Still hanging in there

We've managed to keep it together again for several days.  Yesterday Ashley wasn't in trouble and had all her homework done so Dennis got to spend a lot of time riding his trike.  I work from home and typically at least 10hrs a day so I'm working when they get home... mom usually gets home around 4:30p so they have about 1.5hrs under "loose" supervision to get homework done and go play.

The freedom brought out another conflict... I've known Dennis was a little tattle tale and there had been hints of him having problems with others having different restrictions than he does... the latter came out big time yesterday.  Ashley is 10yrs old and is allowed a lot more freedom to roam the neighborhood than the other kids.  Neighborhood in our case is a community with no fences, lots of families with kids, and houses on 2-3 acre lots. The younger kids are limited to playing in our cul de sac which has only one other driveway in it besides ours and 3 houses including ours.

Ashley was spending time with a friend which of course took her out of the cul de sac.  You'd think someone stole is stuffed bear he named after his sister in Ukraine (Snezhana) -- it was the first gift he got when arriving in America as our son.  Explaining to him that Ashley is big and he is little wasn't enough for him.  We managed to prevent a major blow up but I did catch him following Ashley down the road once.  Legally Dennis is 10 and only 8mo younger than Ashley but maturity wise he's very close to Amanda our 7yr old... certainly not up to Sam our 8yr old.

Last night I finally got around to making brisket.  It is baked in the oven and makes a nice sauce... it isn't sweet and seemed exactly like the type of food Dennis would like.  The rest of the family loves it too (especially me).  That turned out to be very true though his face when eating the cooked carrots was priceless.  I tried making rolls a second time and that worked out well this time.  I wonder how obvious it was during my staff meeting that I was cutting up the last few onions for the first few minutes when I wasn't talking -- if you guys are out in NoVA I'll have to make it for you :)  Ashley invited a friend over that she's been inviting to church and AWANAs... I'm so proud of her.

Brisket recipe: http://www.howcast.com/videos/341946-How-To-OvenCook-Beef-Brisket
I love the sauce so definitely boil that down.  Takes about 20minutes to prepare, 4hrs to cook, and then 20minutes to boil the sauce down.  Next time I'm going to try halving the salt... I love salt but it's a bit much  for me.

Dinner rolls: http://www.food.com/recipe/easy-dinner-rolls-40633
My mom gave me her old Kitchen Aid and got me a new mixer blade that scrapes the sides.  I'm probably abusing the blade to make bread dough with it but it works great.  Takes <10min to prep this, 5min later on to put it into balls to rise, and then 17min to cook -- practically no mess, just 1 counter wipe -- ... I can find that much time between meetings in the day to make fresh rolls for dinner.  I may try putting butter on the outside of the dough balls to keep them from sticking together.

This morning Dennis was fine.  Pushing little buttons to see if he could get a reaction but didn't actually do anything he wasn't supposed to.  e.g. Insisting we go out the front door to the van so he unlocked the door but he went out the garage door like he was supposed to.  Ashley was having a rough morning and I think he was pleased to see that big sister gets the same exact consequences he does when her attitude is bad.  She ended up getting some correction in the house to help get her on track and then ended up walking to the bus stop while the rest of us were in the warm van -- she refused to get in the van on time.  I tried to make it clear to him that Ashley isn't bad but she is having a bad attitude... trying to show with a grumpy face -- no picture, sorry.  Dennis was in the car with his seat belt on without being told :)  He didn't want to associate himself with Ashley getting on the bus though... refused to hold her hand or let her put her arm around him.

So over all... progress.  We'll have some more blow ups but it's ok.  We are getting the Family Rules book that was recommended on our adoption facebook group.  The school uses a similar system with cards, points, rewards, etc ... so I think it will help reinforce that.  Plus the kids are starting to like earning money and this is a good way to get the house cleaner while letting them earn more money... I'm just not sure I can afford it if they actually comply :)  Sam said he's saving money for a Nintendo 3DS, even the $0.60/wk ice cream money... he's even figured that once he gets enough he can sell his old DSi to get across the finish line.

Random musings

So we call Dennis "little D" or "big D"... little D seems more appropriate but he goes back and forth between wanting each.

Sam is being a really big brother... the entire family is better with D in it.  I was most worried about Sam though and he's fantastic.

Each of our kids has a plaque in his/her door with something appropriate painted on it and name.  Ashley destroyed her's, Amanda has a princess one, and Sam has a dinosaur one.  I wanted to see what Dennis would like that would be appropriate and fortunately he hasn't seemed to notice that only Sam has a plaque on their bedroom door.  Yesterday I ordered a Lightening McQueen plaque for D... it is coming from the UK so it will take weeks to get here but I think he'll enjoy it.

I am really going to try to get our new family portrait framed and hung this weekend.  If D is doing well I'll take him on Saturday.

Phew... made it

Wasn't sure D has going to be able to hold it together this morning.  You could see it in his face that he was having a hard time though he got himself dressed, fed, and ready for school.  We were a little extra gentle with how we said things and encouraged him to do things but he complied.

I thought he was going to lose it in the van though.  Bus showed up and he didn't want to go.  I have no idea why as he loves school.  He did have a substitute teacher yesterday and somehow he didn't get his Monday ice cream treat.  With a little pushing from Ashley and I he did go.... he didn't want to hold Ashley's hand though.

I have taken note that he refused to eat dinner last night so he went to bed hungry.. that might have something to do with this morning.  It wasn't my favorite meal either but in our family you eat what you are given or nothing at all.  It was his choice... I ate mine :)

We will see how he does when he gets home from school today.  He doesn't seem to understand yet that I have to work so I can't watch him ride his bike outside.  This is usually where the hard battles start.  He understands he can't bother me when I'm on the phone but he can get impatient with it.  When I'm not on the phone I have a stool next to me so he can watch what I'm doing and I often listen to music while working which he enjoys.

Today Ashley has finally finished her punishment and put away her clean clothes... she drags this stuff out for weeks... so once her homework is done she can go watch D on his trike while she rollerblades.

Bounce back

Dennis had a good weekend.  He woke up Saturday happy and silly.  "Daddy-style" french toast was a big hit.  Daddy style is that mom makes it then we layer with butter and smother in powdered sugar to make a thick paste on top.  Mommy thinks that is really weird and you should put maple syrup on them but we had neither syrup or jam... so powdered sugar it was.  I think D ate 4... the other kids scarfed them down too... mom had to fight for any at all.  Plates were licked clean and D gave a big thumbs up with "SUGAR GOOOD".  I'm pleased to have corrupted more french toast eaters.

Afterward we called Snezhana.  D didn't want to talk much and based on the previous day's events we didn't want to leave him alone to chat.  We couldn't really clearly explain to D why his behavior shouldn't have allowed it so we decided it was best to allow.  He was big smiles during the call.  Nothing really new on the call.  S asked if D was crying cause he was quiet.  S said she couldn't find any of the kids D wanted to talk to.  S said Ukraine gma cries all the time though we find that doubtful as it seems like S isn't talking to gma much... she still didn't know if gma had gotten our latest package.

Then D went to the eye doctor... he has a laaaaazy eye and is slightly near sighted.  Apparently he's going to get glasses to help... not sure that helps with the laaaazy eye though.  Melissa also FedEx'd a package to some people going to S' orphanage in the next couple of weeks... shoes, socks, pictures, letter, etc.  Since none of the shoes we have sent fit and she also wants deoderant that we've only found in Ukraine and shampoo, we sent some shopping money too that can be used under supervision.

Today we had a Supper's 8 lunch with friends from church and the kids all did well.  Then we came home and the kids played in the basement while we worked on stuff and got dinner ready.  Melissa and D got to talk to one of Snezhana's friends who was recently adopted.  It was really helpful, though as soon as D was asked if he was being a good boy the conversation ended.  D put his head in his hands and from then on answered No to anything asked.  Still got to work on him differentiating having done something bad and reconciled with being a bad boy.  I think the friend is going to call S tomorrow... I know she likes to keep in touch with some of her friends.

D says he's going on the bus to school tomorrow.  I'm really hoping it works out that way :)

Sigh

This week my hound dog realized that if he gets loose that if he runs circles around cars they will stop and can't move.  Now one has been daring enough to call his bluff and he can run at like 30mph so even if you get moving there aren't many roads nearby that you can out run him.  This morning the kids let him out of my office and then out the door on the way to the bus.  Apparently he "got" the bus a ways down the road and held them up for close to 20minutes... and everyone behind the bus.  So for now on I'll tie him up outside before the kids head out.

Hard to see the mark.  It's mostly in the shiny spot on his forehead with a bump in the hairline in the "shade".   Happens to be right about the small scabs from the incident earlier this week.

The books say that kids will often revert to much younger childhood behavior after they are adopted.  Let's just say that D hit the terrible 2s this week.  He really did it on the natural consequences this morning.  He know he wasn't allowed to bring his flashlight to school but apparently snuck it into a pocket.  At the bus stop he says "flashlight school" a few times with a smile on his face... ugh, obviously he wanted to get caught... so I find it and put it in my pocket.  He then starts running off towards the house, makes it about 10ft, and then face plants on the asphalt.  It's a good one this time... nice bump on his forehead and road rash to accompany.  When the bus came he didn't want to get one which was ok... between the bump and being mad I figured that would be the case.

I swear the school is going to call CPS or something... second time this week he's come in with road rash on his forehead.  Last time was when he fell refusing help getting out of the van at school.  And he's been late to school 3 times this week.

This is our timeout bench.  Spent a lot of time there today.  He doesn't like people to see his face when he is mad.  I tried to be a little silly about it to try to get him out of the bad mood.  Of course I'm looking at this and wondering when he put on socks that didn't remotely match.

Getting home wasn't any better.  He's lost his DSi, glasses, and flashlight now due to bad behavior/attitudes.  When he didn't get those back he was besides himself... we actually had a little "battle" going on for about 4hrs.  Started with him kicking my office doors repeatedly and refusing to stop.  Oh well... he refused to eat dinner but seems better now.  He prayed with us, gave hugs, and told everyone -- even me -- he loved them.

His behavior should lose him bike privileges and calling Snezhana tomorrow though Melissa and I need to talk about that since Sunday he won't have the opp so it'll wait until next week... of course if he's been in a bad mood recently I wonder how he'll answer the repeated "Do you like it there?  Do they upset you? Do they hurt you? Do they beat you?" questions from S... so maybe a delay is ok.

So if the books are right and this regression to earlier life can take a couple of months... we should be into it 2wks so maybe we only have 6-8wks left :)  And 2-4yrs old is the worst.  We are hoping we can get someone who speaks Russian to tell him that we love him even when he's misbehaving.  That running off or throwing tantrums when he doesn't get what he wants is not ok.  That he has to obey with a good attitude to keep his privileges... and he has to earn back what he loses by obeying and keeping a good attitude.  I'm pretty sure he gets it but just want to reinforce it to make it crystal clear.

Ghost Blogger ... I mean GUEST Blogger: MOM!

Our day at the park. Recently I had to take D to get a cavity filled and I want to run into the thrift store near the dentist's office, so between those two activities, we had 45 minutes to burn, so I otp'd for a nearby park. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves!

Enjoy!

Today, yesterday, not enough

I really missed the kids today.  They got off reasonably well to school today but I had to head out to a customer site for work.  It ended up being a long day followed by dinner with a colleague who is in town.  Then off to home to be the bad guy raining down punishment after bed time for things that could not wait until morning.

I guess that is why they call me dad. blech

What a change 5 minutes makes

D came home grumpy from school yesterday though it sounds like he did well at school.  He kept asking for his DSi and to bicycling.  Got grumpy with his siblings and eventually I had to carry him over to the time out bench.  I got the "America bad", "Ashley bad", series of stuff then he thought about it and 5minutes later it was "I'm sorry, daddy hug".  Back to his normal self and we had an enjoyable rest of the afternoon/evening.

He didn't actually want his DSi back... I think that stems from him seeing himself as bad and undeserving even after reconciling.  Later in the evening he did play with it but only on the counter where I had put it when I gave it back to him... he still didn't feel like he could take "ownership" of it.

I do need to get him to understand that I have to work all day so I can't take him bicycling until the evening... sometimes his older sister can but only if she's done with her homework and not in trouble.  I'm getting less concerned of him being out there with Sam (who typically is done with his homework and not in trouble) as with the first sign of a car he heads for the side of the road and drives his trike into the ditch... half the time tumbling off of it.  It is kind of humorous to watch... I'll have to try to get a video.

He had a good attitude this morning too.  Last week he earned $0.60 by being excellent at school... the kids use the $0.60 to buy ice cream but only if they get top marks.  Frankly all the kids were in trouble yesterday morning so no one got it.  Since they earned it and this morning they were doing well they got it today.  They were pleased... of course I suspect everyone in Ukraine probably thinks he's gonna get sick eating ice cream in Winter.  Though it's now officially spring and the weather is great :)

Some great snippets

So we make sure to keep an eye on conversations the kids have.  They do great talking but as has happened before, it leads to misunderstandings if we don't know... it's just prudent.

Here are some humorous snippets from last Saturday's conversation.

S: where are you at right now?
D: in America
S: duh..I know you are in America, where are you at? At School?
...
S: do you like teachers?
D: I like mom a lot
S: the one who is in America?
D: yes
S: what about dad?
D: dad? Snezhana?
S: Do I like dad?
D: Yes. I like dad...Does Snezhana like mom?
...
D: Snezhana, dad brought ice cream.
S: ok, Dennis, you can eat it, but not a lot and don't get sick. Got it?
...
S: Dennis, do they upset you there?
D: no
S: for sure?
D: for sure
S: do they beat you?

D: what?
S: do they beat you?
D: no
S: are you sure?
D: yes

This last series of questions has come up before too.  Obviously a big concern of someone Snezhana talks too.  Dennis got to talk to his former teacher in Ukraine and some friends.  Mom is of course really pleased with her comment.

Unfortunately Sunday and this morning we had some difficulties.  He's overtly testing his boundaries now.  D even missed the bus this morning and had a bit of a natural consequence getting out of the car at school.  I had a talk with his teacher and the school nurse (forehead abrasion).  This is actually the first time D has been in a bad mood that didn't get resolved before we had to do something.  I'm hoping to learn how to say "You need to obey well and have a good attitude to get good things" in Russian... just so it's very clear why he's gotten his DSi taken away and can't ride his bike.  He's gotten the "I'm sorry" followed by a hug thing down well.

He has a hard time verbally expressing his frustrations at times so it ends up when he gets really mad which is very infrequent we get "NO", "America bad", "Mama bad", "Daddy bad", "Ashley bad".... you get the idea.  Fortunately he hasn't learned the word "hate" yet.

I'm hoping he'll get home today and we'll reconcile and be back on track.  He's really an easy little guy to work with.

Tiller

Friday was 75degF outside so everyone was outside.  I used the time to till the garden and Dennis was happy to help.  He seemed to enjoy it and we were only interrupted by our crazy hound dog breaking his collar and running off.

This 70lbs dog is insane (Gus)... he bends the strongest tied down I can find until he's able to pull it out of the ground (takes him about 4hrs these days).  This time his pulling literally snapped the big buckle on his collar that is only a few months old.  He's an angel when he's on his training collar but he manages to slip that from time to time... so I'm getting more creative with that.  He's awfully pretty as he's running full speed away from you though :) Dennis helped Ashley and I run the dog down and bring him back.

After that distraction all the kids, except Ashley who was grounded, helped me build a burn pile.  Today we finished it up and cut up the branches we are using for firewood next year.  In a little bit Melissa should be home, we'll call the county fire control, start the fire, and will roast hot dogs by it of the smaller fire pit once it burns down.  The boys helped me run down the hoses, and of course test them on each other.  Add a shovel and I think we are all set.

Tomorrow I expect that we'll start collecting the rounds around the property and bring them up to be split.  Then follow with some more bike riding.

Today we talked to Snezhana again.  Dennis got to talk with her, his old teacher, and several of his friends.  I think it is important he be happy here and relay that to the people he knows back there.  I know with some kids and relationships it can cause being "home sick" or behavioral problems afterward.  Dennis seems too easy going for that and it hasn't caused issues yet.  Snezhana did ask him if he'd called his Ukraine gma yet, which he hasn't but we will once we arrange for a translator.... we actually don't really need a translator, just someone to introduce themselves, us, and make sure gma stays "inline" not trying to guilt or otherwise manipulate Dennis.  Maybe we can do something for next Saturday.

A BIG praise that the kids and I have been praying about for over a week... Snezhana got our package.  This is a first in over 3 months... I kind of wonder if the letter to the director had anything to do with it.    The MTC minutes apparently were beneficial... she said "so so" which I'm guessing means she ended up giving them to a friend or using them in a different way... but she did say she'd like more and my commitment was I'd keep sending them as long as she keeps answering the phone.

Snezhana did feel comfortable enough to ask Melissa for some toiletry items and clothes.  She seemed a little sad when we started the conversation but was in good spirits after talking with Dennis.  We are going to send some stuff we still have for her (like shoes) with the understanding it probably won't work... but we will see if one of the families going in the next month or two can take some money from us and just supervise a brief covert shopping trip.

Hopefully this means Anna got her package this week too.  We sent her stationary and are very curious as to whether or not she'll write us.

Drilling

Dennis did much better this morning.  He "woke up" grumpy and didn't want to do anything so I dressed him.  It's an interesting story I heard on the radio (Dennis Rainey from FamilyLife??) about him trying to get his kids to put their jackets on in a battle of words and wills.  His mother-in-law interceded and just put the jackets on the kids.  His comment was "It was that easy?".  I try to keep that in mind and it worked well for Dennis.

I got a big hug this morning and he later apologized to me... so he got his DSi back.  He actually didn't want it back, I think out of guilt.  I think at some point in his life he was told he was a bad boy a lot.  He doesn't see himself as a good kid even though he's a great kid.  When a Russian speaking friend of my wife's asked him if he was a good boy he said no.  When she asked why, he couldn't think of what he was being bad so he eventually decided he was a good boy.  We'll have to work on that.

So on drilling... he got his cavity filled today and he did great, I am told.  Unfortunately he was told he couldn't eat food for 4hrs until the Novocaine wore off... so he missed out on chicken at McD's.  Mom did buy him (and me) a Shamrock shake so it wasn't a complete loss.  Mom had a chipped tooth that got filled too.

Question for all of you with eastern European adopted kids or who are from eastern Europe.  Is chicken a very popular food?  Dennis LOVES chicken and tomato based pasta dishes though he begs for chicken all the time.  He's even asked me to get in the car so we can go get chicken.  In Ukraine we had a lot of food I liked... most was either fish or pork though.  Honestly the chicken stuff we had was pretty nasty.

It also took Dennis quite a while to get over a fear of cheese.  Frankly I totally understand that... the cheese in Ukraine was awful.  It is more like plain curd in the US... which is ok on crackers sometimes but is not cheese.  I'm sure in many of the living conditions in Ukraine dairy products were not a good thing.  He had a problem getting over milk too but he's pretty good with it now.  In the "American" restaurants you might get a Kraft single on your burger if you were lucky -- just a note for my mid-west friends, Kraft American  cheese is NOT cheese, get yourself some Tillamook cheddar.

This afternoon my boss missed our 1:1 or I decided that was a sign that I should end my day early (9.5hrs).  The weather is awesome.  We road bikes, played ball, and spent a large amount of time chasing Gus who got out of the house twice.  I'm still amazed at how well Dennis is doing on his trike.

P.S. For my employees in North America, you don't know it yet but I'm letting you go at noon tomorrow.  The weather is just to nice to work tomorrow afternoon.  Things are too tight to do much else but I can at least show my appreciate for all the hard work and dedication by trying to force you to take some time to enjoy the outside and an extended weekend with this fantastic weather.

First school field trip

Today was the 2nd grade class outing to the Winchester Childrens' Discovery Center.  I took today off (first in a LONG time) and was a chaperone.  We had fun, it's a tiny little hole in the wall childrens' center but it is cheap and they make good use of the space.  I was surprised to find a climbing wall and my group wanted to spend half their time there.

This is cool.

Let's try this again using the holds dad recommend.

Not pretty but it works.

A random unicorn painted on the wall across from the climbing wall that he insisted on getting his picture with.

Now these last two I just have to laugh at.  Yes, these are real and the right orientation.  He is hanging upside down off an over hang.  Then when he gets comfortable he starts deciding he can reach his legs over his arms just cause he can.

Even those of you following this blog may have missed or not remembered one of our first conversations with the orphanage Director.  She was very nice to us but she described Dennis as an "invalid".  Now that could have been lost in translation somewhere but it irked me instantly.  So much was going on otherwise that little bit was lost in the noise.  But seeing this just immediately brought me back to that moment and I so wanted to exclaim "SO THERE!!".

I checked him out of school early when we got back.  I got a chuckle of of that too... they list a reason and those before me listed "Doctor", "Appointment", "Sick", etc... I put "FUN".  We went over to the local pizza/sub/etc place and had drinks and crab fries.  My phone wasn't working or I'd have a picture... I liked it and Dennis was ok but eventually tired of it.

It was a long tiring day and he started getting grumpy and acting up.  He stayed home from AWANAs tonight and is bed.

Work day photos

To make up for the lack of pictures, after biking today we decided to go do some poses to show off our work.

I mentioned in an earlier blog about the first crocus of the year.  Figured I'd get a picture.  I must say that a crocus is very underwhelming... can't imagine planting enough of these to look like anything.

This is the crape myrtle that Ashley and I grew from a twig.  We are going to pour a cement step out the side of the house there.  Dennis is showing off one of the shovels.  The kids actually filled in some holes behind him while I planted this one.

This is one of the new blueberry bushes.  There was a blueberry bush last year but this winter the deer chewed it up.  I didn't want the kids stepping on the bulbs coming up in this area so I took a boring picture without kids.

This is the smallest of the 3 main branches off the slowing dying tree behind the kids.  This opens up a pine tree behind it to more light.

Shot of the same branch from the other side.  There are two other really small trees lying around too that I also cleared.

Dennis is really proud of this one and he should be.  He worked and fell hard to get there in.  To the right is a new blueberry bush that should mature in spring and right behind him is the chewed up one mentioned before that we transplanted here to see if it would make it.

Another good once Dennis helped with.  This is one of the trees Ashley and I grew from a twig.  Taken care here that Dennis doesn't get excited, lose balance and fall on the tree.

Sam helped me with this hard task.  This pine tree got overgrown with vines coming off other tree over taken by vines.  We cleared out everything effecting it and pulled off as many vines as we could.  You can see Sam and Amanda playing with the beach ball they found when picking up trash.  We are going to have a lot of brush/branches to burn.

The 3 youngest kids showing off their muscles.  Dennis would have tried to carry that log up to the house if I had let him.  This is a dead tree that finally fell this winter.  I don't know what kind of wood this thing is but it is hard as a rock.  I had to sharpen the chain 3 times just to get this thing into a dozen pieces and it isn't very big around.

Decided to take a detour to the tiny creek at the edge of our property.  It is overgrown with brush during the summer so he hadn't seen it before.  Dennis is demonstrating how he loses balance if he gets too excited.

Just cause... Dennis didn't want any more pictures of the water but insisted I take this picture.  That is actually our neighbors house.  Our house is actually well over the ridge behind the trees on the left of this picture.

Another tree Ashley and I grew from a twig.  At this point Dennis didn't want to pose with any small trees.

They all decided this little pine tree that the winds/ice destroyed that I had to cut down was worth posing in front of.  It will make for a few small logs in the fire but mostly nice fuel for the burn pile.

Lastly, the wood shed.  You'll note we are down to our last dry row... fortunately the weather looks like we won't need it.  We burned about 2-3x the shed full this year.  It's hard to tell from the picture but it slopes back pretty good.  The kids carry the wood into the lawn tractor/trailer parked about where I'm standing.  We'll take advantage of the next few months splitting the wood around the property and seeing how far we can get in filling it back up.

That's about it.  Dennis is doing great.  Mom made his favorite food tonight CHICKEN.  He ain't more than anyone else including me.  We did seem to find his limit in ice cream.  We try to have ice cream or some sort of dessert available every night for the kids who eat everything.  He certainly could use to gain 10lbs... and that cavity the dentist found, he brought that with him from Ukraine -- I need to schedule an appointment for him.  Though thinking back on it... all the candy we sent him in packages coupled with poor dental hygiene might have had something to do with it.

This evening riding bikes... Amanda was showing off how she can ride her bike full speed and pedaling hard down the driveway.  She's is going to really wreck bad one of these days... but she's so pleased with gma and gpa showing her how :)  Dennis was showing me how he can ride his trike with no hands.  That may not sound like anything but it's pretty impressive... when he left this summer for Ukraine he was still having trouble keeping the trike straight and tended to turn the big side-to-side as he pedaled.  Having enough strength to pedal and keep the trike going straight without the help of his hands is huge.  He's of course has gotten spinning around and riding down the driveway on the trike down too.  His running is doing a lot better too... once we get running down we will try him on Sam's old bike with training wheels.

Work day

I'm sad to say I didn't get any pictures cause I was too dirty to use a camera.  Ashley and I raise little "trees" from Arbor day... I use the term tree loosely since they come as 12" long twigs and with my black thumb maybe 1/3 of them live.  We had a crape myrtle and some other trees that are 3 years old and in need of transplanting.  We also had two new blueberry bushes to plant.  Dennis was quite excited to help with this.

We soon realized he doesn't have the muscles yet to be able to dig a hole but that didn't prevent him from trying. We both got a good chuckle with him tumbling off the shovel... along with a few whacks with the shovel on me.  There were a couple of shovel fulls with me holding the shovel and him trying to jump on it.  In the end we transplanted 4 trees and planted the two new bushes.  The crape myrtle replaced a small dead pine tree by the house and will look nice.  Dennis is scared of worms... in a silly scared way.  I threw one at him at which he let out a short yelp and rolled to the ground... soon turning to laughter.

During this Sam and Ashley decided they would earn money by picking up trash that had blown around.  I had to declare foul when they decided they would just pick up stuff from the trash dump along the creek.  Not that it was a bad thing but there is too much back there to get hurt on and the little dog keeps coming back with ticks from there.  The got lots of trash, 3 crutches, and a beach ball that is in still good condition.

After planting Dennis decided he wasn't interested in hanging around while I use the chainsaw.  Probably a good idea as I didn't want to have to keep an eye on him with me with a chainsaw and parts of trees falling from the sky.  He, Sam, and Ashley rode bikes.  His legs are getting so strong and I've noticed his gate when running is improving significantly.

Later they went inside and Sam helped me finish off cutting wood.  There were some big branches from dying trees I wanted to clear to give more sun to the trees behind them; several small trees that the winds/ice destroyed beyond recovery; a nice pine tree that the vines were killing that we cleaned up; and a fallen dead tree we cut up for firewood.  Still lots to do...

Registered

Got Dennis passport back today from the Ukraine embassy.  It came with a letter, in English, reminding us of when we have to do post-placement reports.  I was less than impressed by the "seal" in the passport... just a blue stamp in Russian that is signed.  Now to store it away never to be used again.

Next thing I'm waiting for is his SSN so I can open up a joint savings account like I have with the rest of the kids.

Who is the whimp?

Yesterday I took Dennis to the doctor and then to get blood drawn.  He did great and we had a good time... I was very disappointed they were out of Shamrock shakes at McD's though.

So we are at the lab to get blood drawn.  Now I have to lay down if I'm getting blood drawn or more than 3 shots... it's weird but if I don't I get queasy, if I lay down I can get up immediately after and am fine.  I figured with Dennis on my lap I'd certainly have no issues cause it wasn't happening to me.  Well, I was wrong.  Dennis was perfect, didn't squirm, looked right at it, smiled the entire time... me... I was barely making it after the 3rd vial.  I had to lay on the floor afterward and was still pale hours later.

Oh well... so mom gets to go for the blood draws from now on :)

In the car he was practicing his directional skills.  He wanted to understand where the school, home, mom's work, etc were in relation to where ever we were.  He did pretty good.  Started practicing left and right too... he didn't get directions in Russian so I hadn't been pushing it... on step at a time.  But he's absorbing stuff quickly.

Yea, it works

Using the new phone number we were able to get ahold of Snezhana again after 3wks of trying (thank you so much Julie).  The new number is MTC but I think it is a monthly instead of a pre-paid plan, I SMS'd her a MTC card number to see if it works -- I guess we'll have to find out later.  We actually ended up calling her twice since some little fingers found the power button to the UPS in the middle of our conversation.  We caught her washing her clothes... second time that has happened.

I let Dennis be alone in the room to talk to Snezhana for the first call... he was all smiles when I looked in on him.    He talked more than normal... I think he's been taught to be quiet when adults are in the room.  S told us thank you for the photos and letter on behalf of her grandma.  She gave us her grandma's phone number and asked us to call her some time.  We told her we would when we could have a translator on the phone.  So we need to work on that but that was good.

At the beginning of the second call Dennis started crying.  S didn't say anything to cause it.  I think just 3wks without talking to and missing his sister suddenly overwhelmed him.  He wouldn't talk so Melissa and I did.  We let her know he was crying cause he was missing her but asked her to remind him she was coming for summer.  It didn't console him but I did find it good that he wanted to be with me rather than pulling away.

This week we sent out letters and photos Dennis' Ukraine gma and the orphanage director.  Kind of hoping that if someone is filtering out Snezhana's packages at the orphanage maybe a letter might help... but the letter only mentioned hoping that this makes it to her cause Snezhana's packages don't seem to be making it to her.  We also sent packages to Snezhana and Anna.  This time we used USPS Priority for everything which was $10 more expensive per letter but only $1 more for the packages to the girls.  If things go well with gma we might consider using gma as a mechanism to get packages to Snezhana but that is getting a little ahead of ourselves.

Happy

Dennis was so happy about everything last night.  He came back from Awana's last night really pleased... everything was good.  House, dog, school, siblings, mama/papa (ahhhh), sister coming to America, America, everything... then he didn't want a goodnight hug but I decided he didn't get a choice :)

He's also pleased as punch -- and so am I -- that he's figured out the concept of "tomorrow" and how to use it ("School Tomorrow").  We are also pretty good going from "Water please" to "May I have water please"... not that if you didn't know what to expect you'd understand it but I'm ok with that.

Rosetta Stone will start next month.

Hard worker

So Dennis today insisted on being a big helper.  I'm pretty amazed what he can do and has no fear of doing given how unstable he can be physically.

Helped empty the trash cans in the house and carry down the trash cans to the end of the driveway.  He took the recycling can since it is only 55 gallons instead of 90.  It only ran him over once and he got out of the way without falling.  I was surprised.

He wanted to help me climb up the ladder and clear out the drain.  I had to draw the line there but he watched as I pulled out an old nasty tennis ball.

He steered the tractor down to the wood shed for us to get another load of wood.  This is more an exercise in being aware of his surroundings.  When he tried this while he was here last summer he didn't seem to get the concept that he needed to decide where to take us and that it shouldn't be a tree.

The most impressive is that he loves to help load up the wood into the trailer.  Today he was counting... one, two, three... pieces of wood and carrying them to the trailer.  Frankly if I had the stability problems walking I'd probably be scared in the dark shed, walking on an incline, with things that are going to hurt whether I fall on them or them on me... or some combination.

He also insisted on carrying the full water tanks for the humidifier across the house.  They probably weigh over 35lbs.  That was a bit harder and we had a few trips but he did it.  Sam was kind enough to get a towel and wipe up the little water that spilled.

This weekend we are going to aerate the yard with the tractor and I think I'm going to enlist all the kids to build a burn pile.... probably with the branches of two trees I need to fell and a half dozen little trees that need to go.  Don't worry... we belong to the Arbor Day foundation and we plant a bunch of trees each year (just don't tell my HOA).

A desk, a phrase, and laziness

I wasn't going to write today but Dennis just made me laugh this morning... but I'll get to that.

This weekend was a bit rough... had some hard disciplining to do, of course with Melissa at a birthday party with Amanda.  We actually chatting on the phone about it just to make sure we were on the same page.  The positive thing is that Dennis didn't just clam up and go into his shell like he does.  He was mildly more verbal and physical but it was good... and it was over faster than when he crawls into his shell.  We've been practicing him having to say I'm sorry and followed by a hug when he wants to reconcile... this time Ashley even role played with me for him just to remind him.  Eventually I got a "papa hug, papa hug" with an I'm sorry and hug.

Sam sitting at their new desk.

Yesterday with Sam home "sick" with pink eye, we picked up the desk at Walmart we had ordered.  It's cheap but a pretty good deal with the chair, lamp, and desk.  The desk tilts which the physical therapist suggested might be good for Dennis' drawing... of course as many complained, the bolts pushed through the plastic clamps so now it is flat.  Nothing that a bi-metal drill won't fix though.  Sam helped me put it together... he loved that.  Dennis mostly watched and didn't want to help but at the end he started taking stuff out of the packaging for us which was helpful.

This brought about something interesting I noticed... I'm not sure Dennis comprehends sharing.  This desk is for him and Sam... but he insisted it was only for Sam.  Looking back on his interactions with toys, he may think it is either mine or not mine.  Anyways, something to watch out for.

So the reason for the plug... I'm sure there is great suspense.  We were headed out to the car and I told Dennis it was cold and he needed a jacket.  He said no.  It was in the 20s outside so I figured natural consequences weren't such a good idea with him this time even though he has 2-3 layers of clothes on already.  I threw him a jacket which he accepted but wouldn't put on.  He doesn't get 3 steps out the door into the garage and exclaims "COLD... HOLY MOLEY".  Of course being right and reinforcing he needs to listen was good here... but I had a good chuckle after a double take realizing what he said and it had to have been picked up at school.

I'll end with my favorite part of the new Van... ok, doesn't anyone else have the tendency to capitalize Van... I think I'm dating myself (Vans).  So the van... I take the kids to the bus stop on cold days in the van.  I work from home so I get the kids ready in the morning and am still in my pajamas (as I am for much of the day).  I'm too lazy to get socks on (notice the lazy trend here?) so even in 20degree weather I'll be wearing sandals.  The floor heating in the van is fantastic... keeps the entire van warm and blows right on my feet.

That's it for now... this week we will have an experiment on how pink eye travels in the family when it starts with Sam.

Old pictures

We were blessed today with some old pictures of Snezhana and Dennis.  Folks who adopt know that old pictures can be really hard to come by.  We even took pictures of pictures at the orphanage when we could.

Dennis looks a lot like his brother Yaroslav in this one. (Feb 2009)

I believe the backdrop is a Ukraine Olympic committee banner. (Sept 2009)

This is a picture I don't think we've ever seen before. (Feb 2010)

"Normal" life

Right now two families who adopted from Dennis' orphanage should be on planes on the way home.  That's pretty exciting and Dennis has been praying for them for weeks.  Looking forward to showing him pictures of the kids he knows with families in America.

We had a little "incident" with one of the kids and Dennis' DSi this morning.  It was good to see them work to repair that relationship.  The DSi itself is fine so all will be well in the world :)

Today we tried to call S, no answer.  We'll try again tomorrow after church.  If that fails we'll see if we can get a translator to call the school with us next week and talk with her.  That way we can find out if she's getting any of our packages, if there is a better way for us to get ahold of her, or what not.  Dennis will be at school though.  We actually told her how to SMS us before we left so maybe she can SMS us on the weekends when it is a good time to talk.

We are going to write letters to all the kids, Ukraine gma, and I think we may send an update to the director of the orphanage.  Melissa is back to work so we are fully in the daily grind of life... with things settled it's time to catch up from what has happened and prepare for summer hosting too.  No rest... but we are good with that :)