Countdown to Ukraine - Day 7

We leave in 7 days - yippie! :) Not much to report today, but I received a new picture of Sneza, so I wanted to post it. Compliments of a friend! :)

Last night I exhausted my ability to shop - I know you can't believe a woman would say that ... my husband wants it in writing and signed in blood! :)

I purchased the last few Christmas gifts that we're going to leave in the US for our kids to open with Gpa & Gma Macy on Christmas Day.

I also finally managed to get myself a good winter coat. I'd been procrastinating and didn't really want to spend the money ... and my boss said I could borrow the coat she took to Iceland last year ... unfortuatnely the coat ended up not fitting, so I absolutely had to buy one for myself. Old Navy, on sale $50 ... not bad, I guess.

Borrowed some black snow boots from a friend tonight, so other than washing the black socks I need for the trip, I think I'm done!

Now for the packing ... blech! More on that another day!

Violetta and Yuroslav - photos at last!

Some friends we've made along this journey took some gifts, cards, and photos of Snezhana and Denis from summer hosting to the two siblings we have not met, in order to make "first contact" so to speak. We hope that seeing photos of their siblings with our family having a good time will help alleviate some of their fears about being adopted by total strangers!

This is a picture of Violetta opening her gift pacakge from us. Her brother in the red coat is waiting to open his.




From our friends' blog: Since all the children were asleep, we asked to come back later to deliver a package from a family in America. While back in the school, we asked to see Yuroslav to deliver his package. He seemed shy and was very quiet. Then we went back to see his little sister & deliver her package. She is such a playful & sweet girl. Yuro is a wonderful big brother (he went with us to deliver her package) & let his sister play with all of his gifts. We could tell he adores her. "O" went with us too - to help translate;) "D" had a great time playing with Violetta and her new dog, "Dru-zhok" (it means best friend - animal, not human). She couldn't seem to understand why we couldn't talk to her - she kept repeating things slowly in Russian and taught us how to count in Russian. Such a clever girl. "O" commented too that she was a smart young lady. Yuro mostly watched & giggled at his sister's delightful play.


We also received some not-so-good news from these friends. He was hosted in Italy over the summer and that family wanted to adopt him. He told them no. They also learned through his teacher & a rough translation that he was afraid that THEY were there to adopt him and take him away. His teacher stressed to our friends that he does not want to be adopted. She said he is a patriot (in a rough translation also). "T" said she hopes the caregivers/workers/director will encourage him to go. She said that it seems to her that he has found safety now & doesn't want to go anywhere, although we all know that this safety will not last and that he needs a family.

The statistcis for these kids is not good. If not adopted by their 16th birthday, they will be left to fend for themselves in the streets of whatever nearby village they get dropped of in at the end of the school year. Ukraine ranks in the top 5 countries with the highest suiside rates and most of these homeless children will become part of this statistic before they even reach age 18.

However, there is hope. In the US with a loving family, these children can stay in school, off the street, off drugs, out of criminal activity & jail. They can attend college and become "whatever they want to be" without fear that they will be left homeless and without hope.

Please continue to pray for us and these children. The choice will ultimately be his, but we know what will most likely happen if he chooses not to come home with us.

Thanksgiving Day - Call to Snezhana

I've called on Thursday every week for the past month, so I figured the fact that it's Thanksgiving Day in the US shouldn't stop me from calling this week on Thursday! I did explain to her that today is a holiday and she was able to speak with Ashley, Sam, and Amanda for the first time since she's been back in the Ukraine.

She does speak with Brian briefly each time I call her, which she did again today as well. He told her he was doing lots of cooking today, mostly pies! :)

She apparently found out earlier this week that she will not be coming to America for the Christmas hosting program. She asked me if she and Denis were coming to America for Christmas and I had to tell her no. :( She was sad and made a whining noise on the phone. I told her I was sorry.

She then asked if "Mama and Daddy" were coming to Ukraine. I felt like someone might be listening in on our phone call today, so I needed to be extra cautious. I told her "maybe" and asked if she understood the word "maybe." She said she did.

(Side note: this is the first time she has referred to my husband as "Daddy" rather than "Papa." He was pleased when I told him.)

We had asked her back in August if she would like to come back for Christmas. She was delighted! But, we told her we couldn't make any promises and that it would be up to NHFC and her Director, not us, to decide which children get to come on the hosting program. We did this because we were told not to make any promises to the children that we might not be able to keep. Back in August, we had no timeline ideas on the adoption process, so we planned to host if we were not in Ukraine by then. The current timeline puts us at her orphanage on Dec 13th - the day the hosting kids arrive in the US.

I don't know if the Director knows yet when we're coming or if she will tell Sneza when we are coming so that she will not worry. Sneza asked me 3 different times in slightly different ways if we were coming to Ukraine in December. Each time I could only tell her maybe and confirm that she understood.

We plan to mail our last letter/package this weekend so that it will arrive just before we do.

Our shopping for the trip is MOSTLY done. We also need to get our Christmas shopping for the American children done before we leave. They will be celebrating Christmas on the 25th with my inlaws, who are staying with them while we're gone.

I have a few items that I still need to get and was waiting for BLACK FRIDAY deals. By the way, I DETEST black Friday and have never EVER shopped on that day before - EVER! I hide from the stores on that day, so I must say that along this journey I have done things that I never thought possible, and shopping on Black Friday for me, is not the least of them! :)

Anyway, off the bandwagon ... our family tradition for the holiday meals is two fold:

1) Brian does the cooking
2) NOT do the traditional food

Our kids do not like turkey, gravy, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, corn, black olives, etc., and only Ashley likes stuffing ... so we rarely make these foods. This year the meal will consist of brisket (cooked with Dad's "special" gravy), 1 small box of stuffing, Brian's mom's recipe for rolls, my grandma's recipe for pie crust (apple & pumpkin this year), my recipe for banana bread, lime and berry jello, and eggnog!

Notice what's missing - vegetables! :) I just might have to do something about that between now and dinner time.

This is a pic of Sneza opening birthday gifts from Amanda (little one) and Ashley at her birthday party we had the weekend before she left. She would be turning 15 less than a month after returning to Ukraine.

Less than 2 weeks to go

I think we've actually gotten everything we need for ourselves, or at least ordered it.  We still have various toiletries, gifts, and the actual packing.  I still have a ton of stuff to do around the house and prep'ing for keeping up with work while out of the country.  December happens to be a pretty active month if you are in management (4Q sales, performance decision making, product releases, etc).  Fortunately I have the best team in IBM.

Since we are going to have to take two trips a lot of the discussion is around what to bring the kids.  Balancing that they probably needs stuff now with the risk that we have to replace it again when we come to pick them up in January.

Fortunately my wife is great at packing and dealing with these sorts of things.  That kind of planning just stresses me out.  I'd rather focus on the house, financial, and other sorts of things.  One of the things that is a strength in our marriage is we both fret over different things so we can each support the other.

I did splurge on a new GPS for my parents when they are here.  The one in my wife's care is probably 5yrs old and doesn't work half the time.  My parents are much better at directions than we are but in growing up on the west coast of the US you always knew which way to head cause you had 14,000ft peaks on one side or the other.  On the east coast there are no mountains and nothing but trees around... I still find it very hard to navigate.

Letter from US Embassy in Kyiv

By way of my congressman (Wolf) dated Nov 22nd.  Take it for what it is worth.  Misspellings are probably mine.

*************************

Dear Mr. Wolf:

Thank you for you letter of November 19. 2010, regarding the adoption situation in Ukraine.

I appreciate your concerns for the future of U.S. adoptions in Ukraine due to the proposed bill in the Ukranian Rada to place a moratorium on intercountry adoptions with countries unless a bilateral agreement is in place.  Please bear in mind that this is merely a proposed bill, which has not yet passed the necessary steps to become law in Ukraine.  The proposition of the bill is very concerning to the Embassy and the Department of State, as we would prefer to see countries consider accession to the Hauge Convention on Intercountry Adoption rather than move toward individual bilateral agreements.  We feel the Hague Convention is the best practice to address common concerns for ensuring the safety of children, while preventing child trafficking.  For that reason, the U.S. intends to encourage Ukraine to consider accession to the Hague convention, with safeguards for transition cases, rather than negotiate a bilateral agreement.

The U.S. Embassy in Kyiv has been actively engaged in discussions with our Ukraninian counterparts in regards to the proposed bill as well as the possibility of considering the Hague Convention.  We will continue to inform U.S. adoption stakeholders via our website with any updates we receive on the developments in Ukraine.

We have confirmed with the SDA that they will continue to process dossiers as usual until December 1, which is their normal end of the acceptance season for the year.  In the even that the moratorium were passed and implemented, any adoptions finalized by Ukrainian courts prior to its implementation will still have the ability to proceed through the U.S. immigration process.

I hope this information will assist you in responding to your constituent.  If we can be of further assistance in this or any other matter, please write to our Congressional Liaison mailbox.

Sincerely,

Consul General

Packages away

Ok... so it really wasn't that impressive but we wanted to send the kids some extra stuff and it required two packages.  Snezhana some black pants, Denis Buzz Lightyear pajamas, and another package with snickers bars and M&M's.  Hopefully the candy won't melt but I figured that re-solidifying it in the Ukrainian winter won't take long... it just might be Snickers lumps and balls of M&Ms but they'll still taste good.

We are hurriedly getting all our packing done.  Our agent gave us a really good list.  Fortunately the only electronic we are bringing that won't run off dual voltage or USB is the AA/AAA battery charger so we just ordered one that does.  A friend let Melissa borrow a European hair dryer.

My parents are coming to watch the kids so we are also making sure the house is set for them.  Enough firewood nearby, I'm in the middle of replace light fixtures, etc.

Another call with Snezhana

So ... another 7:30am call to the school.

She finally got the boots we sent 3+ weeks ago, however she did not like them and they were also too big. :( I figured they might be too big since she was wearing 8-8.5 size shoes when she was here, but told me to send her size 9.

I sent her women's size 9 hiking boot type, but water proof for the rain/snow and apparently that's not what the "girls" wear because she told me they were "men's boots!" I told her they were like mine, but she again said "I don't like." Oh well! Teenage girls are virtually the same all over the world! :) I told her to give them to a friend. She said she gave them to "T."

She said the boots we sent to Denis fit good.

"Papa" asked her what she wanted us to send her and suggested various types of candy! She wants Snickers and M&M (which were her favorite when she was here in the summer). I guess the next package we send will be filled with candy! Good thing the Halloween candy is like 80% off now! :)

I asked her what else she wanted. She said jeans, black jeans. Black is apparently her favorite color! Jeans we can definitely do! She said she still needs boots, girl's boots. I don't think we have 3 weeks left before we leave to get them to her, and I don't want them to be too big or have her not like them ... I think we'll just wait and buy them in Kiev ... hopefully they'll have more "girly" boots in the mall there and maybe more the right size.


She LOVED my husband's sports car and even if she had to squish into the backseat, she would opt to ride in it instead of the "mom van." A bit hard to tell in this washed out picture, but she's wearing all black! We tried to get her to wear other color shorts, but to no avail! :)

Prayer Requests

My wonderful in-laws who will be watching taking care of the kids back home while we are in Ukraine!

Specific prayer requests:

• Travel mercies
• Neither of us enjoy travel by plane as we both experience motion sickness, which makes it difficult to read or sleep to pass the time
• 16+ hours of travel (flight + several hours layover in Germany)
• 14 hour overnight train ride to the orphanage
• No delays or cancelled flights
• That weather does not cause travel issues for us (can be inclimate weather in December – snow, ice, heavy rain, etc.)

• Health & Safety
• Americans are often targeted for robbery or fraud on the street, in cabs, and in hotel rooms/apartments
• The location of the apartment(s) we will need to stay is not always the safest or the cleanest
• Unusual foods/water sources can often cause travel sickness as well
• That neither of us catches cold or flu or anything else like that

• Favor in the eyes of others
• We will be meeting with government officials, judges, regional facilitators, translators, orphanage directors, etc., all of who typically do not trust Americans
• That we will show God’s love to everyone we meet, no matter how they feel about us or how they treat us
• That the children we have never met will understand that we want to love them and reunite the siblings to bring this family back together into a new family that God has ordained for us
• That the paperwork will go smoothly and be processed quickly - Our paperwork needs to get done by Dec 28^th before the entire gov’t shuts down in Ukraine!

• Social/Political issues
• A Ukrainian bill was passed last month that suspends all international adoptions, pending approval of a new agreement
• This requires a 2^nd vote and signature by their president; both events are scheduled to happen before the end of the year
• If we are already in Ukraine, there is a 50-50 chance they could still halt our adoption and send us home without the children

• Mental/Emotional stability
• That we keep focused on God and His calling to us
• That we keep our spirits up despite all the obstacles we see in our path
• That our children back in the states will not miss us too much and will be emotionally stable, knowing we love them and will be back soon
• That we will not miss our children back in the states too much
• Those caring for our children back in the states

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and support!

SDA Appointment

We were told today that our SDA appointment is Dec 9th.  I must admit that is further out than even our worst expectations which is hard to swallow.  It's nearly 4wks from now.  We understand that this means we will go in Dec, get the referral(s), visit with the kids, get the paperwork signed off, and then have to return in January for our court date.  We are going to confirm the court closes at the same time the SDA does on Dec 25th - Jan 10th.

I trust God has a plan here... and maybe it means we'll be having overlapping travel with some friends adopting one of Snezhana's friends.  It does answer some questions about timing in several areas of our lives that were up in the air.

Please, please write

** Mostly borrowed from other blogs... in this case plagiarism is desired.


Please take a moment to write your congressmen/women, the state dept, whoever will listen and then encourage your friends and family to do the same!  Thank you!

Below you'll find a letter that you can use or by all means, write your own. 
To send a letter to your congressmen/women:
https://writerep.house.gov/writerep/welcome.shtml

To send a letter to your senators just click on the state and follow the link:
http://www.senate.gov/general/contact_information/senators_cfm.cfm


Dear (name),

On November 2, 2010, the Ukrainian parliament voted to proceed with voting on legislation that would halt all international adoptions until inter-country adoption agreements are in place (see the State Dept. announcement at http://adoption.state.gov/news/ukraine.html) . At this point, all that is needed for this to become law is one more vote in Ukrainian parliament and a signature by the Ukrainian president. This could happen any day.


If it does, many families and innocent children will be greatly affected. Many of these families are adopting older children who have a very short time-frame before no longer being eligible for adoption.  American families adopting these children in the NEXT MONTHS offer them what may be their only opportunity at a normal and productive life free of crime, prostitution, or institutionalization due to illnesses that are treatable in the United States. I personally know one of these families.

I am writing to you to URGE you to act quickly on this matter by completing two actions. First, contact your Ukrainian counterparts and request a consideration of revision of the law to allow adoptions to proceed while the agreement is being drafted (as was done in Russia).  Secondly, work with your colleagues in congress to begin drafting this agreement so that it is ready to go in the event the law passes.

Thank you for your timely consideration of this urgent matter!

Another call with Snezhana

This is a picture of our crew before church on the first Sunday the kids arrived! They got to our house about mid-night on Friday and we had them out to church that same Sunday! Just wanted to share some photos from hosting since I don't have anything new, yet!



Anyway, today I called Snezhana again.

7:15 am is when my 3 kids leave the house (with Daddy) to walk to the end of our short cul-de-sac and catch the bus for school. This is also always the time I call Snezhana's boarding school in Ukraine. I have been taking Russian lessons from a gal in Florida who is from Belarus, so I try to practice my greetings with the school secretary who answers the phone! Despite the fact that my Russian tutor says I don't have much of an accent, the secretary clearly knows I am an American! The conversation goes like this ...

-Hallo
-(que American accent) Zdravstvyjte. Dobrey den.
-Dobrey den.
-Snezhana, pazhalsta?
-(que Russian accent) 10 minutes, please
-Da, spasiba

So, I call back in 10 minutes and wait for another 2-3 before they actually put Snezhana on the phone. I had my Russian tutor teach me how to ask if she received the boots we sent; she said she had not. I asked about the sweaters/shirts (in very poor Russian because she had to say "what?" several times). Yes, she did receive all the shirts and sweaters we sent and she really likes the one with Jack Black (kid from Twilight) She also said Denis got the shirts/sweaters we sent to him and REALLY likes the tiger shirt! I sent the boots between the two packages of shirts/sweaters, so I'm guessing the boots got held up in customs, but still hopeful they will arrive before we do.

I practiced a few phrases in Russian with her, most of the time she says "what?" and I repeat it several times before she understands. Many times she says "I don't understand." Oh well ... at least I'm trying ... it's the thought that counts, right??! :)

No news on our appointment date, so please keep praying. If the bill gets signed into law while we are in Ukraine, it *could* put an immediate halt to the adoption, so we are praying AGAINST that as well.

Thank you!

Very few things

I'm sure everyone who adopts internationally goes through the same thing.  At some point in the process there is nothing you can do but pray -- though you do that all along.

1. We are waiting on some unknown person at the SDA to schedule a date.  We hope he will pick up our document, accept it, and schedule us an appointment.  We pray we will know this Friday that the appointment is on or before Nov 24th.  This date is what is required for us to be able to complete the adoption this year and in one trip.

2. We are waiting on a collection in parliament to vote to suspend adoptions.  Pleading and praying for a miracle happens where the final draft of the people is done to allow the needed adoption program changes to be made without delaying the adoption process.  I know this is possible but unknown hearts need to be changed to be willing for it to happen.  We also hope that the bill doesn't pass at all while knowing that there are things that do need to change and will have to change sometimes.

3. We are waiting on our on gov't to proactively drive the required bi-lateral agreement with Ukraine that will keep adoptions open.  There are a very few things we can do here but it is a big political machine.

I like my congressman

When the Ukraine vote to put a moratorium on international adoptions, one of the first things I did was send a letter to my congressman (Frank Wolf - VA).  I was honestly expecting a form letter having nothing to do with my concerns/questions.

I got a specific letter back in the mail today that he contacted the State Dept and US Embassy in Ukraine on my behalf and will let me know as soon as he has more information.  I still haven't received a response from the embassy on my own request so hopefully he has better luck.

No Orphans of God

In honor of orphan Sunday

Just waiting ...

No news. We're just in the waiting phase right now, but that's ok - we rushed around and got everything done we could do ... so now the frenzy is over, at least for now, so we just wait.

Why is it that when we've exhausted ourselves doing everything humanly possibly to do what God has called us to do, and finally EVERYTHING is completely in HIS control, that we start to FREAK OUT!??! :) We now feel like it's in the hands of the government, but we are wrong! It is in GOD's hands.

I am reminded of one of new favorite songs by Christian artist Chris Tomlin "Our God (is Greater). "And, if our God is for us, who could stand against us?" Enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc

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Moratorium Vote

Found out today that the Ukraine parliament passed a moratorium on International adoptions.  Apparently this still has to go through 2 "readings" and then be signed by the President.  Once signed it would immediately be law.  The only exception to the law is if there is a bi-lateral agreement with the foreign country.  Last I read only Israel has one with Ukraine.

I am told not to worry and this happens all the time and this could be like 6mo before it happens.

Anyways, be praying that God will intervene and that whatever is done does not suspend adoptions.  The actual parliament webpage on the bill.

http://gska2.rada.gov.ua/pls/zweb_n/webproc4_1?id=&pf3511=34931