Photos from Brian's last day in Ukraine

Us and Dennis back at the orphanage after court.


Me and Snezhana.
she's wearing new jeans, sweater, hat, and boots we bought her earlier this week.
I'm wearing a dress she helped me pick out specifically for court.


Just being silly.


Have to have a "mug shot" for his passport photo.
He likes to smile, so it's hard to get a shot of him NOT smiling!


Taking self-portrait.


Probably one of the last photos I'll post of her since Brian
changed the title of the blog to "Adopting Dennis."

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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Court done!

It went quick... everyone wanted to get on with the holiday.  The judge asked us some questions... repeating the "sickness" topic probably 6 or more times.  Dennis had an enthusiastic YES that he wanted to come to America with us.

What was asked and approved by the judge:
1. To adopt this child
2. To change his name to Dennis Robert Macy
3. To change his birth certificate to show our names as his parents
4. To leave the date and place of birth unchanged

Right now we are back at the orphanage with Dennis.  Melissa was listening to the iPod with Dennis and now it's time to take him to lunch.  Snezhana was by for a while and then had to go to her teacher's b'day party.  Sounds like her mom is back in the picture as well as gma and aunt... for a little bit at least.

Today we'll stay for a little while longer and then I'll have to give my goodbyes.  Dennis for just a few weeks... no idea on Snezhana.

Dec 28th and 29th

Mama and Dennis on the 28th



Snezhana in her mouse costume


I'm not really sure why she looks so unhappy
Denis and one of his friends


The hotel in Lugansk
Yes, that is the full size of it and that is the bed on the left (barely big enough for 2 people)
10th floor view of the city out the window

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A court date?

Ok... as a pleasant surprise, we actually got a court date for this year.  It is for new years (12/31) which was more of a shock cause everyone had been told the last day for court was 12/30.  So we are working with our agent to play 52 pick up with travel arrangements.

Melissa is going to stay until this is all over and I have to leave a couple of days later than planned.  Fortunately a good friend has offered to watch the kids for the few day gap from when my parents leave.  We actually went to a hotel which is in a nicer location than the apartment we stayed in before.  The room isn't nearly as nice and we have to figure out how to get laundry done... but it doesn't smell like smoke and raw sewage.  Most importantly it's right next to a lot of places to eat, the streets are well lit, and a nicer market is right next door.

We finally got Snezhana some clothes that fit her today... Melissa got herself a new dress.  Still need to get her some boots.  Her kyivstar SIM card broke which is why we couldn't get ahold of her.  The kids were exhausted from a trip to the circus today so it was hard to gauge reactions.  Denis was zoning... Snezhana seemed to be more upset about Y&V saying no than the imminent court date for Denis.  Again, I think everyone was exhausted so I won't read much into it.

We got Snezhana a Twilight notepad and put our cell numbers (to SMS) and home address.  We will leave her a little money to write us and she was good with that.  Also, explained we would call her and mail her each week to talk and let her know about Denis.  We asked and she said she'd give us gma's address so we could mail her too... she wasn't sure how gma would take it getting the mails.

We also got a Twilight calendar for her so she we could explain the timeframes we are looking at with Denis (hopefully home mid-Jan soon after his birthday).  And I told her that if she changes her mind we want her to tell us.

Our last two days with Y & V

So, Brian posted earlier tonight that both Y & V said they did not want to be adopted. We anticipated this from the beginning, but were hoping that maybe if they spent some with with us that they might be interested ... guess we were wrong. It's hard to accept that these children need a good home, but are too young/immature to understand that they need this and where they live is not a good "home" nor a family. The living conditions are considered sub standard by American standards, but since they've never been, I guess they wouldn't know that. Even in the little girl's restrooms there are not seats on the toilets ... the kitchen area has several brick size holes in the floor that are the perfect size to get a small foot caught in it and do some serious damage. Ok, so enough lamenting ...

Anyway ... here's a few photos from Dec 26th & 27th of our time with Y & V.

V being a lil' poser

Y playing the piano, but not really

V brushing Y's hair with the doll's hairbrush

V playing with Potato Heads
(not a known toy in Ukraine -
we thought she'd be more interested, but she didn't seem to like them very much)

V playing with Belle doll
(she got bored pretty quickly with just about everything we brought)

Another pose by the tree

Playing with sock puppets
(this was a total flop, and the only 5 mins she played with them)

Posing again!

Playing "airplane" on Brian's feet

Y "not" playing the piano

V playing with Y's rocket toys

Civilization

It is interesting here... if you come you only need to be a little adventurous but it isn't bad as long as you like walking.  I have decided though that civilization requires 3 things... toilets with seats, water that at least the locals are willing to drink, and more than one shower/week and change of clothes.  I usually appreciate the US more when I travel.

I was told that people here were generally grumpy and don't smile.  I haven't found that to be true at all.  Maybe everyone is happy cause the weather has been unseasonably nice... or maybe we've just had a rough 3 weeks and everyone else seems relatively happy.  Either way I hadn't seen the problem.

I did get caught whistling indoors playing a childish game with Violetta... no no.  And we weren't allowed to bring ice cream into the class cause apparently eating cold stuff makes you sick in the winter.  Haven't seen anyone having an issue with drinking water after 6p... and even the older kids at the orphanage eat at 8p.  For those hosting and don't already know it... the kids are used to having 5 meals per day from 8a to 8p and there are no set foods per meal.  Half the days we get ahold of Snezhana she's had fish for breakfast... most of what they eat an American would always consider dinner foods (maybe lunch).

3days left

Well, not surprisingly Y&V said no.  Actually Yuroslav said he didn't want to go cause Snezhana wasn't going... he also said he didn't want Violetta to go.  Honestly this was kind of expected from the beginning and since we don't really have an attachment to Y&V, like we do with S&D, this wasn't all that hard to take.  We had heard earlier in the day that Y simply didn't want to be adopted at all and V is the same way.  Maybe we are just numb at this point.

Our kids were pretty upset about it.  Amanda especially... she was really looking forward to sharing her room with Violetta and having another little girl to play with all the time.  Ashley went off camera for a minute... not sure if that was to cry a little or not but she was good shortly afterward.

Tomorrow kids from both orphanages are going to the circus in Lugans'k.  We are headed there tomorrow too but didn't get an invite from either orphanage so we just hope to see S&D when they get back.  We spend the next two days with them and then fly back home.  Court didn't get filed for Dennis and the SDA closes Friday for an unknown amount of time so we have no court date so we don't know when we come back, how much notice we'll have when it does, or if the vote (now Jan 11th) causes us any issues -- well, court is kind of filed but I won't get my hopes up.  We told our facilitator that we'll change/make whatever schedule we need if it means getting a court date this year.  In an odd way all this delay gives Snezhana more time to think if she is even still doing so.

Tonight we have to decide if we want gma contacted and write a letter for our facilitator to read.  We were told that doing so is about 50/50 likely to help or make it worse... like gov't agencies getting called to investigate ludicrous allegations bad.  With Y&V saying no our focus is on Dennis and the relationship we will continue with Snezhana... so we have to weigh how we get affected that way.  With a LOT not going as expected up to this point... and not in a good way... I'm really not sure which to do.  We may take some more time to think about it and write something.

4th day with Y&V

Again, spent time with Violetta in the morning.  She was being sassy so I ended up putting her in a time out.  It's funny how much you can understand what a 5yr old girl is doing/saying even when you don't speak the language -- and your translator isn't in the room.  And she understands exactly what you are saying too.  She straightened up afterward.

On the way our our facilitator and I were walking to find out when we might be able to spend time with Yuroslav... particularly outside since we got the basketball and soccer was fun the first day.  Yuroslav was very happy to see me... I think he gets some points with his friends having us there to adopt him.  They all liked the batman stuff from yesterday too.  Anyways, it started raining later and we never got to play outside.

Yuroslav is a good kid and his mild manner will mesh very well with Sam.  We met with him at 3p, the Rowell's and part of their clan were there again which is a really good dynamic.  Yuroslav was impressing me with his english knowledge... he can count and knows some of his colors, it was good.  We then moved  over to Violetta's building again.  She was being sassy again so she didn't get her gifts for quite a while and Yuroslav got all the attention.

We wanted to Skype with the kids again and then realized everyone was in church.  We tried calling Snezhana so Y&V could talk with her but no answer... I suspect she's sleeping as she's been exhausted and when we talked to her this morning she said she hadn't slept well.  We did have a good talk with her and Dennis this morning.  That was nice and the first time she's been able to get Dennis on the phone.  He's funny... and asked for "chocolate"... specifically snickers :)

Then we had a good dinner with the Rowells and now we are off to get some sleep ourselves.  We are going to bring cake and stuff to Violetta's class tomorrow.  Then see if we can take Yuroslav's class to pizza.  I have a mission to get a flashlight for Y tomorrow... he likes the one I've been using and I saw them for cheap at the open market.

Merry Christmas!

First of all ... Merry Christmas to our American friends and family back home! We were thrilled to hear that Ashley, Sam, and Amanda had a white Christmas!

Christmas it not celebrated on December 25th in Ukraine, so it was a typical Saturday. It was also one of the few sunny days that this area has during the winter months. Funny thing though ... it was snowing and much colder back home in VA!

The tree outside the hotel

"Christmas Dinner"

Our new friend's, the Rowells
(not our first meal together and won't be our last)

Doing nails with V

Look who cracked a smile!
All it takes is a little bit of Batman

Brian and Y playing with the Batman mask and arm shooting gizmo

Well guys ... I hate to admit it, but I'm too tired to blog much tonight. The rest of the photos are up on facebook http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=100894&id=1276629484#!/album.php?fbid=1761660162756&id=1276629484&aid=100894 and for interested parties, the American Christmas back home album is posted on my mother-in-laws page http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=100894&id=1276629484#!/album.php?aid=274104&id=579163673

... and to all a goodnight!

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3rd day with V&Y

It actually went pretty much as planned.  We met with Violetta from 9-11a and it continued to be fun.  She was pretty excited to see us each time we came today.  She gave us both hugs and kisses on the cheek when we left.

Yuroslav opened up a bit today.  We played with some of the Rowell's kids at 3p in the TV room on Yaroslav's floor.  I think that was good for everyone, especially him.  They didn't let us go outside to play with the basketball we got (nice basketball $6.50).  Yuroslav was pretty happy with the Batman mask and wrist shooter... Violetta liked it too (more than her "barbie") and tried it on herself.  I walked Yuroslav back to his living area at 6p again todaay and left Violetta a bit after 7p as we did last night.  As an aside, apparently a couple of the Rowell's kids know Snezhana, probably from camp.

We called Snezhana and let Y&V talk to her again.  They all seemed to enjoy that and there were no issues... plan to keep that up as we can.  The internet connectivity is better here in Severodonetsk so we actually skyped with the kids back in the US and everyone got to say hi.  We showed Y&V the family room (with Christmas tree), the kitchen (and where they will sit), and the stairs to the bedrooms upstairs.  That was as far as the web cam could stretch.  The kids said hi, each others names, waved, and generally had a reasonable first contact.  Yuroslav was interested enough to want a better view.

I used the photo album of the kids rooms to try to show Yuroslav where each person's room was in relation to the ceiling in the family room as viewed from the webcam.  I mentioned where Dennis will be since he is coming and if he'd like to see Dennis every day ("yes").  He asked about whether Snezhana was coming and where she would be.  I told him she's not sure (maybe my opinion only) and doesn't want to leave her gma but if she doesn't come we will keep calling and writing her.  Then showed him pictures of her room and where that was view the webcam.  We knew this all would be easier if Snezhana was certainly coming.

It is Christmas... we went to a Turkish restaurant with the Rowells.  Food was good and so was the company.  Probably the best meal we've had in Ukraine.  The owner makes really good baklava.

Right now we are just exhausted... another "early" day tomorrow.  It sounds funny calling 9a early considering we normally have the kids off to school by 7:15a and it isn't like we go to bed any earlier but this is all very draining.

More of the SDA craziness

Apparently they decided they wanted yet another document on Friday for Dennis which will arrive on Monday.  So we've lost the ability to have a court date this year for Dennis even if that was the direction we ended up taking.

I feel like that cell commercial "Can you hear me now?" except that I walk around and every place we go I say "Can you shoot me now?".

Just waiting to see how each day unfolds and what will be the next days surprise :)  Current plan is 9-11a with Violetta and 3-6p like today with Yuroslav and then Violetta.

In truth, except for Violetta not wanting to leave her current caregivers (so she'll never say 'yes')... that is going great.  She is completely comfortable with us and we are enjoying that time.  She apparently doesn't understand personal space as we spent part of the night parroting each other with funny sounds but she decided she needed to be within 2 inches of my face when doing so.

2nd day with Y&V

It was really the first day with Yuroslav.  Anyways, I called Snezhana this morning just to make sure she agreed that Y&V would be better off in America and she agreed.  Was hoping that would set things up well for the calls with Y&V but it didn't.

Actually at this point I'll talk about the kids before going into our soap opera of an adoption...

This was the first day with Yuroslav.  When we showed up we couldn't find him... turned out he declined to go inside to meet with us.  So we met him outside and I played soccer with him and a bunch of the boys for a while.  Being out of practice and wearing large hiking boots is not very conducive but it was fun.  After that we walked over to Violetta's building tossing a spiderman ball.  He did smile some and was humored at times but play was limited and fairly unengaged -- he seemed more interested in doing solitary stuff.  The caregivers warned us that he takes a long time to adjust to new social dynamics -- I got the impression that meant months, not days.  At the end of the day I walked him back to his living area and "impressed" him with my ability to speak directions in Russian and that I had a flashlight... it seems a common issue that everyone in this country walks around in the dark both inside and outside.

Violetta was her same adorable and bossy self from yesterday.  Today she and Melissa got some 1:1 time as I was working on some of the issues below or playing with Yuroslav.  It took no time to get engaged today and at the productions today she kept looking at me once she noticed I was there.  Yuroslav obviously knew we were there but was hiding as all his friends were looking at us and pointing.

So back on the drama...

I think gma, and now biomom, got on Snezhana today before the calls.  Yuroslav really enjoyed talking to his sister and brother.  Unfortunately Snezhana made some comments that were clearly intended to dissuade him from coming.  Yuroslav is pretty clearly uninterested in being adopted so to some extent there was no harm.  But he was told his biomom and gma wanted to talk to him and to get Snezhana's cell number from us -- which we did not give based on that conversation.  Violetta was practicing for a production so she wasn't around at the time.

The facilitator and I stepped into the hallway a bit later and called Snezhana.  It was a hard call... we confirmed with her that she did believe Y&V will be better off in America and then told her we were concerned that Yuroslav was suddenly concerned about things he wasn't before.  That if she really believes he is better off with us then we can't have her pressuring him... also that we are sorry gma and biomom are pressuring her but it is unfair to help them pressure him too.  She said she would not do it again -- and she kept that promise with Violetta's call.

At the end, our facilitator got gma's cell number.  Snezhana went between being mad and crying... which I think was healthy given the topics.  We've asked our facilitator in Kyiv if she would be willing to call gma to explain we aren't trying to take her grand daughter away to never be heard from again.  Hopefully that will happen and go well.  At this point it is obvious we have to address the gma issue.

I suspect this is going to be an ongoing issue and when we get Dennis home we are going to make sure we frequently send letters/pictures to gma (as well as Snezhana if she doesn't come) just to show that she actually gets MORE communication and visibility into her grandkids when they are in America than when they were in Ukraine.

I also asked Snezhana if she wanted us to call her again tonight... she said yes but right now she has a different SIM card in her phone (they switch a lot) so we haven't been able to talk to her again.  I got her a SIM card from the other provider today so next week we should know both numbers.  Hopefully she hasn't shut down again.

Photos from the 2nd Day with V & Y

Brian again posted the details, so I'll post the photos. And, since I got completely shafted yesterday, I think I earned the right to post my only 2 photos with the kids at the top of the blog post for tonight!

Y is next to me playing ball with Brian and
V is letting me braid her hair (while teasing Brian)

Most little girls with long hair like braids!

Y and Brian tossing around a ball

V has no concept of "personal space" and spent quite a
bit of time mimicking Brian's words and facial expressions
while her face was like 2 inches from his!

Brian and V looking at our summer hosting photos -
She knew Sneahzna right away and we taught her our kids' names,
so she would point to each photo and name each person or insist
that we tell her the names if she forgot.

This was from earlier in the day -
the school put on a New Year's production and we attended.
V and her class had on costumes and got to dance around
the tree with Grandfather Frost and the other actors from the play.

Y is the boy with the black sweater with white collar and the
teacher has her hand on his shoulder. He was completely ignoring us,
but his friends were pointing at us from across the room!

Y (red and black) and another boy playing futol (soccer)

Y and Brian high-fiving after someone one their team scored a goal

Y and Brian with the coloring book

The rest of the photos will be posted on facebook.

Happy Christmas Eve everyone!

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The question I would like to ask

So I'm more and more convinced that Snezhana believes that coming to America with us is the best thing for her.  But there are unresolved things that are keeping her here.  I'd love to know what those are and which ones aren't just trivial to resolve.  Gma is a big one but not knowing the specifics on Gma I can only guess at needs:

1) Call ever day: 5min/$1 so for $40/mo you could have 200min of talk time.  Maybe it is not everyday but it could be any day.
2) Send letters with pictures
3) Week long summer visits accompanied by mom.  This actually give more and higher quality visiting time that she has today.
4) Helping grandma... the USD is so stronger than grivna, you can easily feed gma for $300 USD per month.  Health care in Ukraine is crazy cheap (like $80 for an appendectomy).  In the US this is the type of money you make on a summer job and send some home.

As the kids come to live with us I intend to send updates to gma....via Snezhana if she doesn't come.  If Snezhana does come I would put her in charge of keeping gma up to speed.... and actually that would go for all the gmas who want to get the updates.

Photos of Violetta - Part 7: Bonding with Daddy (Finale)

And, for my final post of the night ... Violetta bonding with Brian ...

Dancing

Be tossed up in the air

Riding on shoulders
(translated by "S") I'm not scared!

Oh wait ... I am scared!

And ... my least favorite part of the evening ... as much as I enjoyed watching them bond, me being the scary monster they were bonding over wasn't exactly what I had in mind!


Ok, so this is the last one ... the rest can be found on my facebook album "Our First Day with Violetta."

And, to all a goodnight ...

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Photos of Violetta - Part 6: The Violetta Show!

What a DIVA!!! She must watch music videos or something because her dance moves were definitely from something teenagish that she's seen. At one point she was doing something way more inappropriate than the rest of the dance moves and Brian told her no, "NYET" and she stopped ... surprisingly!

("S" translating) And now ... the Violetta show ... staring {insert stage name}
(which I can't remember)

She sang us a song, which she told "S" was a poem about Grandfather Frost (Santa)

Talking/singing/dancing

She had our complete attention ... and she knew it ... she also told us not to laugh and to behave ... afterward she asked "S" which one of us behaved!

"S" doesn't have any daughters, so he seemed to be just as amused by her as we were! :)

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Photos of Violetta - Part 5

M & M's

Well, we had M & M's and Twix and since she most likely had never seen or tasted either, she could not decide. We told "S" to translate what they would look like, but she still could not decide, so Daddy thought M & M's would be most fun ... and they were ...


From the reaction to them, I'm betting this is her first time to try them. She popped about 3 into her month and bit down ... she smiled, giggled, and made some other sound effect, to which I can only assume meant, "YUMMY!" I laughed in return and asked if she thought they were good.

Asking for 1 more "adin"

A few dance moves later, she's back asking for 2 more "dva"

Something ultra secret!
(makes my heart happy)

This was right before Mommy became the scary monster from which they had to run from tree to tree to hide and then if I pretended not to pay attention to them, she would run up from behind me and slap me on the back with both hands and would do it again if I did not turn around and growl at her! :)

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