in actual "sentences". They aren't sentences exactly but it isn't just "mine", "water please", or the one "May I have..." sentence. He's expressing things like "Ashley, Dennis room, Ashley room" to tell us that Ashley is in his room and he wants her out :) Today he had some even more complicated examples but I was too shocked to remember :)

Tomorrow we try to call Ukraine gma and Snezhana... please pray for that to go well.

April Fools

2011-04-01T08:43:00.000-04:00

I don't think Dennis gets it though I'm certain the other kids don't. I think the funniest part of the morning was I didn't have to force Ashley out of bed... apparently the thought of mischief got her going. I caught her putting peanut butter in my sandals, then she and Sam tried to sneak an extra soda while they were getting me one from the basement -- they knew I'd catch on --, and then Sam locked everyone out of the van to taunt them. Dennis tried to pull locking himself out of the boy's bathroom so he didn't have to brush his teeth... that didn't work.

My contribution was with Sam as he came into our bedroom this morning to say hi...
Sam: I didn't see you there (to me under covers)
Me: So today everything we eat is going to be orange
Sam: No, really dad? <pause>
Sam: OH, I know what you are doing. April Fools

Still hanging in there

2011-03-30T08:53:00.000-04:00

We've managed to keep it together again for several days. Yesterday Ashley wasn't in trouble and had all her homework done so Dennis got to spend a lot of time riding his trike. I work from home and typically at least 10hrs a day so I'm working when they get home... mom usually gets home around 4:30p so they have about 1.5hrs under "loose" supervision to get homework done and go play.

The freedom brought out another conflict... I've known Dennis was a little tattle tale and there had been hints of him having problems with others having different restrictions than he does... the latter came out big time yesterday. Ashley is 10yrs old and is allowed a lot more freedom to roam the neighborhood than the other kids. Neighborhood in our case is a community with no fences, lots of families with kids, and houses on 2-3 acre lots. The younger kids are limited to playing in our cul de sac which has only one other driveway in it besides ours and 3 houses including ours.

Ashley was spending time with a friend which of course took her out of the cul de sac. You'd think someone stole is stuffed bear he named after his sister in Ukraine (Snezhana) -- it was the first gift he got when arriving in America as our son. Explaining to him that Ashley is big and he is little wasn't enough for him. We managed to prevent a major blow up but I did catch him following Ashley down the road once. Legally Dennis is 10 and only 8mo younger than Ashley but maturity wise he's very close to Amanda our 7yr old... certainly not up to Sam our 8yr old.

Last night I finally got around to making brisket. It is baked in the oven and makes a nice sauce... it isn't sweet and seemed exactly like the type of food Dennis would like. The rest of the family loves it too (especially me). That turned out to be very true though his face when eating the cooked carrots was priceless. I tried making rolls a second time and that worked out well this time. I wonder how obvious it was during my staff meeting that I was cutting up the last few onions for the first few minutes when I wasn't talking -- if you guys are out in NoVA I'll have to make it for you :) Ashley invited a friend over that she's been inviting to church and AWANAs... I'm so proud of her.

Brisket recipe: http://www.howcast.com/videos/341946-How-To-OvenCook-Beef-Brisket
I love the sauce so definitely boil that down. Takes about 20minutes to prepare, 4hrs to cook, and then 20minutes to boil the sauce down. Next time I'm going to try halving the salt... I love salt but it's a bit much for me.

Dinner rolls: http://www.food.com/recipe/easy-dinner-rolls-40633
My mom gave me her old Kitchen Aid and got me a new mixer blade that scrapes the sides. I'm probably abusing the blade to make bread dough with it but it works great. Takes <10min to prep this, 5min later on to put it into balls to rise, and then 17min to cook -- practically no mess, just 1 counter wipe -- ... I can find that much time between meetings in the day to make fresh rolls for dinner. I may try putting butter on the outside of the dough balls to keep them from sticking together.

This morning Dennis was fine. Pushing little buttons to see if he could get a reaction but didn't actually do anything he wasn't supposed to. e.g. Insisting we go out the front door to the van so he unlocked the door but he went out the garage door like he was supposed to. Ashley was having a rough morning and I think he was pleased to see that big sister gets the same exact consequences he does when her attitude is bad. She ended up getting some correction in the house to help get her on track and then ended up walking to the bus stop while the rest of us were in the warm van -- she refused to get in the van on time. I tried to make it clear to him that Ashley isn't bad but she is having a bad attitude... trying to show with a grumpy face -- no picture, sorry. Dennis was in the car with his seat belt on without being told :) He didn't want to associate himself with Ashley getting on the bus though... refused to hold her hand or let her put her arm around him.

So over all... progress. We'll have some more blow ups but it's ok. We are getting the Family Rules book that was recommended on our adoption facebook group. The school uses a similar system with cards, points, rewards, etc ... so I think it will help reinforce that. Plus the kids are starting to like earning money and this is a good way to get the house cleaner while letting them earn more money... I'm just not sure I can afford it if they actually comply :) Sam said he's saving money for a Nintendo 3DS, even the $0.60/wk ice cream money... he's even figured that once he gets enough he can sell his old DSi to get across the finish line.

Random musings

2011-03-29T08:24:00.000-04:00

So we call Dennis "little D" or "big D"... little D seems more appropriate but he goes back and forth between wanting each.

Sam is being a really big brother... the entire family is better with D in it. I was most worried about Sam though and he's fantastic.

Each of our kids has a plaque in his/her door with something appropriate painted on it and name. Ashley destroyed her's, Amanda has a princess one, and Sam has a dinosaur one. I wanted to see what Dennis would like that would be appropriate and fortunately he hasn't seemed to notice that only Sam has a plaque on their bedroom door. Yesterday I ordered a Lightening McQueen plaque for D... it is coming from the UK so it will take weeks to get here but I think he'll enjoy it.

I am really going to try to get our new family portrait framed and hung this weekend. If D is doing well I'll take him on Saturday.

Phew... made it

2011-03-29T08:17:00.000-04:00

Wasn't sure D has going to be able to hold it together this morning. You could see it in his face that he was having a hard time though he got himself dressed, fed, and ready for school. We were a little extra gentle with how we said things and encouraged him to do things but he complied.

I thought he was going to lose it in the van though. Bus showed up and he didn't want to go. I have no idea why as he loves school. He did have a substitute teacher yesterday and somehow he didn't get his Monday ice cream treat. With a little pushing from Ashley and I he did go.... he didn't want to hold Ashley's hand though.

I have taken note that he refused to eat dinner last night so he went to bed hungry.. that might have something to do with this morning. It wasn't my favorite meal either but in our family you eat what you are given or nothing at all. It was his choice... I ate mine :)

We will see how he does when he gets home from school today. He doesn't seem to understand yet that I have to work so I can't watch him ride his bike outside. This is usually where the hard battles start. He understands he can't bother me when I'm on the phone but he can get impatient with it. When I'm not on the phone I have a stool next to me so he can watch what I'm doing and I often listen to music while working which he enjoys.

Today Ashley has finally finished her punishment and put away her clean clothes... she drags this stuff out for weeks... so once her homework is done she can go watch D on his trike while she rollerblades.

Bounce back

2011-03-27T20:57:00.000-04:00

Dennis had a good weekend. He woke up Saturday happy and silly. "Daddy-style" french toast was a big hit. Daddy style is that mom makes it then we layer with butter and smother in powdered sugar to make a thick paste on top. Mommy thinks that is really weird and you should put maple syrup on them but we had neither syrup or jam... so powdered sugar it was. I think D ate 4... the other kids scarfed them down too... mom had to fight for any at all. Plates were licked clean and D gave a big thumbs up with "SUGAR GOOOD". I'm pleased to have corrupted more french toast eaters.

Afterward we called Snezhana. D didn't want to talk much and based on the previous day's events we didn't want to leave him alone to chat. We couldn't really clearly explain to D why his behavior shouldn't have allowed it so we decided it was best to allow. He was big smiles during the call. Nothing really new on the call. S asked if D was crying cause he was quiet. S said she couldn't find any of the kids D wanted to talk to. S said Ukraine gma cries all the time though we find that doubtful as it seems like S isn't talking to gma much... she still didn't know if gma had gotten our latest package.

Then D went to the eye doctor... he has a laaaaazy eye and is slightly near sighted. Apparently he's going to get glasses to help... not sure that helps with the laaaazy eye though. Melissa also FedEx'd a package to some people going to S' orphanage in the next couple of weeks... shoes, socks, pictures, letter, etc. Since none of the shoes we have sent fit and she also wants deoderant that we've only found in Ukraine and shampoo, we sent some shopping money too that can be used under supervision.

Today we had a Supper's 8 lunch with friends from church and the kids all did well. Then we came home and the kids played in the basement while we worked on stuff and got dinner ready. Melissa and D got to talk to one of Snezhana's friends who was recently adopted. It was really helpful, though as soon as D was asked if he was being a good boy the conversation ended. D put his head in his hands and from then on answered No to anything asked. Still got to work on him differentiating having done something bad and reconciled with being a bad boy. I think the friend is going to call S tomorrow... I know she likes to keep in touch with some of her friends.

D says he's going on the bus to school tomorrow. I'm really hoping it works out that way :)

Sigh

2011-03-25T21:29:00.000-04:00

This week my hound dog realized that if he gets loose that if he runs circles around cars they will stop and can't move. Now one has been daring enough to call his bluff and he can run at like 30mph so even if you get moving there aren't many roads nearby that you can out run him. This morning the kids let him out of my office and then out the door on the way to the bus. Apparently he "got" the bus a ways down the road and held them up for close to 20minutes... and everyone behind the bus. So for now on I'll tie him up outside before the kids head out.

Hard to see the mark. It's mostly in the shiny spot on his forehead with a bump in the hairline in the "shade". Happens to be right about the small scabs from the incident earlier this week.

The books say that kids will often revert to much younger childhood behavior after they are adopted. Let's just say that D hit the terrible 2s this week. He really did it on the natural consequences this morning. He know he wasn't allowed to bring his flashlight to school but apparently snuck it into a pocket. At the bus stop he says "flashlight school" a few times with a smile on his face... ugh, obviously he wanted to get caught... so I find it and put it in my pocket. He then starts running off towards the house, makes it about 10ft, and then face plants on the asphalt. It's a good one this time... nice bump on his forehead and road rash to accompany. When the bus came he didn't want to get one which was ok... between the bump and being mad I figured that would be the case.

I swear the school is going to call CPS or something... second time this week he's come in with road rash on his forehead. Last time was when he fell refusing help getting out of the van at school. And he's been late to school 3 times this week.

This is our timeout bench. Spent a lot of time there today. He doesn't like people to see his face when he is mad. I tried to be a little silly about it to try to get him out of the bad mood. Of course I'm looking at this and wondering when he put on socks that didn't remotely match.

Getting home wasn't any better. He's lost his DSi, glasses, and flashlight now due to bad behavior/attitudes. When he didn't get those back he was besides himself... we actually had a little "battle" going on for about 4hrs. Started with him kicking my office doors repeatedly and refusing to stop. Oh well... he refused to eat dinner but seems better now. He prayed with us, gave hugs, and told everyone -- even me -- he loved them.

His behavior should lose him bike privileges and calling Snezhana tomorrow though Melissa and I need to talk about that since Sunday he won't have the opp so it'll wait until next week... of course if he's been in a bad mood recently I wonder how he'll answer the repeated "Do you like it there? Do they upset you? Do they hurt you? Do they beat you?" questions from S... so maybe a delay is ok.

So if the books are right and this regression to earlier life can take a couple of months... we should be into it 2wks so maybe we only have 6-8wks left :) And 2-4yrs old is the worst. We are hoping we can get someone who speaks Russian to tell him that we love him even when he's misbehaving. That running off or throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants is not ok. That he has to obey with a good attitude to keep his privileges... and he has to earn back what he loses by obeying and keeping a good attitude. I'm pretty sure he gets it but just want to reinforce it to make it crystal clear.

Ghost Blogger ... I mean GUEST Blogger: MOM!

2011-03-24T19:40:00.000-04:00

Our day at the park. Recently I had to take D to get a cavity filled and I want to run into the thrift store near the dentist's office, so between those two activities, we had 45 minutes to burn, so I otp'd for a nearby park. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves!

Enjoy!

Today, yesterday, not enough

2011-03-23T01:53:00.000-04:00

I really missed the kids today. They got off reasonably well to school today but I had to head out to a customer site for work. It ended up being a long day followed by dinner with a colleague who is in town. Then off to home to be the bad guy raining down punishment after bed time for things that could not wait until morning.

I guess that is why they call me dad. blech

What a change 5 minutes makes

2011-03-22T09:12:00.000-04:00

D came home grumpy from school yesterday though it sounds like he did well at school. He kept asking for his DSi and to bicycling. Got grumpy with his siblings and eventually I had to carry him over to the time out bench. I got the "America bad", "Ashley bad", series of stuff then he thought about it and 5minutes later it was "I'm sorry, daddy hug". Back to his normal self and we had an enjoyable rest of the afternoon/evening.

He didn't actually want his DSi back... I think that stems from him seeing himself as bad and undeserving even after reconciling. Later in the evening he did play with it but only on the counter where I had put it when I gave it back to him... he still didn't feel like he could take "ownership" of it.

I do need to get him to understand that I have to work all day so I can't take him bicycling until the evening... sometimes his older sister can but only if she's done with her homework and not in trouble. I'm getting less concerned of him being out there with Sam (who typically is done with his homework and not in trouble) as with the first sign of a car he heads for the side of the road and drives his trike into the ditch... half the time tumbling off of it. It is kind of humorous to watch... I'll have to try to get a video.

He had a good attitude this morning too. Last week he earned $0.60 by being excellent at school... the kids use the $0.60 to buy ice cream but only if they get top marks. Frankly all the kids were in trouble yesterday morning so no one got it. Since they earned it and this morning they were doing well they got it today. They were pleased... of course I suspect everyone in Ukraine probably thinks he's gonna get sick eating ice cream in Winter. Though it's now officially spring and the weather is great :)

Some great snippets

2011-03-21T11:29:00.000-04:00

So we make sure to keep an eye on conversations the kids have. They do great talking but as has happened before, it leads to misunderstandings if we don't know... it's just prudent.

Here are some humorous snippets from last Saturday's conversation.

S: where are you at right now?
D: in America
S: duh..I know you are in America, where are you at? At School?
...
S: do you like teachers?
D: I like mom a lot
S: the one who is in America?
D: yes
S: what about dad?
D: dad? Snezhana?
S: Do I like dad?
D: Yes. I like dad...Does Snezhana like mom?
...
D: Snezhana, dad brought ice cream.
S: ok, Dennis, you can eat it, but not a lot and don't get sick. Got it?
...
S: Dennis, do they upset you there?
D: no
S: for sure?
D: for sure
S: do they beat you?

D: what?
S: do they beat you?
D: no
S: are you sure?
D: yes

This last series of questions has come up before too. Obviously a big concern of someone Snezhana talks too. Dennis got to talk to his former teacher in Ukraine and some friends. Mom is of course really pleased with her comment.

Unfortunately Sunday and this morning we had some difficulties. He's overtly testing his boundaries now. D even missed the bus this morning and had a bit of a natural consequence getting out of the car at school. I had a talk with his teacher and the school nurse (forehead abrasion). This is actually the first time D has been in a bad mood that didn't get resolved before we had to do something. I'm hoping to learn how to say "You need to obey well and have a good attitude to get good things" in Russian... just so it's very clear why he's gotten his DSi taken away and can't ride his bike. He's gotten the "I'm sorry" followed by a hug thing down well.

He has a hard time verbally expressing his frustrations at times so it ends up when he gets really mad which is very infrequent we get "NO", "America bad", "Mama bad", "Daddy bad", "Ashley bad".... you get the idea. Fortunately he hasn't learned the word "hate" yet.

I'm hoping he'll get home today and we'll reconcile and be back on track. He's really an easy little guy to work with.

Tiller

2011-03-19T16:18:00.000-04:00

Friday was 75degF outside so everyone was outside. I used the time to till the garden and Dennis was happy to help. He seemed to enjoy it and we were only interrupted by our crazy hound dog breaking his collar and running off.

This 70lbs dog is insane (Gus)... he bends the strongest tied down I can find until he's able to pull it out of the ground (takes him about 4hrs these days). This time his pulling literally snapped the big buckle on his collar that is only a few months old. He's an angel when he's on his training collar but he manages to slip that from time to time... so I'm getting more creative with that. He's awfully pretty as he's running full speed away from you though :) Dennis helped Ashley and I run the dog down and bring him back.

After that distraction all the kids, except Ashley who was grounded, helped me build a burn pile. Today we finished it up and cut up the branches we are using for firewood next year. In a little bit Melissa should be home, we'll call the county fire control, start the fire, and will roast hot dogs by it of the smaller fire pit once it burns down. The boys helped me run down the hoses, and of course test them on each other. Add a shovel and I think we are all set.

Tomorrow I expect that we'll start collecting the rounds around the property and bring them up to be split. Then follow with some more bike riding.

Today we talked to Snezhana again. Dennis got to talk with her, his old teacher, and several of his friends. I think it is important he be happy here and relay that to the people he knows back there. I know with some kids and relationships it can cause being "home sick" or behavioral problems afterward. Dennis seems too easy going for that and it hasn't caused issues yet. Snezhana did ask him if he'd called his Ukraine gma yet, which he hasn't but we will once we arrange for a translator.... we actually don't really need a translator, just someone to introduce themselves, us, and make sure gma stays "inline" not trying to guilt or otherwise manipulate Dennis. Maybe we can do something for next Saturday.

A BIG praise that the kids and I have been praying about for over a week... Snezhana got our package. This is a first in over 3 months... I kind of wonder if the letter to the director had anything to do with it. The MTC minutes apparently were beneficial... she said "so so" which I'm guessing means she ended up giving them to a friend or using them in a different way... but she did say she'd like more and my commitment was I'd keep sending them as long as she keeps answering the phone.

Snezhana did feel comfortable enough to ask Melissa for some toiletry items and clothes. She seemed a little sad when we started the conversation but was in good spirits after talking with Dennis. We are going to send some stuff we still have for her (like shoes) with the understanding it probably won't work... but we will see if one of the families going in the next month or two can take some money from us and just supervise a brief covert shopping trip.

Hopefully this means Anna got her package this week too. We sent her stationary and are very curious as to whether or not she'll write us.

Drilling

2011-03-17T21:47:00.000-04:00

Dennis did much better this morning. He "woke up" grumpy and didn't want to do anything so I dressed him. It's an interesting story I heard on the radio (Dennis Rainey from FamilyLife??) about him trying to get his kids to put their jackets on in a battle of words and wills. His mother-in-law interceded and just put the jackets on the kids. His comment was "It was that easy?". I try to keep that in mind and it worked well for Dennis.

I got a big hug this morning and he later apologized to me... so he got his DSi back. He actually didn't want it back, I think out of guilt. I think at some point in his life he was told he was a bad boy a lot. He doesn't see himself as a good kid even though he's a great kid. When a Russian speaking friend of my wife's asked him if he was a good boy he said no. When she asked why, he couldn't think of what he was being bad so he eventually decided he was a good boy. We'll have to work on that.

So on drilling... he got his cavity filled today and he did great, I am told. Unfortunately he was told he couldn't eat food for 4hrs until the Novocaine wore off... so he missed out on chicken at McD's. Mom did buy him (and me) a Shamrock shake so it wasn't a complete loss. Mom had a chipped tooth that got filled too.

Question for all of you with eastern European adopted kids or who are from eastern Europe. Is chicken a very popular food? Dennis LOVES chicken and tomato based pasta dishes though he begs for chicken all the time. He's even asked me to get in the car so we can go get chicken. In Ukraine we had a lot of food I liked... most was either fish or pork though. Honestly the chicken stuff we had was pretty nasty.

It also took Dennis quite a while to get over a fear of cheese. Frankly I totally understand that... the cheese in Ukraine was awful. It is more like plain curd in the US... which is ok on crackers sometimes but is not cheese. I'm sure in many of the living conditions in Ukraine dairy products were not a good thing. He had a problem getting over milk too but he's pretty good with it now. In the "American" restaurants you might get a Kraft single on your burger if you were lucky -- just a note for my mid-west friends, Kraft American cheese is NOT cheese, get yourself some Tillamook cheddar.

This afternoon my boss missed our 1:1 or I decided that was a sign that I should end my day early (9.5hrs). The weather is awesome. We road bikes, played ball, and spent a large amount of time chasing Gus who got out of the house twice. I'm still amazed at how well Dennis is doing on his trike.

P.S. For my employees in North America, you don't know it yet but I'm letting you go at noon tomorrow. The weather is just to nice to work tomorrow afternoon. Things are too tight to do much else but I can at least show my appreciate for all the hard work and dedication by trying to force you to take some time to enjoy the outside and an extended weekend with this fantastic weather.

First school field trip

2011-03-16T19:05:00.000-04:00

Today was the 2nd grade class outing to the Winchester Childrens' Discovery Center. I took today off (first in a LONG time) and was a chaperone. We had fun, it's a tiny little hole in the wall childrens' center but it is cheap and they make good use of the space. I was surprised to find a climbing wall and my group wanted to spend half their time there.

This is cool.

Let's try this again using the holds dad recommend.

Not pretty but it works.

A random unicorn painted on the wall across from the climbing wall that he insisted on getting his picture with.

Now these last two I just have to laugh at. Yes, these are real and the right orientation. He is hanging upside down off an over hang. Then when he gets comfortable he starts deciding he can reach his legs over his arms just cause he can.

Even those of you following this blog may have missed or not remembered one of our first conversations with the orphanage Director. She was very nice to us but she described Dennis as an "invalid". Now that could have been lost in translation somewhere but it irked me instantly. So much was going on otherwise that little bit was lost in the noise. But seeing this just immediately brought me back to that moment and I so wanted to exclaim "SO THERE!!".

I checked him out of school early when we got back. I got a chuckle of of that too... they list a reason and those before me listed "Doctor", "Appointment", "Sick", etc... I put "FUN". We went over to the local pizza/sub/etc place and had drinks and crab fries. My phone wasn't working or I'd have a picture... I liked it and Dennis was ok but eventually tired of it.

It was a long tiring day and he started getting grumpy and acting up. He stayed home from AWANAs tonight and is bed.

Work day photos

2011-03-13T20:10:00.000-04:00

To make up for the lack of pictures, after biking today we decided to go do some poses to show off our work.

I mentioned in an earlier blog about the first crocus of the year. Figured I'd get a picture. I must say that a crocus is very underwhelming... can't imagine planting enough of these to look like anything.

This is the crape myrtle that Ashley and I grew from a twig. We are going to pour a cement step out the side of the house there. Dennis is showing off one of the shovels. The kids actually filled in some holes behind him while I planted this one.

This is one of the new blueberry bushes. There was a blueberry bush last year but this winter the deer chewed it up. I didn't want the kids stepping on the bulbs coming up in this area so I took a boring picture without kids.

This is the smallest of the 3 main branches off the slowing dying tree behind the kids. This opens up a pine tree behind it to more light.

Shot of the same branch from the other side. There are two other really small trees lying around too that I also cleared.

Dennis is really proud of this one and he should be. He worked and fell hard to get there in. To the right is a new blueberry bush that should mature in spring and right behind him is the chewed up one mentioned before that we transplanted here to see if it would make it.

Another good once Dennis helped with. This is one of the trees Ashley and I grew from a twig. Taken care here that Dennis doesn't get excited, lose balance and fall on the tree.

Sam helped me with this hard task. This pine tree got overgrown with vines coming off other tree over taken by vines. We cleared out everything effecting it and pulled off as many vines as we could. You can see Sam and Amanda playing with the beach ball they found when picking up trash. We are going to have a lot of brush/branches to burn.

The 3 youngest kids showing off their muscles. Dennis would have tried to carry that log up to the house if I had let him. This is a dead tree that finally fell this winter. I don't know what kind of wood this thing is but it is hard as a rock. I had to sharpen the chain 3 times just to get this thing into a dozen pieces and it isn't very big around.

Decided to take a detour to the tiny creek at the edge of our property. It is overgrown with brush during the summer so he hadn't seen it before. Dennis is demonstrating how he loses balance if he gets too excited.

Just cause... Dennis didn't want any more pictures of the water but insisted I take this picture. That is actually our neighbors house. Our house is actually well over the ridge behind the trees on the left of this picture.

Another tree Ashley and I grew from a twig. At this point Dennis didn't want to pose with any small trees.

They all decided this little pine tree that the winds/ice destroyed that I had to cut down was worth posing in front of. It will make for a few small logs in the fire but mostly nice fuel for the burn pile.

Lastly, the wood shed. You'll note we are down to our last dry row... fortunately the weather looks like we won't need it. We burned about 2-3x the shed full this year. It's hard to tell from the picture but it slopes back pretty good. The kids carry the wood into the lawn tractor/trailer parked about where I'm standing. We'll take advantage of the next few months splitting the wood around the property and seeing how far we can get in filling it back up.

That's about it. Dennis is doing great. Mom made his favorite food tonight CHICKEN. He ain't more than anyone else including me. We did seem to find his limit in ice cream. We try to have ice cream or some sort of dessert available every night for the kids who eat everything. He certainly could use to gain 10lbs... and that cavity the dentist found, he brought that with him from Ukraine -- I need to schedule an appointment for him. Though thinking back on it... all the candy we sent him in packages coupled with poor dental hygiene might have had something to do with it.

This evening riding bikes... Amanda was showing off how she can ride her bike full speed and pedaling hard down the driveway. She's is going to really wreck bad one of these days... but she's so pleased with gma and gpa showing her how :) Dennis was showing me how he can ride his trike with no hands. That may not sound like anything but it's pretty impressive... when he left this summer for Ukraine he was still having trouble keeping the trike straight and tended to turn the big side-to-side as he pedaled. Having enough strength to pedal and keep the trike going straight without the help of his hands is huge. He's of course has gotten spinning around and riding down the driveway on the trike down too. His running is doing a lot better too... once we get running down we will try him on Sam's old bike with training wheels.

Work day

2011-03-13T09:14:00.000-04:00

I'm sad to say I didn't get any pictures cause I was too dirty to use a camera. Ashley and I raise little "trees" from Arbor day... I use the term tree loosely since they come as 12" long twigs and with my black thumb maybe 1/3 of them live. We had a crape myrtle and some other trees that are 3 years old and in need of transplanting. We also had two new blueberry bushes to plant. Dennis was quite excited to help with this.

We soon realized he doesn't have the muscles yet to be able to dig a hole but that didn't prevent him from trying. We both got a good chuckle with him tumbling off the shovel... along with a few whacks with the shovel on me. There were a couple of shovel fulls with me holding the shovel and him trying to jump on it. In the end we transplanted 4 trees and planted the two new bushes. The crape myrtle replaced a small dead pine tree by the house and will look nice. Dennis is scared of worms... in a silly scared way. I threw one at him at which he let out a short yelp and rolled to the ground... soon turning to laughter.

During this Sam and Ashley decided they would earn money by picking up trash that had blown around. I had to declare foul when they decided they would just pick up stuff from the trash dump along the creek. Not that it was a bad thing but there is too much back there to get hurt on and the little dog keeps coming back with ticks from there. The got lots of trash, 3 crutches, and a beach ball that is in still good condition.

After planting Dennis decided he wasn't interested in hanging around while I use the chainsaw. Probably a good idea as I didn't want to have to keep an eye on him with me with a chainsaw and parts of trees falling from the sky. He, Sam, and Ashley rode bikes. His legs are getting so strong and I've noticed his gate when running is improving significantly.

Later they went inside and Sam helped me finish off cutting wood. There were some big branches from dying trees I wanted to clear to give more sun to the trees behind them; several small trees that the winds/ice destroyed beyond recovery; a nice pine tree that the vines were killing that we cleaned up; and a fallen dead tree we cut up for firewood. Still lots to do...

Registered

2011-03-12T12:31:00.000-05:00

Got Dennis passport back today from the Ukraine embassy. It came with a letter, in English, reminding us of when we have to do post-placement reports. I was less than impressed by the "seal" in the passport... just a blue stamp in Russian that is signed. Now to store it away never to be used again.

Next thing I'm waiting for is his SSN so I can open up a joint savings account like I have with the rest of the kids.

Who is the whimp?

2011-03-12T10:41:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I took Dennis to the doctor and then to get blood drawn. He did great and we had a good time... I was very disappointed they were out of Shamrock shakes at McD's though.

So we are at the lab to get blood drawn. Now I have to lay down if I'm getting blood drawn or more than 3 shots... it's weird but if I don't I get queasy, if I lay down I can get up immediately after and am fine. I figured with Dennis on my lap I'd certainly have no issues cause it wasn't happening to me. Well, I was wrong. Dennis was perfect, didn't squirm, looked right at it, smiled the entire time... me... I was barely making it after the 3rd vial. I had to lay on the floor afterward and was still pale hours later.

Oh well... so mom gets to go for the blood draws from now on :)

In the car he was practicing his directional skills. He wanted to understand where the school, home, mom's work, etc were in relation to where ever we were. He did pretty good. Started practicing left and right too... he didn't get directions in Russian so I hadn't been pushing it... on step at a time. But he's absorbing stuff quickly.

Yea, it works

2011-03-12T10:36:00.000-05:00

Using the new phone number we were able to get ahold of Snezhana again after 3wks of trying (thank you so much Julie). The new number is MTC but I think it is a monthly instead of a pre-paid plan, I SMS'd her a MTC card number to see if it works -- I guess we'll have to find out later. We actually ended up calling her twice since some little fingers found the power button to the UPS in the middle of our conversation. We caught her washing her clothes... second time that has happened.

I let Dennis be alone in the room to talk to Snezhana for the first call... he was all smiles when I looked in on him. He talked more than normal... I think he's been taught to be quiet when adults are in the room. S told us thank you for the photos and letter on behalf of her grandma. She gave us her grandma's phone number and asked us to call her some time. We told her we would when we could have a translator on the phone. So we need to work on that but that was good.

At the beginning of the second call Dennis started crying. S didn't say anything to cause it. I think just 3wks without talking to and missing his sister suddenly overwhelmed him. He wouldn't talk so Melissa and I did. We let her know he was crying cause he was missing her but asked her to remind him she was coming for summer. It didn't console him but I did find it good that he wanted to be with me rather than pulling away.

This week we sent out letters and photos Dennis' Ukraine gma and the orphanage director. Kind of hoping that if someone is filtering out Snezhana's packages at the orphanage maybe a letter might help... but the letter only mentioned hoping that this makes it to her cause Snezhana's packages don't seem to be making it to her. We also sent packages to Snezhana and Anna. This time we used USPS Priority for everything which was $10 more expensive per letter but only $1 more for the packages to the girls. If things go well with gma we might consider using gma as a mechanism to get packages to Snezhana but that is getting a little ahead of ourselves.

Happy

2011-03-10T08:12:00.001-05:00

Dennis was so happy about everything last night. He came back from Awana's last night really pleased... everything was good. House, dog, school, siblings, mama/papa (ahhhh), sister coming to America, America, everything... then he didn't want a goodnight hug but I decided he didn't get a choice :)

He's also pleased as punch -- and so am I -- that he's figured out the concept of "tomorrow" and how to use it ("School Tomorrow"). We are also pretty good going from "Water please" to "May I have water please"... not that if you didn't know what to expect you'd understand it but I'm ok with that.

Rosetta Stone will start next month.

Hard worker

2011-03-08T20:02:00.000-05:00

So Dennis today insisted on being a big helper. I'm pretty amazed what he can do and has no fear of doing given how unstable he can be physically.

Helped empty the trash cans in the house and carry down the trash cans to the end of the driveway. He took the recycling can since it is only 55 gallons instead of 90. It only ran him over once and he got out of the way without falling. I was surprised.

He wanted to help me climb up the ladder and clear out the drain. I had to draw the line there but he watched as I pulled out an old nasty tennis ball.

He steered the tractor down to the wood shed for us to get another load of wood. This is more an exercise in being aware of his surroundings. When he tried this while he was here last summer he didn't seem to get the concept that he needed to decide where to take us and that it shouldn't be a tree.

The most impressive is that he loves to help load up the wood into the trailer. Today he was counting... one, two, three... pieces of wood and carrying them to the trailer. Frankly if I had the stability problems walking I'd probably be scared in the dark shed, walking on an incline, with things that are going to hurt whether I fall on them or them on me... or some combination.

He also insisted on carrying the full water tanks for the humidifier across the house. They probably weigh over 35lbs. That was a bit harder and we had a few trips but he did it. Sam was kind enough to get a towel and wipe up the little water that spilled.

This weekend we are going to aerate the yard with the tractor and I think I'm going to enlist all the kids to build a burn pile.... probably with the branches of two trees I need to fell and a half dozen little trees that need to go. Don't worry... we belong to the Arbor Day foundation and we plant a bunch of trees each year (just don't tell my HOA).

A desk, a phrase, and laziness

2011-03-08T08:01:00.001-05:00

I wasn't going to write today but Dennis just made me laugh this morning... but I'll get to that.

This weekend was a bit rough... had some hard disciplining to do, of course with Melissa at a birthday party with Amanda. We actually chatting on the phone about it just to make sure we were on the same page. The positive thing is that Dennis didn't just clam up and go into his shell like he does. He was mildly more verbal and physical but it was good... and it was over faster than when he crawls into his shell. We've been practicing him having to say I'm sorry and followed by a hug when he wants to reconcile... this time Ashley even role played with me for him just to remind him. Eventually I got a "papa hug, papa hug" with an I'm sorry and hug.

Sam sitting at their new desk.

Yesterday with Sam home "sick" with pink eye, we picked up the desk at Walmart we had ordered. It's cheap but a pretty good deal with the chair, lamp, and desk. The desk tilts which the physical therapist suggested might be good for Dennis' drawing... of course as many complained, the bolts pushed through the plastic clamps so now it is flat. Nothing that a bi-metal drill won't fix though. Sam helped me put it together... he loved that. Dennis mostly watched and didn't want to help but at the end he started taking stuff out of the packaging for us which was helpful.

This brought about something interesting I noticed... I'm not sure Dennis comprehends sharing. This desk is for him and Sam... but he insisted it was only for Sam. Looking back on his interactions with toys, he may think it is either mine or not mine. Anyways, something to watch out for.

So the reason for the plug... I'm sure there is great suspense. We were headed out to the car and I told Dennis it was cold and he needed a jacket. He said no. It was in the 20s outside so I figured natural consequences weren't such a good idea with him this time even though he has 2-3 layers of clothes on already. I threw him a jacket which he accepted but wouldn't put on. He doesn't get 3 steps out the door into the garage and exclaims "COLD... HOLY MOLEY". Of course being right and reinforcing he needs to listen was good here... but I had a good chuckle after a double take realizing what he said and it had to have been picked up at school.

I'll end with my favorite part of the new Van... ok, doesn't anyone else have the tendency to capitalize Van... I think I'm dating myself (Vans). So the van... I take the kids to the bus stop on cold days in the van. I work from home so I get the kids ready in the morning and am still in my pajamas (as I am for much of the day). I'm too lazy to get socks on (notice the lazy trend here?) so even in 20degree weather I'll be wearing sandals. The floor heating in the van is fantastic... keeps the entire van warm and blows right on my feet.

That's it for now... this week we will have an experiment on how pink eye travels in the family when it starts with Sam.

Old pictures

2011-03-05T12:30:00.000-05:00

We were blessed today with some old pictures of Snezhana and Dennis. Folks who adopt know that old pictures can be really hard to come by. We even took pictures of pictures at the orphanage when we could.

Dennis looks a lot like his brother Yaroslav in this one. (Feb 2009)

I believe the backdrop is a Ukraine Olympic committee banner. (Sept 2009)

This is a picture I don't think we've ever seen before. (Feb 2010)

"Normal" life

2011-03-05T08:27:00.000-05:00

Right now two families who adopted from Dennis' orphanage should be on planes on the way home. That's pretty exciting and Dennis has been praying for them for weeks. Looking forward to showing him pictures of the kids he knows with families in America.

We had a little "incident" with one of the kids and Dennis' DSi this morning. It was good to see them work to repair that relationship. The DSi itself is fine so all will be well in the world :)

Today we tried to call S, no answer. We'll try again tomorrow after church. If that fails we'll see if we can get a translator to call the school with us next week and talk with her. That way we can find out if she's getting any of our packages, if there is a better way for us to get ahold of her, or what not. Dennis will be at school though. We actually told her how to SMS us before we left so maybe she can SMS us on the weekends when it is a good time to talk.

We are going to write letters to all the kids, Ukraine gma, and I think we may send an update to the director of the orphanage. Melissa is back to work so we are fully in the daily grind of life... with things settled it's time to catch up from what has happened and prepare for summer hosting too. No rest... but we are good with that :)

Great time of the year

2011-02-28T09:17:00.001-05:00

I like cold weather but I also love green. In California it is green in the winter and dead in the summer.. in Virginia it is the opposite. If I ever win the lottery I'm going to have to get a place to live on both coasts. Things are warming up very quickly here and today we are supposed to get some huge thunderstorms... I love thunderstorms and it is really early.... 70degF. Sorry to rub it in for those in Ukraine right now but what you are doing is WELL worth it!!

The bulbs are sprouting, the buds on the trees are just starting to open, the grass is looking a tad bit green, birds are coming back, and it is still generally in the 50s. It is time to think about the garden, fertilizing, landscaping, and that chicken coop I've been wanting to build. Of course figuring out the budget for it, hosting, and an adoption trip is another story.

Today is Melissa's first day at work for 3months. I must say she's been living it up sleeping in, facebooking, etc... but no one is happier for her to be going back to work than she is. I do have the house to myself again when I'm working which is nice too :) Melissa's work was very generous in letting her be gone... they are a small company so they don't have to do FMLA but they have a policy they updated to include adoption for her which is close. The one kicker is that she had to decide up front exactly how much to take so with all the uncertainties she had no choice to pick the full 12wks. She would have preferred to have headed back 2-3wks ago... and of course since it was contiguous time there wasn't an option to come back for the wait and work a week.

So this is generally a blog about Dennis... this weekend Sam and Ashley had "assignments" that they were procrastinating on so they didn't get to do much outside church and a party we had at our house Saturday evening. On Saturday we went to a car dealer to look at a van... which of course turned in a trip to McD's. The dealer was lame, won't go there again, but Dennis and Amanda did great.

On Sunday we had church, tried to call Snezhana again (no go, phone off, though we did hear she was very friendly and happy with a friend of ours on Saturday), and then Dennis and Amanda headed with me to the other car dealer. First was a great surprise that the vehicle actually did have cruise control which everyone said it did not and was my one negative about it. The dealer didn't jerk me around, gave me a good deal, so a few hours later we had a new car. Dennis did have a little I'm angry pout session. I asked him if he wanted to bring his DSi into the dealership but he repeatedly said no so we left it. After his balloon pop'd he wanted his DSi which of course we weren't going to do so at that point he pout'd until we left an hour or so later. Meanwhile the loan officer has a 17mo girl and 2 kids on the way... Amanda decided he was great fun along with his motorcycle gear.

Afterward we decided to go with the family in the new car to a new Mexican restaurant we really like. The kids hadn't had fried ice cream before and theirs was REALLY good.

So we have a big ole 2009 Ford E-350 12 passenger van that gets 13mpg... the kids love it. Dennis came in excited about the BBIIIIGGG car. With 4 kids that is almost a bench each. We had to replace the mini-van which was dying and with hosting 2 teenagers this summer and a possible chaperone that exceeded any possibility of fitting everyone in one care. Last summer when it was just us and Dennis/Snezhana we could squeeze into the mini-van and when we had someone else we just had to take 2 cars everywhere. Anyways, it'll be nice and when it is just the 6 of us I'll probably remove the back seat for the cargo space. Though this means that Melissa is driving my RX-8 to work (RIP)... which means we will probably break even gas wise over all since the RX-8 got better gas mileage than the mini-van and the van won't get driven as much.

Ouwies

2011-02-26T09:11:00.000-05:00

So last week Dennis had his war with the trike and the hill... this week he and Ashley both ended up with infections. Ashley's outer ear is all swollen and draining... Dennis, well he has a bad rash. I think for D it must be not being used to having showers and clean clothes every day :) Either way both kids made a trip to the doctor on Friday.

We've gone two weeks now being unable to get a hold of Snezhana. Last week I figured she was busy with the upcoming holiday. I know she's using her phone so it's just off a lot. Disappointing, even more so for Dennis who has gotten used to the Russian automatic response when the phone is off... you could see his frustration when it came on. Oh well... nothing we can do and we'll try again after church tomorrow.

Snezhana should get a package from us hand delivered this week. We've been blessed by so many people going to that orphanage being willing to take stuff since no other method is successful these days... it's also nice to see so many kids being adopted.

We will be sending our first package and letter to the other girl we are hosting this summer... sent in our rehost application and first payment. Dennis and Amanda are going with me to look at a 12 passenger van today... preparing for summer hosting and fitting 8+ comfortably with luggage. They'll be excited... then back home for a party this afternoon with 20ish folks from church that we are hosting (borscht, varenyky). Looking forward to this weekend.

About time to start working on another letter/pictures to Dennis' Ukrainian gma.

Progress

2011-02-23T08:50:00.000-05:00

We are all amazed at how well Dennis is picking up on stuff. Keep in mind he was in 3rd grade in Ukraine but couldn't count past 3, didn't know his alphabet, and got his colors mixed up. There are a lots of interesting twists we find in communication/learning with him not being able to read -- I previously noted about the Russian translator program for the Android which will speak the Russian translation, that is still helpful daily. He's now only really been in school (public school) 2wks.

Yesterday, Dennis started naming off all the English words he knows and Ashley wrote them on our white board. We couldn't fit them all... and I was surprised at how much he's picked up. The teachers haven't even started him on vocabulary yet. This week he started trying to communicate back more rather than just responding with yes/no all the time. I also started to get him working on complete sentences for the basics... "May I have water please" instead of "Water please".

Last night a friend came over for borscht (see other post) and was impressed by how well he's progressing on his English. She had him count and he made it to 15 without a hiccup... the best he'd done for me was 12 so I was doubly impressed. He still struggles with his colors and his first answer is often wrong (blue or pink nearly always)... but if you sit there and make him think he tends to get it right for red, yellow, and blue which were last week's focus colors.

It is really good to see him progressing so well... we had thought that most of his issue was opportunity and people working with him. We are very glad this is proving out correct.

Melissa got an appointment in early April with a team of specialists in Baltimore. They'll bring in a Russian translator and do a full evaluation of his issues... it'll be nice cause we currently have to balance between what we do and do not believe from the cursory evaluations in Ukraine as well as some stuff that is in English and what we can make out of it being in Russian.

Speaking of medical, Melissa had a "nice" conversation with BCBS insurance last night as they sent us a letter saying that Dennis would not be covered for pre-existing conditions for a year. Of course my first thought was to think "fine, he's never been seen by anyone that the US considers an accredited doctor so he has no diagnosed pre-existing conditions"... anyone who works with me long enough knows that is one of my methods in avoiding time wasting obstacles in the [often] giant bureaucracy I work at. I was pretty sure their assertion was bogus and sure enough we found the 1996 act which confirms adoptions, just like births, are exempt from the pre-existing exclusion if added to the policy within 30days. The funny part was I also found the same reference to the act on their own website. They of course didn't admit they messed up and acted like they were doing us a favor when they manually changed the record to make an "exception" for him.

Borscht

2011-02-23T08:24:00.003-05:00

When we hosted last summer we had a chaperone stay who makes great borscht. Snezhana helped her cook and I watched just cause it was neat watching S cook (she was pretty excited with helping) and I learn by seeing. I really liked it and enjoyed the borscht I had in Ukraine though it honestly wasn't as good.

The chaperone had given us the recipe and I decided that I would try it last night. Dennis loved it... he was smiles the entire time eating it. So despite my other 3 kids not being too happy with it, all but one tried it... but I figure if Dennis liked it I must have done alright. Our guest took some home and my wife & I liked it... my wife actually asked me to make it Saturday for our party (supper 8 with folks from church). I'm going to make some varenyky which Dennis definitely likes from looking at pictures... probably with potatoes.

Anyways, the recipe I got had a few holes in it so I figured I'd post what I actually did since it wasn't a disaster. It took 3hrs to make though 2hrs of that was just having the pork boil in water. Many of you reading the blog have kids from eastern Europe and might enjoy it also. We served with garlic rolls which I admit I cheated and bought from the store... I'll make fresh ones when I actually don't have to work the day I make it :)

2lbs pork (thick sliced boneless or pork chops with bone)
8-10 potatoes
1 28oz can of crushed tomatoes
2 14.5oz cans of sliced beets
1 yellow onion
2 large carrots
half sweet red pepper
half head of green cabbage
fresh dill (or dried if fresh unavailable)
sour cream

Place pork in 8qt pot and fill slightly over half way with water. Bring water to boil and then let simmer for 2hrs.

Cube potatoes and place in pan with water and pork. Add salt.

Thinly slice onion and cook until golden in a 2qt pot or very large pan with a small amount of vegetable oil. Once golden add thinly sliced carrots and red pepper.

When the carrots and pepper are cooked, thinly slice the beets, and add the beets and tomatoes. Cook 10min while periodically stirring.

Add vegetable/tomato mixture to the pork/water. Chop the cabbage and add that with the dill and some black pepper. Cook 10min or until boiling while periodically stirring. Verify the potatoes are properly cooked before serving.

Serve in bowls with sour cream.

NOTE: Our Ukrainian host girls wanted to dice everything instead of slice which made a more consistent soup. In having spend nearly 2mo in Ukraine and ordering borscht every where I went, I've never seen it diced... but it is a variation if you want to try it.

Bill 7496

2011-02-23T08:14:00.000-05:00

So my primary contact hadn't heard of the bill but reiterated an expectation that Ukraine will go Hague sooner than later. The bill doesn't seem to mention "Hague" explicitly but the title to describe what it is preparing for is exactly the same as the Hague convention title. The Bill and comments seem to make little fanfare about what it is doing. Oddly the Bill reduced my concern since it paves the way to put in place an intercountry agreement that the US is already party to. Will just be praying that they can do a nice smooth transition if it happens.

Anyways, we start our second dossier in April with an updated home study. I noted the I-800a requirements are nearly identical as the I-600a. In our case our home study agency is Hague accredited and actually does mostly Hague home studies... since California is the only state that we lived in >5yrs ago and they don't do the background checks (some states don't) the main thing we'd have to change is to attend the 8hrs of training. We are going to talk to them about making sure we do anything extra we can do to make a conversion to a Hague home study be quick.

We also already use an adoption agency on the US side who does adoptions from Hague convention countries... so we should be reasonably ok there. Basically we are making sure we understand what a conversion means as best as possible to be prepared but not sweating it... the timing and outcome isn't ours anyways.

(no subject)

2011-02-21T20:25:00.003-05:00

Blogs need to have untitled comments to be posted to them. Still no vote scheduled on 4313 through March 18th.

Dennis vs the trike

2011-02-18T20:47:00.001-05:00

So today was great weather... I was out in my shorts and a t-shirt while I could sneak time between meetings. Dennis went out with Ashley and road bikes. Dennis has this big boy trike from summer that he loves. He's SO much stronger now with his legs, having no issue starting himself with the pedals, steering more smoothly, and just moving faster. He went out of our cul de sac and when he was called back he decided to stand up and turn his trike around while straddling it. He fell... which he does a lot but this time he was of course standing next to the steepest embankment in the neighborhood. The neighbor actually ties a rope to the lawn mower and lowers it down.

So Dennis and the trike go tumbling down and he catches a rock in the eye at the bottom. He's gonna have a good shiner tomorrow.

Dennis doesn't handle real hurt like this well. The normal simple spills, needles at the doctor, etc are no issue at all. I'm not sure how that behavior developed in Ukraine. So Ashley helps him out of the gully and starts taking care of him. Then he starts running to the other side of the cul de sac and part way up a driveway... no idea at all why, it is the neighbor's house. When Ashley catches up to him and tells him to sit he falls on his back against the hill (intentionally) and then starts crying and refusing to be consoled. At this point Ashley is trying to give him an ice pack and starts crying herself cause he won't let her help. Through the tears she's trying to tell me it is the trike of death and needs to be destroyed... I'm quite sure he'll be back on it tomorrow.

When he cries like this it is kind of like when he's mad. He doesn't want to be bothered or helped, he'll cover his eyes for hours, and just curl up into a ball. I held him for quite some time but he wouldn't eat and I had to force feed him some medicine, water, and to use an ice pack.

This picture was actually after I got him to open up for a little while and his eye looks better than it is. I tossed him in the shower and then jumped in to help him wash up. After a while he found that amusing -- I'm sure me tickling him had something to do with it too. He ended up back upset later after saying good night to mom... I'm sure he'll be fine by morning but will just look half raccoon.

The rest of this week was uneventful. He can count to twelve... keep in mind he couldn't count past three in Russian. He's starting to get the hang of red ("vred"), yellow ("chellow"), and blue which was the goal for the week. I had been concerned he was red/green color blind as he wasn't very good at colors in Russian and in English everything was blue or pink... but I tested him with one of the online things and he was quick to point everything out. Now that he's actually getting the colors we should be good. I suspect some of this is that he's never been asked to learn before so it's taking him a while to understand how to learn, pay attention, and people will actually keep on him to tackle it.

Family Announcement

2011-02-16T09:08:00.001-05:00

Figured most of you probably haven't seen a picture of the family. We had family portraits done and Melissa did a great job of getting these made.

New favorite holiday

2011-02-14T17:19:00.000-05:00

Dennis came off the bus even happier than normal shouting VALENTINES. Apparently getting cards and candy from classmates and pretty girls is quite the holiday. He's been very pleased all afternoon talking about his valentines and wanting to show mom and dad over and over.

CoC Arrived

2011-02-14T12:43:00.001-05:00

Dennis' Certificate of Citizenship arrived today. That's really cool... I'll have to show him and try to explain today when he gets home. Good timing as I was wanting to register him with the Ukraine Consulate but really wanted proof he "belonged" in the US before we did so. I do find it funny the document says it can't be copy, printed, or photographed.

So 3 kids Dennis knows are being adopted right now. We enjoy looking at their pictures, naming them (and whoever else is in them) and then praying for them at bed time. He's really excited about it.

Another funny thing is our ginormous 80lbs hound/boxer (Gus) and Dennis get along great. Keep in mind Gus weighs 35lbs more than Dennis does. Gus likes to curl up at the foot of his bed... maybe it's cause Dennis doesn't wiggle, is small so there is lots of bed left, and Dennis likes to keep his heated mattress pad really warm. This morning I found Dennis awake and laying on Gus with his arms around him smiling.

We had our IEP kick-off meeting at the school today. He's able to carry his own lunch tray and apparently everyone in class wants to help him... so much so the teacher has to make them take turns :) His teacher said he's doing really well. There will be a lot of testing going on and it'll be interesting to find out what reality is with him medically since the stuff in Ukraine really wasn't detailed.

Valentines

2011-02-12T22:20:00.000-05:00

My wife and I had one of the few date nights in 8 months. We went to see Harry Potter at the cheap theatre and then to a nice local Mexican restaurant I've been wanting to try. I really liked the restaurant (two good Mexican places in the east coast so far) and the movie was ok... probably the worst one in the series so far but it wasn't painful to watch. The company wasn't bad either ;)

With hosting, paperwork, planning, calls to the kids, weekly packages, saving money, and actually adopting there haven't been many opportunities though a friend of ours has been gracious to offer to help. Tonight we had a babysitter that Dennis knows from summer swim lessons. She paid special attention with him this summer and he really likes her. When we said she was coming he made swimming motions and repeated her names... *very* happy and remembered her after 8mo. Sounds like they all did well and the kids managed to convince her bed time was 9p :) Apparently Dennis "went to bed" with a play phone and pretended to talk to me on it for quite some time to the annoyance of Sam. When he heard me come home I heard him talking REALLY loud to me but still pretending to use the phone.

Dennis has gotten a kick out of the picture of Amanda and me from our Father/Daughter dance on Friday night. My oldest daughter decided it was "EWWW" so didn't come. Dennis keeps talking about daddy dancing. He made mention of daddy and mommy dancing when we talked about us going out. "Dancing" with a 7yr old is pretty much all I've got in that arena. Dennis is going to LOVE father/son camping in May.

Otherwise today, the boys and I went shopping and got mom two bouquets of flowers for Valentines. We called S and she spoke mostly in English with minor chit chat. She told us she is coming for summer hosting... which we of course knew but we liked hearing it from her and wanted her to tell Dennis. He was quite happy and so are we.

Summer Hosting

2011-02-08T20:49:00.000-05:00

Those of you that have been reading this a while will know that summer hosting has been a topic with some consternation. This is because we have choices but in the end the outcome is mostly out of our control. I've gotten really used to having no control and completely relying on God the last few months... obviously one of the lessons I was supposed to exercise through all of this. My wife could go into my "evil plans" that I'm always hatching and that I like to be in control... so let's just say I'm sure I need some practice.

Anyways, no surprise... we want Snezhana to change her mind and come be our daughter. After she said no, she and the Director gave the "host me again" line. At the time it was a tough topic for us with a lot of hurt but we did decide we needed to even if just for the sake of Dennis. When Melissa left the orphanage for the last time with Dennis, Snezhana did say wholeheartedly that she wanted to go for summer hosting but then 4 days later she said she did not with the same "brainwashed" words she SMS'd us about Dennis the day Melissa picked him up ("No want to go to America"). So we've been praying a lot over her and Dennis has been excited to do so also... he smiles so big as he lays there when we get to pray for the people on his list -- which he adds to nightly and tonight we added Ksenia.

Soon after Snezhana said no, we found out about another young teenage girl and both Melissa and I were drawn to her. Ironically Melissa got to meet her in Ukraine the same night Snezhana said she didn't want to be hosted for the summer. We had actually already been talking... do we want to adopt two teenagers, what if, what if, what if...

At this point I'd learned the lesson well that God has been teaching me... we both desire to grow our family through adoption, know that God instructs us to take care of orphans, have adoption mirrored in our salvation, are able to adopt, and this girl is placed in our path who we are both drawn to... so basically keep moving forward until all the doors are closed or we cross the goal line. So it was pretty easy for me to decide to just move forward and let God work out the details... Melissa followed shortly after. We actually had this topic come up in our Sunday school class but I was a bit too choked up just asking to pray about Snezhana's hosting decision on Monday to speak up in class.

... so back to the other girl. She got along great with Dennis and was very sweet, amazing considering she had probably been awake for over 24hrs traveling. Everything we have been told is she is a sweetheart and would be a very good fit for out family -- with or without Snezhana.

Monday was Snezhana's day to decide... I honestly was completely prepared and expected her to say no. Suddenly we heard she probably said yes and it was confirmed later. I will now stand up as a man and say I wept like a baby. Ok... so enough of that... she was told clearly by the director and translator that her decision must be final whichever way she answered. Still, lots of pressures before she leaves and we'll be continuing to pray for her every day. We haven't fully told the kids yet but we'll have to make sure they aren't to badger Snezhana about being adopted. But anyways... great news... and certainly a necessary step to maintain the relationship with Dennis and leave open the possibility to be adopted.

So with the other girl who I'll just refer to as "H" since "other girl" is starting to bother me. She was asked today or yesterday (it's a blur) and she said she wanted to come too. So this is double great. We will start sending her packages like we do S soon so she can get to know the family.

Now we have a bunch of problems I am happy to have...
* How do we deal with the room situation... I'll just leave it that we have a 5 bedroom 4.5 bath house with a guest room but it's more complicated than you'd think.
* Do we get the new used van, rent a van, or deal with two cars... I'm thinking getting the new van despite the pocketbook pain.
* When do we start the new homestudy, when do we submit the dossier... a million questions here.
* One of the hard parts is the interesting dynamic... H wants to be adopted but doesn't know us except for a brief time at the train station with Melissa, S has said no to adoption, D is S' brother, S knows the family already... we will have to make sure no one feels left out or at odds as best we can... there is enough of us to go around :)
* We have to communicate something before hosting and early in hosting to both S and H to make sure they aren't surprised by each other. We aren't supposed to talk about adoption to H. Everyone here knows... our intention is to adopt both so there is no competition here. That will be an evolving topic.
* We plan to attend the "local" Russian speaking Christian church in the afternoon after our home church in the morning (church, lunch, church). Will make for a long Sunday but we think that for the teenagers the social aspects and realizing they aren't "alone" in America is key.
* S will have some friends in the East coast of the US that we'd like to be able to visit -- again not "alone" -- so that will take some arranging.

I think this is enough for now :)

Family Portraits are available for online viewing!

2011-02-08T17:13:00.002-05:00

Conversation

2011-02-06T16:18:00.000-05:00

So part of me wonders in what detail I should keep blogging. It is possible that some of D's relatives actually have found this... I guess with Google translate they might be able to read enough to make sense of it. At some point I'm sure Snezhana will know enough English and I'd like her to read the entire thing from start to end. Dennis certainly will in not too long. Anyways, I've decided that any negative of what relatives could do is already past and I can only hope there is an opportunity for positive.

Our first letter to Ukraine grandma will go out this week... it isn't very long and just starts the conversation that we expect to be one-way. We are also going to try to send Snezhana another package though since she has not received anything we have sent from Ukraine or the US in the past two months we are pretty certain someone on her end is filtering it. We'll probably revert to sending a letter and pictures only via mail and if we know someone traveling there we will ask they take a package.

Dennis has been missing Snezhana and today he wanted to talk to her even though we just called her yesterday. We caught her washing laundry and had a good conversation. Dennis was showing off some of his new English words. It was funny that he would actually talk to her in English more than in Russian (I love you, Snezhana America, School bus, shovel, etc).

We recorded the conversation just so we can understand what is being said. I'm not really worried about her saying anything bad to him but having the recording allows us to give to a translator to remove all question of what is said as well as giving us an important perspective as to what he's thinking. S asked D if he missed Ukraine to which he said yes, S said he shouldn't. S asked if D wanted to go back to Ukraine to which he said no, S said that he shouldn't as it is much better for him here. S told him to make sure to listen to us and to work hard in school. So she was being a good big sister. He asked her to come to America to which she said "we will see, ok?" -- I asked later about summer hosting and got similar indecisive responses.

I did find out some answers to out list of people D asks us to pray for. Last night he listed Dana (teacher?), Ma***, and Snezhana. He added Snezhana's friend O and "K'susha" to the list -- which could be one of the adults we know or another kid. During the call Snezhana's friend T got on the phone to say hi... she's pretty out going and even called us the weekend we arrived in Kyiv when she heard we were there. Well Dennis referred to T by her full name and the Ma*** name is her last name -- we noted the kids at the boarding school refer to each other by full or last names a lot.

In the next couple of days she'll probably get asked about summer hosting... that question for her will be essentially the same as asking if she wants to see Dennis ever again. We pray she'll say yes, but I can say that the answers she is giving are the same sort she has given when being pressured to say no before.

Anyways... should go and the superbowl party isn't too long from now. Dennis just showed me how to fix his new toy with my car keys... smart, I didn't think of that. So metal plate bent properly and now it's working great.

Sweet kids

2011-02-05T09:05:00.000-05:00

Last night D added two people to his list of people for us to pray for. One is Dana (sp?) who I think is a teacher in one of the pictures we saw of O signing paperwork. Another is Ma*** -- yes, I couldn't pronounce it then either and D wasn't helping :) I have no idea why she (?) was on his mind but we prayed for her too.

Today we are off for family portraits. Melissa and I have a disagreement over what is required to pay $300 for a picture to hang over the fireplace. The current one is fairly formal and coordinated. We didn't realize until last night that we had a disconnect so we'll get pictures and have to see if we agree they are ok for the formal picture. I guess if I didn't want us looking like red necks I should have not chosen to head over to West Virginia for the pictures... ok, it's not that bad :)

Time to try to call Snezhana right before we leave.