Melissa will likely edit/complete this when she gets to the hotel tonight but I figured everyone is interested...
I got a text from Melissa this morning to call her. Our facilitator came in this morning so conversations can be deeper. Apparently biomom called yesterday and yelled at Snezhana and Dennis about Dennis getting adopted. So much so it was pretty upsetting to Snezhana... though we don't know how it impacted Dennis since she hasn't seen him today yet. Snezhana got the "this isn't yours to decide, I'm your mom and it is for me to decide" line which she parroted to our translator. The gov't removed parental rights and gave Snezhana the right to make the decision because they trust her more... and she made the right call and she still agrees she did.
Even though we had shown Snezhana the calendar of dates she seemed to be surprised we were there so soon to get him. We've noticed that time while at the orphanage is sort of an untrackable thing for Snezhana at the orphanage... to a large extent her concept of time and ages is frozen at the point they showed up. Snezhana SMS'd on a different SIM card to tell Melissa that Dennis no longer agrees to go. Biomom threatened to go to the prosecutor's office to appeal and get her rights reinstated. At this point all of that should be moot since the decree was issued.
I guess it is a good thing Snezhana didn't understand the timeline. When we were with Violetta and Yuroslav we saw that her relatives could pressure her into do things that weren't good. There we called her on it and it stopped. As I think I mentioned before... part of what makes Snezhana such a good kid is she is obedient and easy going... also means she has real trouble bucking relatives.
To some extent this is a good lesson to Snezhana... as hard as it is. She knows Dennis needs to go... she stood up to them before on it. Her relatives behaving in such a way and trying to prevent it for Dennis after leaving him in this orphanage for years -- let alone the behavior that got him put there -- is deplorable and unloving... without his best interests at heart. They are doing the same to her.
Normally we'd wait until the birth certificate is issued to pick up Dennis but I've asked that we see if folks will approve getting him out of the environment with just the decree. So what was to be a great day should still be... we are just going to have a little bit of a battle (hopefully only emotional) along the way.
One thing I have figured out in this great soap opera we are in is that God broke down all sorts of barriers to get us to Ukraine and it has been difficult since our first SDA app't. So he clearly wants us to go through this and learn/experience whatever is going on.
To whom it may concern, the vote got moved again. Not sure on the new date.
ReplyDeleteHaving been praying for your family since the day I began to read your blog; right after you got to Ukraine. You can rest assured that you are in God's will when you are attacked over and over again. Praying now for protection and peace for your wife and for S and D. Thank you for info on the vote; we hope to be adopting in mid-April.
ReplyDeleteThank you. This is actually the first time anything has come up at all where I have a concern as to Melissa and the kids safety.
ReplyDeleteBTW this is the link to the translated timeline for the bill. I'm sure you are, but my best advice is to just keep moving forward cause you have no control over this and no one can predict what will happen:
http://translate.googleusercontent.com/translate_c?hl=en&sl=uk&tl=en&u=http://gska2.rada.gov.ua/pls/radac_gs09/z_pd_list_n%3Fzn%3D4313&rurl=translate.google.com&twu=1&usg=ALkJrhh6UkOwsK8H5aBjUPseCibjBvhU4Q
Oh those biomoms! We have already had to cut off verbal communication with our girls' biomom already. Give them an inch and they take a mile! I am so glad you are finally getting to take Dennis home! We will continue to pray for the remainder of the process and for Snezhana.
ReplyDelete@Marti: I hear you. We don't plan any communication with biomom and essentially one-way written with gma.
ReplyDeleteThe trick is going to be the two-way communication with Snezhana. Biomom seems to use her to get at the other kids. I think we might need to record those conversations to make sure she isn't causing problems (anyone know how to do that with skype?)... I know if she is and we call her on it she will stop. We just need to know it is happening and we don't speak Russian :)
You can get add-ins for Skype that will record your conversations. I haven't used them but I know they are available.
ReplyDeleteWe have a similar situation as our girls' grandma and 1/2 sister both told our girls it was biomom's birthday on Saturday. We thought there would be more harm in preventing the phone call once they asked so we allowed it...it didnt' go very well so no more. Biomom is already using grandma and the 1/2 sister to "get to" our girls since they communicate with them regularly. So now we are having to make it clear to them both that they are going to be cut off as well if they try anything stupid. We will continue to be using our translator to monitor phone all calls for the short-term and will record all calls for review later. We have a great translator that we can highly recommend if you are interested in that route when you get home.
I found a Skype add in for this. Your family situation does sound too similar.
ReplyDeleteI would be interested in your translator. We have a friend here that is translating our letters but I don't want to add more of a burden.
Since our conversations will be with sister I'm less worried. Dennis is going to be happy and lets stuff just fall away... and sister really does love him. She won't yell at him. I suspect just recording and listening for anything after the fact probably is good enough... but not sure.